Dreams of a Memory
by Motorchickensmile
Summary: Alice promised she would never forget him, but it was a promise she'd made and broken once before. She forever finds herself too tall or too small. Its time for a third fall down the rabbit hole. Can he help her become the right size at last? Alice/Hatter
1. Chapter 1

A/N; Hello, everyone! Long time no see! It's been _forever _since I've worked on a new fic, but I just saw Alice in Wonderland, loved it, and being the shameless Depp/Burton/HBC lover that I am, I became inspired to start out on this little idea. I was originally planning to make it a one shot, but because I of course can keep nothing down to a reasonable length, it's looking like it's going to be a multi-chapter. So if you liked Alice in Wonderland as much as I did, read, enjoy ( I hope! ) review, and tell me what you think! Glad to be back!

Also, I apologize for the lousy, unoriginal title. It's sadly all I could come up with for the moment.

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs ( belonged? ) to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter One_

_What happens, wondered Alice, as her toes tipped over lids of teapots buried in the sand….to the sea, to make it green instead of blue?_

_Said the dormouse, hanging upside down, "It could be done to you!"_

"_But then," said she, with puzzled frown, "I'd have to be blue to begin with! And if what's blue is green, whatever would what's __**not **__blue come to be?"_

_The March Hare said, upon his head; "What's blue is blue, what's green is green. What's not's a cup of tea."_

_One was missing. The wingback seat at the head of the table was empty, much emptier than the other empty seats. Alice tumbled down from the beach in the sky, the world flipping like a coin upon itself, until the table was flat before her, the mouse and the hare again right side up._

"_But what is missing here?" she asked them, trying to swim closer, but always falling farther away. _

"_A missing hair??" the rabbit cried, and began to paw his ears. "Where??"_

"_Away with you!" the mouse replied, "Before you drown in tears!"_

_Tears? _

_And then a voice…..somewhere far inside….._

_**Twas brillig, and the slithy toves**_

_**Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:**_

_And suddenly, the animals and the table and all the pretty trappings were gone again, and it was nothing but dark and tumbling, her feet kicking all around but finding no purchase anywhere._

"_But wait!" Alice cried as she fell down, down towards the stars. "Who was missing from the wingback chair?"_

_I'm certain someone ought to have been there….._

_**All mimsy were the borogroves,**_

_**And the mome raths outgrabe.**_

"Alice!"

"WHAT!" she shouted, her eyes bursting open as she dropped through the final tissue of unconsciousness and jumped awake.

Alexander started at the abrupt slap of her voice and pulled away, sitting back on his haunches. Beyond his face, the black sky swam with pinprick stars. Nearby, the sound of enormous breakers crashing on the sand. Alice blinked, still feeling as if the world were spinning beneath her. Slowly, calmly, she sat upright, her hands spreading flat on the blanket. Her long, loose hair was full of sand, and it fell in dusty gales down her shoulders.

"You gave us a start, Ms. Kingsleigh!" Alexander muttered once he was certain she was awake. "All of a sudden it was past suppertime, and we realized no one had seen you for hours! How long have you been asleep out here?"

Alice looked at him blankly, her eyes adjusting to the near darkness. Far beyond them on the ocean horizon, the sun was sinking fast, a long swath of orchid pink licking the skyline. The empty beach stretched in either direction for miles, Lord Ascot's bungalow apartment no more than a dot of glowing window light a quarter mile away.

"I'm not sure," Alice answered truthfully, shivering and rubbing her bare arms. "But it was still sunny when I came out."

Alexander clucked his tongue and took the jacket from his own shoulders, draping it over hers. "How I'd love to be that absent-minded, if only for a day. Come---Lord Ascot's been worried. We must go and show him you've been found."

Alice took his outstretched hands and let him help her to her feet, and together they began walking towards the bungalow. She felt a slight sway of dizziness as the heels of her shoes sank into the sand, and she narrowed her eyes in the dim light. How long _had _she been asleep? It seemed only a moment ago she'd been sitting on the blanket in the bright afternoon light, gazing off at the great green rollers of the Indian Ocean…..

Without warning, a strange little voice peeped up in the back of her head.

_Green instead of blue? What fun! So much to be seen, too much to be done…._

Alice blinked, starting slightly. _Her dream…._the memory of it was already more than half gone. She was certain she had dreamt of the beach, the stars, and the sea, but…..what else? There must have been more….

"By the way," Alexander said curiously, "Whatever in the world is a _mome rath, _Ms. Kingsleigh?"

She looked at him sharply. His brown eyes looked almost black in the fading sunset, his tawny ponytail almost falling loose at the nape of his neck. The handsome, square curves of his face and jaw were muted in the dull light.

"A _what?" _she asked.

"Did I say it right? A….mome rath? You were mumbling something in your sleep, a little verse of some kind. Mostly gibberish. Did you hear it from the children in town? Though it doesn't sound like any native rhyme…."

"Mome rath," Alice repeated quietly to herself and she looked down at her footsteps, trying to peer into haze of her own thoughts.

_**All mimsy were the borogroves**__…._

It was the queerest thing….she was half certain she could hear a strange voice uttering the words, a thick Scottish brogue, not at all her own. Yet as soon as the words came, they vanished again, and she could remember nothing.

_From blue to green…._

….._**from green to orange**__…._

Alice shrugged.

"Just some nonsense, I suppose," she answered quietly, not quite satisfied with her own response. "I've been told that I'll often say odd things when I'm asleep. I have some very grand dreams, from time to time.....though I never seem able to remember them afterward."

Alexander smiled. "Well, I thought it was very nice. Come along now, quickly. Lord Ascot _must _know you're safe and sound."

Lord Ascot had indeed been worried; the moment Alice and Alexander came through the door to his private study, he started so greatly he nearly fell off the back of his chair. Alice assured him that she felt quite fine, and had only fallen asleep for a few hours while out for a stroll on the beach, but he insisted that she take a small supper in her room and keep warm in bed until morning.

"We can't have you catching a cold, Alice my dear," he repeated persistently. "In this season, India is quite ghastly with disease, and one little sniffle can be the foothold for a menagerie of nasty germs. Besides which, you must have all your strength for tomorrow; our ship sails out first thing in the morning. Do this for me, won't you Alice?"

What could she do, but smile and promise to do as he asked? Lord Ascot was secretly a tender man, stern and sharp in all his business matters, but a great pushover when it came to Alice. He had been one of her father's closest friends and colleagues, of course he fussed over her from time to time. He had become more like an uncle than a master, she more of a daughter than an apprentice.

Once she was alone in her room and her supper tray had been taken away, Alice pulled the knit blanket tighter around her arms and went to stand by the window. The bungalow sat on the very edge of the little village, less than a mile down the coast from the Indian trading post where she, Lord Ascot, and Alexander Banderton, her fellow apprentice, had spent the last six months establishing lines of trade through the South Asian rim. Tomorrow, after being away for two years, she was setting sail back home, to England.

Alice gazed thoughtfully out into the black night, the great dark mass of the ocean filling every corner of her eyes and her thoughts.

_Back to London….to mother….to home….._

It seemed so long since she had last seen it. What might have changed?

Alice tucked a strand of blonde, wavy hair behind her ear and smile gently.

_I've __changed._

_**You never STOP changing, my dear. Three inches, five inches, twenty feet high! Up and down like a sunflower. Always too tall or too small.**_

Alice's wide blue eyes shot even wider.

That voice. That _voice. _Why did she keep hearing it?

_Who was missing from the table?_

Suddenly, there was a gentle knock at her bedroom door. Alice jumped, irritated at the interruption to her wandering thoughts.

"Yes?" she murmured, turning her face back to the window.

The door creaked gently and Alexander peeped his head inside.

"Just wondering if you were feeling any better," he said quietly, almost hopefully.

Alice sighed. "I'm fine, thank you, but I've felt fine _all evening."_

Alexander grinned sheepishly. "I know. I told Lord Ascot the same thing, but he sent me all the same."

She raised one eyebrow at him. "Alex," she said softly, gesturing for him to come nearer. He looked at her curiously, but shut the door behind him and came to where she stood before the open window. A faint, tropical breeze wafted into the room and played with the loose ends of their hair.

"Alex," she said again, taking his wrist in her hand. "This isn't only about the fever going round this time of year. You and Lord Ascot have been treating me strangely for weeks now. You act as if I'm going to break at every footstep, fall down in ill hysterics at any moment. Tell me what's been going on."

Alexander hesitated, eyeing her uneasily.

"_Alex," _she whispered. "Please."

He cleared his throat lightly, turning away.

"You haven't been yourself lately, Ms. Kingsleigh," he answered.

Alice narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You…well…..you know as well as anyone, it's no secret that you're a bit….well…..that you…..you tend to let your head go off into the clouds a bit more often than most."

Alice closed her eyes briefly, then smiled. "So I've been told."

"Well….it's….the thing of it is, Ms. Kingsleigh, it's become a bit more serious than that. Come, now, surely you know what I mean. You've been wandering off on the beach, or into the village, or through the fields all by yourself, nearly every day for a month…..when you talk, you never seem to be looking at anyone you're talking _to_. It's as if….it's as if you're looking at things that aren't there."

Alice's hand stiffed around his, then she slowly released his wrist. A very brief, sharp jolt coursed through her body, and she tightened her jaw, her pale skin going ever so faintly paler about the nose and temples.

_Things that aren't there….._

"You're sure you're not exaggerating, Alex?" she said quietly. "I'm the first to own that I'm easily distracted….I'm not going to deny that, you know I'm not. But….you talk as if you and Lord Ascot think I'm going mad."

_**And what's wrong with that?**_

This time, the voice frightened her. Alice became cold all over, abruptly forgetting Alexander and their argument. She heard his voice moving in and out of her ears, but she wasn't listening to what he was saying. Her own heartbeat was thundering slowly, the room seemed to disappear in a sea of stars and shadows.

_**Away with you, before you drown in tears!**_

_She had been falling….falling….._

_The wingback chair! The wingback chair! Who was somewhere else, not there?_

"….and you mustn't think that I'm saying you----Alice? Are you listening to me? _Alice!"_

She jumped, the room instantly flooding back around her. She blinked, looking guiltily at Alexander. He groaned, tossing his hands into the air.

"Do you see?? This is exactly what we're worried about! You can't keep yourself here for more than five minutes at a time!"

"I'm sorry, Alex, I meant to listen, I just…..it's getting late, and I want to get plenty of rest for tomorrow. Would you please let me retire for the night?"

But Alexander only reached out and seized her hands in his, pressing his mouth into a firm, unyielding line.

"You can't pretend there isn't something wrong if there is, Ms. Kingsleigh," he said quietly, sharply.

"I wouldn't. You know I wouldn't," she protested.

"But you _are," _Alexander pressed. "I can see that you are. What is it, Ms. Kingsleigh? You can tell me, you know I'll understand."

He was pulling her closer and closer with each word. Alice suddenly realized that his eyes were only inches away, those rich brown orbs boring directly into hers. His face was writ with concern, with a buried longing. A deep pit quickly formed in her stomach.

_Oh, no. Not Alexander._

_He was…..like a brother to her…..surely he didn't?_

And yet…..of course he did. And she had known it for the longest time. The looks he gave her, the little smiles….his awkward steps, his constant needling….

"Alex," she said cautiously, extricating herself from his grasp. "I'm terrible sorry. But I would very much like to retire now."

He looked for a moment as if he was going to press her further, but then he exhaled slowly, the fire burning out of his gaze as he deflated.

"Of course, Ms. Kingsleigh," he sighed. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night."

"Good night, Alex."

He turned to go, his footsteps striking woodenly in the dim room until he reached the door. He lingered for a moment in the sliver of light, looking back at her…..and then he was gone, leaving her alone again in the darkness.

Alice looked at the place where he had been for a long moment before turning back to the window, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the sill and letting her face fall into her hands.

"Oh, _Alex," _she muttered to herself, shaking her head back and forth. "Alex, Alex…."

She could see it. As plain as the nose on his face, she could see that Alexander loved her. He might as well have told her so himself.

Alice looked up, her eyes bleary and her face drawn in a weary frown. The moon had come out, a pale silver cup that hung low in the sky and painted a ring of peacock blue into the blackness.

"Moon," she whispered quietly, watching it longingly, "What is it I'm always looking at when I'm looking at nothing?"

The wind whistled softly in reply.

"Why is it I never fall in love?"

Silence.

Alexander was a very nice young man. He had promising talent for business, a good, sound head on his shoulders, and he was always terribly considerate and accommodating, especially to her. Any sensible girl would have positively thrown herself at him, had he expressed even the slightest favor.

Then why…..why didn't she like him?

_**So rested he by the Tumtum tree,**_

_**And stood a while in thought.**_

Alice sighed heavily and let her head fall down to rest on her arms.

In spite of herself, she knew that what Alex told her had been true. Something had been troubling her for some time….something she didn't understand, something she couldn't place.

She felt as if she had forgotten something….something great, something dreadfully dear and important, and yet for the life of her she could not remember what. She simply could _not _remember what.

But something was missing.

Something invisible.

She hadn't known it, and yet….deep down, of course she had. Just as she had somehow known all along how Alexander felt about her, and yet chosen not to see it. She had been wandering the hills and the beaches looking for something, something that couldn't be found because it didn't exist. It was that that she was looking at whenever she looked at anyone, that which she spoke of whenever she talked. It was as if she was floating through the world, looking and hearing but never once touching the ground. She was searching for a dream she had once known.

_But a dream about what?_

"What in the world is a mome rath?" she asked herself, and she found that her voice was heavy with tears. She sniffled, wiping her eyes with her hand. "Stop crying, Alice," she commanded herself very sensibly. It did no good.

Perhaps if she looked at her butterfly again.

Still sniffling and whimpering softly with the tears she couldn't stop, Alice stood and walked to her roll top writing desk, took from the shelf a clean glass marmalade jar, and returned to the moonlight shining through the window.

A few days ago, as she'd been on one of her long, aimless walks through the hilly farmlands, watching the Indian men from the village plowing the fields or playing with their children, it had landed on her arm…..a little bright butterfly, of the bluest azure she had ever seen. It settled on the sleeve of her dress, a blue dot against pale grey, and had not moved save for a few slow, gentle ups and downs of its delicate wings. Enraptured with wonder, Alice had walked all the way back to the bungalow without disturbing it….by a miracle unimaginable, it remained there on her arm through the entire journey. Only when she gently encased it with the mouth of a glass jar did it stir from her, and then it only fluttering lightly to the bottom of the jar and sat almost obediently as she screwed down the lid. There it had lived contentedly for three days, breathing through the little holes she had punched in the tin and feeding off the grasses and flowers she slipped in to it. She felt that somehow, the butterfly _wanted _to be there with her.

And yet now, as she looked at him again underneath the pale moonlight, his brilliantly blue wings drifting lazily up and down, up and down, Alice became instantly certain that she ought to let him go.

"Because after all," she mumbled to herself, the tears still running down her face. "One can't live all of one's life in a marmalade jar….no matter _how _blue one's wings may be."

In one decisive twist, she opened the lid and held the jar aloft out into the night, mouth towards the moon.

For what seemed a long moment, the blue butterfly simply sat there, unmoving on his little twig.

Alice began to cry aloud, her shoulders shaking. Indeed, she was crying much more than she had any right to, and she knew it, yet she couldn't stop herself.

"Go on!" she nearly shouted, jabbing the jar once forward. "Fly away!"

At last the butterfly lit off, its wings fluttering like flower petals in the darkness. It circled back through the frame of the window, startling her as it landed for a moment on her nose. Alice stood perfectly still with surprise, the rivers of tears falling in what must have looked like twin waterfalls to the little blue creature. It sat there for a full minute, and she stared at it cross-eyed.

And then….

_**How doth the little crocodile, improve his shining tail?**_

The voice in her head was so loud, so unmistakably audible that Alice yelped aloud. The butterfly instantly lit off from her nose and fluttered away into the night, seeming to fly straight up and disappear in the bright crescent of the moon.

Alice stood, stock still for a moment at the open window, the blanket falling from her shoulders and the cool breeze brushing through the thin cotton of her white nightdress. The tears dripped unceasingly from her chin.

"Then….it must be true," she whispered, her eyes fading into a dull, listless sadness. "Perhaps Alexander's right."

She dropped to her knees before the window sill, hung her head down over her arms, and cried.

"What if I really am mad?"

_**Then the time has come again.**_

A big knot, a lump of sobs that could only be worked out through her mouth and her eyes, formed in Alice's insides, and she cried and she cried and she cried. She could scarcely shut her eyes for the tears streaming out of them. They ran down her face, ran over her hands, trickled down the window sill and fell outside in the tall grass and the sand.

_**You are either too tall, or too small**__._

Alice let out a great, wailing sob, so loud that she startled herself. She opened her eyes wide and lifted her head. The cries were pouring out of her without cease, without pause. She tried to clamp her mouth shut and found that she couldn't bear to have it closed….the cries built up like the flood behind a dam, and came bursting out of her of their own accord. Surely Alexander and Lord Ascot would come crashing through the door at any moment to find out what was the cause of such an ungainly ruckus.

And then Alice suddenly realized that she was wet….she was wet to the knees. Looking down, she saw that her tears had soaked the front of her nightgown and drops of water were rolling down her ankles. She looked down at her hands for only an instant, and her cupped palms filled with tears. Terribly frightened, she turned to run from her bedroom and into the hallway, but when she looked around the room had no door, and the candle light had been snuffed out. All was darkness.

She turned back to the window and saw the moon above the ocean, fuller and brighter than it had been before.

"Oh, help me, moon!" she cried between her wild sobs. She reached out of the window as if to grab hold of the moon in her fist, but when she looked out into the night, she no longer saw the stretch of grass and beach that had only moments ago stood between her and the ocean. Everywhere she looked, water glistened back at her. The waves lapped against the wall of the bungalow, sea spray crashed against the window sill in white salty bursts. Her tears poured out onto the sill and ran outside, filling the ocean. Her feet were wet; she looked down and saw that her tears had filled the dark room with inches of water, and the level was steadily rising. In moments, she was standing waist deep.

_What a horrible, horrible dream! _thought Alice. She reached down to fill her cupped hands with tears to splash her face with and wake herself up, but when she did she lost her footing and slipped down underneath the surface. She opened her mouth and it filled with the salty liquid; she swallowed three great mouthfuls before she could swim her way back to the open air. Gasping, she climb up to sit on the window sill, but there was no relief either; the ocean outside was pounding her with wave after wave, and at last there came one swell so mighty that it carried her straight through the frame and she was rushed out into the night, the sea tossing and twirling her this way and that like the sway of a forceful dance partner.

Then, just when she was sure she would be lost forever out in the open sea, Alice felt her bare hands brush against something cold and wonderfully smooth. Opening her eyes, she saw that it was the marmalade jar she had left sitting on the sill. Quickly, before it could sink beneath the waves, she caught hold of the slippery glass lip and hoisted herself over it, slipping into the mouth of the jar and tumbling down to sit deep in the bottom. Dripping wet, but at last out of the sea, Alice looked all around her. The glass walls of the jar showed straight down to the invisible bottom of the endless, emerald green sea, and she was floating at the top of it. The waves tossed and rolled her, but the jar stayed afloat, and through it's glass rim and open mouth she could still see the starry sky high above, and the moon full and winking.

It was only when she finally curled herself up in a ball to try and fall asleep in the hopes that she might awake safely out of the dream and back in Lord Ascot's bungalow that Alice fleetingly paused to wonder how in the world she had been able to fit inside the marmalade jar she had just that evening held a tiny blue butterfly in.

A/N; Quite the hodgepodge. Really don't know how I got to this point. Oh well….carry on! Hope it didn't suck!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N; Hello, all! Alright….if you will, please allow me one moment of shameless begging. I'm very, very, VERY grateful for all the traffic this story has received so far in such a short time, and I _certainly _appreciate the scores of Story Alerts, but listen….I'm _begging _you….if you're reading this story, please, please, _please, PLEASE, _LEAVE A REVIEW!! To all you wonderful people who have left me reviews, THANK YOU! It's for the readers like you that I do what I do! Seriously, reviews are what encourage me to get updatesout faster, so the more I get, the sooner the story continues. So if you've read this, favorited it, or have it on alert, but haven't left a review…..please, _please, _consider reviewing!! Even short ones help!

_( exhale ) _Ok. Sorry about that.

And I apologize for the short length of these chapters thus far; I'm trying to get them out in a timely manner. Once the story picks up some speed, I promise they'll get longer. Enjoy!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs ( belonged? ) to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 2_

How long had it been? Hours?

She had no way of knowing. All she knew was that try as she might, she couldn't sleep….and neither could she wake up.

Alice lay flat on her back in the bottom of the marmalade jar, her hands folded across her stomach, gazing up through the glistening glass ring to the sky above. The sea had calmed, the gently rolling troughs and crests bobbing her softly along. She sighed lowly.

"I do wish I hadn't cried so much," she remarked absently to herself. Her voice resonated funnily in her little glass room. "What am I to do now?" she wondered aloud.

_Though I suppose it doesn't matter…._thought she……_I'm bound to wake up sooner or later….aren't I? Alexander is sure to check on me in the morning. _

_Alexander…._

The moment her name crossed his mind, a heavy pang pressed against Alice's heart. Now that she had really realized---_admitted to herself_?---how obviously he cared for her, she couldn't shake a dreadful, weighty sensation of guilt. Could she have been leading him on without knowing it? A warm smile here, a nod there, a gay laugh at one of his jokes? Thinking back on their year and one half of shared apprenticeship, she could suddenly call to mind hundreds of little gestures that she had meant as nothing more than genial, but in the wrong light, might perhaps be taken as more. She had believed them to be nothing more than friends…close friends, almost siblings perhaps, but….in _love? _Never.

"I don't fall in love," Alice sadly reminded herself.

It was true. In all her twenty-one years, she had never once met anyone who lit that secret spark inside her, who made her believe there was anything at all left to be discovered between her and another human heart. And it wasn't as if she'd never had opportunities; she had been dull towards Hamish Ascot, dull towards that boat-hand on her first voyage to China who gave her crimson looks, dull to any number of Lord Ascot's younger business associates who failed to conceal their true interests…and now she was, if possible, even duller toward poor Alexander, the only one of her score of suitors who might have proved an even _faintly _pleasing candidate.

_What if she __**never **__fell in love?_

"And my face won't last forever," she murmured, as if reciting lines from a verse she'd once heard.

Then, out of nowhere, it came again.

_**Well, I should hope it will last at least as long as you do!**_

Alice sat bolt upright, her heart beating faster. She supposed the voice shouldn't really alarm her so---there were far stranger things than voices without faces, especially in _her _dreams----but there was something about this particular call that left her uneasy. She was absolutely _certain _she had heard it somewhere before….but _where? _From whom? It was at the very tip of her thoughts, yet at the same time wholly obscured….like a face she hadn't seen since infancy, a face entrenched at the center of her memory, so deep it was all but entirely inaccessible.

"Who is talking to me?" she called out to no one. She rose shakily to her feet in the drifting marmalade jar, her still-damp nightdress clinging to her arms and legs. She waited, half expecting an answer.

Nothing….only the sounds of the ocean.

Alice growled in frustration, slapping the glass wall of the jar with her palm. Far away in a silver sky, the sun was just beginning to rise, the stars ever so slowly winking away.

"I've never had such an _exasperating _dream," she grumbled.

"As fond of talking to yourself as ever, I see."

Alice shrieked in surprise, spinning about so quickly she fell down straight on her backside. Looking up, her heart gave a great, frightened jolt and her eyes grew wide with astonishment. Hovering just above the mouth of her marmalade jar was what appeared to be a crescent moon fallen down to earth….an enormous, floating sliver of brightest white….but after gazing curiously at it an instant longer, Alice realized that it was a smiling mouth, a double row of pointed teeth, laced together and grinning madly. Her chest still throbbing, she swallowed thickly and climbed back to her feet.

"H-hello?" she asked uncertainly.

The enormous mouth opened and spoke, never once losing its toothy smile. Its voice was also somehow familiar to her, though very different from the one that had been invading her thoughts.

"What's this? Quivering with fear? It's not like you at all, Alice."

_It knows my name? _she thought, then clucked her tongue at her own silliness. _Of course it does, it is __**my**__ dream._

"I'm not afraid," she answered. "You only startled me."

"Of course, of course," the smiling mouth answered in a velvety tone. As Alice watched it, two pools of iridescent light began clouding together above it and had soon formed a pair of large, gleaming, pearl-round eyes, the pupils vertical slits dividing the opalescent orbs. Alice swallowed again.

"If I may be so bold as to inquire," the face asked with almost sinister politeness, "What are you doing in the middle of the sea in a marmalade jar? Surely there are more convenient modes of travel."

"It was a bit of an accident," Alice replied sheepishly.

"I see," the face crooned. Another waft of mist, this time a swirl of pinks and blues, was coming together to form a nose, a pair of pointed ears, and furry whiskers. _Of course, it was a cat._

Alice narrowed her eyes indignantly. "I might ask you a similar question, you know. What are _you _doing here?"

"Looking for you, silly girl," said the cat, for it was now completely a cat---or rather, _almost _completely, for it was only the floating head of a cat. "Good thing, too----heaven knows what beastly, fangsome fish might have come along and swallowed a little bug like you right up, had I not found you in time."

"That's all very well," Alice remarked. "But what good is your having found me, if we're both lost at sea?"

The cat clucked it's rough, pink tongue. "So little faith! You've not changed a wink. Hold tight to yourself, small Alice."

And then, before she could speak another word, Alice was knocked flat to the floor of the jar as the whole vessel was abruptly yanked up and out of the water. She let out a small cry, falling to her face and gazing down through the glass bottom at the swiftly shrinking waves. Looking up, she saw two great furry legs and a pair of monstrous paws wrapped tight round the mouth of the jar as the great smiling cat held her aloft, flying like a wingless bird through the air. After a few breathless moments, Alice regained her bearings enough to rise to her feet and press her hands against the glass wall, peering through at the world below her. To the horizon, the sun was now swiftly rising and dabbing the Eastern sky with pink. Far beyond them, but growing closer every second, was land, a wild green country stretching after a winding line of sandy beach.

_Perhaps it's India? _Alice hoped, _and I'll soon be awake in the bungalow again._

"Mr. Cat," she called, raising her voice over the rush of wind as they flew, "Where is it we're going?"

"Home, silly," the cat answered shortly, his smile never once failing.

_Hm. Doubt that I'll get much of use out of this fellow, _thought Alice. Still, she could not help another question.

"How is it you knew where to find me, Mr. Cat?" she asked.

"Why so stiff, small Alice?" the cat grinned down at her, ignoring her question. "Do forego the formality and call me by name."

"But I don't know your name," she replied.

At that, the cat's ear-to-ear smile flickered. Looking suddenly strange without his gaudy grin, they came to an abrupt halt in midair, and he twisted the jar so as to peer one great eye straight in at her. He looked quizzically curious.

"Don't know it?" he crooned. "Just what are you at? Are you playing a game with me?"

"I assure you I'm not," she answered, becoming a bit irritated with his coyness. "If you would tell me your name, I'd be glad to oblige you."

The cat watched her a moment longer, then smiled broadly again.

"I see. Dear me….this is most bothersome, isn't it? I was hoping things might go a bit easier this time. Poor Tarrant isn't going to like this one bit, not to mention----but, no matter. You'll catch up soon enough, I suppose. Allow me to _re_introduce myself…..Cheshire's the name."

Alice pursed her mouth, but cut a small curtsy out of sheer habit. "Pleasure to meet you Mr. Cheshire."

The cat sighed heavily as they began to fly forward again. "I can see this is going to be a tiresome ordeal."

Alice shook her head, chalking off his mystical ramblings to nonsense. How she _did _wish to wake up!

"How I _do _wish I'd wake up," she grumbled her thoughts under her breath. She thought she saw Cheshire turn an eye in her direction and shake his head once or twice, but she wasn't quite sure….he seemed to have a way of moving about without really moving at all.

In a matter of minutes, they had left the vast endlessness of the sea of tears behind, and were at last looking down over solid ground. Cheshire, as he called himself, lowered Alice's marmalade jar down until the bottom of it touched the wet sand of the shoreline. With one paw he carelessly tipped it on its side, ignored her small _oof _as she fell to her stomach against the floor, tossing a glare in his direction.

"Right then," he muttered drolly, catching her off guard as his body suddenly evaporated, and he was once again a floating head. "I must be off. Best of luck with the race."

Alice's eyes widened. She quickly climbed to her feet and hurried through the mouth of the jar onto the sand, which she sank only very little into, because of her diminutive size.

"Wait!" she cried out to him as he began to ascend. "Mr. Cheshire! You mean you're going to leave me here?"

"Tsk tsk, such little gratitude!" the grinning cat mewed. "I brought you to the shore, didn't I? Would you prefer to have been left as a tidbit for the gulls?"

"Please, I'm _very_ grateful, but I've no idea where to go from here!"

Cheshire shook his head, and as he did bits of it turned to colored dust and drifted away, until there was nothing left but his eyes and his smiling teeth.

"Well, if all of this is only a dream, then what does it matter? You can't expect me to play nanny all day. But if you want my advice, I would go towards the race. It's the quickest way for you to get dry. Until we meet again, small Alice….perhaps by then, you'll be the right size. Ta ta."

"_Wait!" _Alice pleaded, but it was too late….what remained of Cheshire's face had already vanished in thin air. Alice let her arms fall to her sides, defeated.

"_The race?" Whatever did he mean by that?_

Alice looked up and down the beach in both directions, but she could see nothing except sand and ocean, and beyond the beach the enormous trunks of a dim forest.

Sighing, she lifted her skirts in her hands and set off at a weary trudge towards the forest.

A/N; There you are, on dry land at last! I promise the next chapter will be longer….please leave a review!! I'm a junkie and I need my fix!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N; Thank you, thank you, thank you for the wonderful reviews! I really appreciate it. I hope all of you are enjoying the story so far. This chapter is longer than the last one, but not quite as long as I'd hoped….still, I decided to post what I had finished rather than delay the update another day. Read and tell me what you think!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs ( belonged? ) to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 3_

It was just when she had made her way to the very end of the shore---where the sand began giving way to spurts and patches of brambles and tall grass, and the sun had quite come up above the sea and was shining pale and golden, and the sky had grown most sharp and blue---that Alice quickly realized she was not alone.

The first creature that caught her eye was a golden field mouse nearly the size of a sow. It was scurrying across the sand at a speed much swifter than her own, and seemed to be headed in much the same direction. No sooner had the field mouse passed by on her right than another came scuttling round her left to join it, and after that a whole trail of baby field mice went hurrying after, one of them darting twixt her legs and nearly knocking her down.

"Mind, now!" Alice called to it as she wobbled, the way one might scold a dog without thinking. Great was her surprise----though only for an instant, for she quickly remembered that in a dream, nothing is _too_ extraordinary, and she had after all just been left by an enormous talking cat with the power to smile and disappear at will----when one of the tiny mouse babes turned round and answered back to her in a funny little squeak, "Pardon, ma'am!"

"Curiouser and curiouser," Alice mumbled to herself….the instant the words left her mouth, she was struck with mind-boggling deja-vu so intense she actually stopped dead in her tracks.

It was then that she saw there were all sorts of animals flocking toward the same little strip of grass at the edge of the wood where she had been headed. There were mice, hedgehogs, voles, squirrels ( the size of Clydesdales, they were! ), rats, little turtles, and all manner of birds flitting down to hop along on the ground….sparrows, chickadees, blackbirds, bluebirds, yellow finches, swallows, starlings, and cardinals….they were all coming together in a great circle around a boulder that sat half-sunken in the earth, just a stone's throw off from where the trees began.

Slightly breathless, and sandy from her feet to her knees, Alice came to the edge of the queer circle of creatures just in time to see a monstrous bird unlike any bird she'd ever seen hopping up to perch upon the boulder, shuffling its clumsy feet, searching for a grip. It was a dodo bird! It had a bulbous hooked beak and a stout, swan-shaped neck atop a roly body, all covered in bright blue and green feathers. On its back was a satin waistcoat, and over its eyes rested a little pair of round spectacles. As soon as it found a steady purchase on the boulder, it raised its head and cleared its throat loudly, as if it were going to orate.

"Ahem….sit down, all of you, and listen to me!" the Dodo called out. All of the mice, birds, and other creatures stopped their chattering and turned to attention. Alice, looking curiously round her, found that each of the animals was either shivering or shaking itself, licking its paws or preening at its down, and each appeared to be dripping wet. A little starling on her left shook itself suddenly and showered her with water droplets, reminding Alice how cold and clammy she was feeling herself, still clad in her damp and clinging nightgown.

"Now, what was I going to say?" the Dodo continued, talking largely to itself, "….ah, yes, of course! What I was going to say was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race."

Alice's ears perked up. _Race?_

"Hear, hear!" came the rallying cry from the animals. Alice leaned toward a hedgehog at her right, his spines dewy with water beads.

"What is a Caucus-race?" she whispered to it, but it paid her no attention; all of the creatures were busily chattering and agreeing with one another, and none of them seemed to notice her at all.

"A race, a race!" they cried. "That shall get us dry."

"But what _is _a Caucus-race?" begged poor Alice. _What dreadful manners these animals have! _she thought. _Next time I shall have to dream up something more polite._

"Yes, yes, then we're all organized!" said the Dodo. "Alright then….on your mark….get ready….!"

"Wait!" shouted Alice. "I'm not---!"

"_Go!" _the Dodo squawked.

All at once the animals began to run. Not knowing what else to do, Alice immediately set off after them, hurrying along as swiftly as she could for fear of being trampled if she held still. There was a terrible ruckus of squeaking and squawking all about her as beast and bird alike tumbled about in an awkward procession, each scurrying and hopping in a mad dash about the boulder. In the center, the Dodo waved his stumpy wings in orchestrating movements, turning about in circles on his mock pulpit. Bit of sand and pebble flew in Alice's face, her mouth filling with dust if she dared open it a crack. She coughed and sputtered, stumbling and nearly falling, but just managing to keep her bare feet in the ridiculous melee of paws and talons and claws. Only after a full minute of this frantic running did Alice realize that the entire group was moving in one continuous circle just around the perimeter of the boulder.

"This is _ridiculous!" _she gasped aloud.

"No, it's a _Caucus," _the Dodo corrected without turning his head, his wings waving directions to the wild brigade.

"But what's the good of a race where everyone runs round in circles??"

"What's the good of a circle if there's no one to race round it?" retorted a vole as it lapped her.

Alice grimaced and spat out a mouthful of sand. "Please, let me get out!"

"There's no getting out 'til the race has been run!"

"But how do we know when it's _over?"_

"Well, if you don't know, then how should _I?" _the Dodo replied.

_I've had about enough of this! _thought Alice, and taking a deep breath, she shut her eyes and made a wild jump at freedom. She was almost clear of the ring of runners when she felt her foot catch on the skinny leg of a cardinal, and she went tumbling to the ground…the bird collapsed on it's face behind her, and the family of mice in turn tripped over him, and so it went one after another until the entire procession lay tangled and jumbled all over each other in a perfect circle. At last the Dodo stopped his gesturing and turned to look at the source of the crash.

"Hear, now!" he called angrily. "What's the holdup? The race isn't over!"

"For goodness _sake!" _cried Alice, groaning as she wrestled to extricate herself from the pile of creatures, finally wrenching herself free of them and falling down in a patch of grass. She shakily rose to her feet, coughing and brushing sand from her clothes. Her long blonde hair was hopelessly tangled, and great clouds of dirt burst from it with every shake of her head. "Why _anyone _would want to get dry this way----"

"Wait!" the Dodo suddenly shouted, and the whole of the mumbling party was silenced. Alice looked up, surprised by the sudden quiet, and saw the big blue bird staring disbelievingly down at her. Her outrage evaporated and was replaced by an awkward self-consciousness, made only the worse when the Dodo clumsily fell down from the rock and broke through the ring of creatures to stand towering above her. He blinked his beady black eyes over and over, adjusting his spectacles with the tips of his primary feathers. Alice leaned back uneasily, gazing up at his large hooked beak.

_It's only a dream, Alice…..only a dream, only a dream…..it's only a----_

"Alice!?" the Dodo, without warning, squawked her name so loudly that the burst of air from his mouth blew back the loose tendrils of her hair. Alice timidly opened her eyes, her body rigid and her shoulders taut.

"Yes?" she squeaked.

The Dodo gazed at her, flabbergasted. "But…but is it _you? _Is it _Alice, _Alice?"

Alice blinked. "Well….I'm the only Alice I know."

The bird let out another piercing gargle, tossing its head back and flapping its little wings wildly.

"It _is _you, I recognize that warble! But whatever are you doing here? Has Her Majesty sent for you? Did Thackery come to call again? Have you come to fulfill a great destiny? Speak up, speak up! What's brought you back again? Good heavens….are we in _danger?_"

Alice only stared with her mouth slightly open. _Destiny? Danger? What in the world was a Thackery?_

"I came here in a marmalade jar," was all she could think of to say.

The Dodo stroked the underside of his beak. "A marmalade jar, you say…..sounds serious to me. Are you certain Her Majesty hasn't summoned you? I can't imagine why else you'd be here."

"I….I'm afraid I don't know who you mean," Alice replied.

"Why, not _know_ the White Queen?" gasped the Dodo. "Such _treason! _Such _blasphemy! _Surely this ignorance can't go unpunished! I must have you brought to Her Majesty at once and slated for a sensible sentencing!"

"Sentencing? But…but I---!"

"Tut tut, be still now, traitor Alice!" the Dodo chirped happily, turning to the arraignment of animals who were just climbing back to their feet after the mishap of the Caucus-race. "Now, who among us is able and willing to deliver to prisoner to the palace? Speak up! Speak up, or I'll have us run races to determine the champion!"

Immediately the animals began to murmur and stir uneasily; it was clear none of them fancied a second round of the arduous running. After a moment's deliberation they pushed forward none other than the poor cardinal who had been first to trip over Alice's foot.

"Him!" cried the mob. "He shall take her!"

"You!" Dodo squawked. "Good red-wing! Fly the little traitor on your back to the White Queen's castle at once, and mind you not to let her fall! It shall be all of our heads if the criminal escapes."

Alice blinked. Everything was happening too fast. What sort of madness had she gotten herself into?

Timidly, the little cardinal hopped toward her, its back standing almost four feet high. It turned an uncertain eye in her direction.

"You'd better climb on, Sir Alice," it muttered under its breath, "…or this will go on all day."

Alice sighed, tossing her hands in the air. "Well, wherever you're going to take me, it certainly can't be any worse than listening to _this_!"

_Why not? If I can fly on a cat, I can certainly fly on a bird._

"Huzzah!" cried the Dodo. "Then the matter is settled. Off you go! Farewell to you, traitor Alice, and a happy beheading!"

All of the creatures cheered merrily as Alice swung her leg round and shifted her weight cautiously onto the Cardinal's back. His feathers were smooth and slippery, and her legs fit snugly in the small grooves beneath the down of his wing joints. She clutched her arms tightly round his satiny neck, and with a few fluttering beats of his wings his feet leapt up and tucked under him, and the ground shrank away at such a frightening speed that Alice gasped and buried her face in the red spike of his feathery crown. For a long minute there was nothing but rushing wind all around them, and Alice was too afraid to lift her eyes.

"It's alright, now," the Cardinal suddenly spoke. He had a nice, calm, sturdy little voice. "We're away from the nitwits."

Slowly, ever so slowly, Alice raised her head. The moment she ventured to peer down past the Cardinal's rapidly fluttering wings, she gasped sharply, her breath instantly stolen away. They were soaring miles high above the ground, tufts of white cloud passing underneath them, the whole of the rich green forest spread out in every direction for acres and acres. The sun was beaming brightly all around them, the sky now swathed with the soft peaches and blues of mid-morning.

"Ease off a bit!" chirped the Cardinal. "I hardly can breathe!"

"Oh…I'm sorry," Alice apologized, loosening her vice-grip on the bird's neck. After another few moments of smooth flight, she felt brave enough to sit up a tiny bit straighter, but she still kept her fingers fisted tightly in the soft, crimson down.

"You needn't mind a single word that dum-dum said, by the way," the Cardinal spoke presently, as they were just coming to end of the dense forest and flying along over what looked like great hilly fields of green grass speckled with shrubbery and other bright-colored shapes Alice couldn't recognize.

"What dum-dum?" she parroted blankly, distracted by the fantastical landscape wheeling far beneath her bare toes.

"The Dodo bird. He doesn't know a word of what he says. He's one of the biggest numbskulls in Underland."

_Underland._

Alice's eyes shot wide open. The wind whipped her long hair in a fanning flag behind her face. She sat stock upright and stared straight ahead of her, unblinking, at the vast, spreading world, without seeing a bit of it.

_Underland._

_**Underland.**_

_**Un--der--land.**_

"_Underland_," she whispered, as if uttering a dangerous secret she had been keeping inside for longer than she could remember.

"What's that?" Cardinal chirped brightly.

Alice blinked and shook herself. _What __**was**__ that? That word? Why had she suddenly felt so….so…._

But the feeling had come and gone so fast, she had already forgotten what it was she had felt. She shivered once, leaning a little closer to the Cardinal's head.

"Then….then that means I'm not really a traitor?" she asked.

"Traitor!" the Cardinal shrieked with laughter. "If you'll pardon me, Sir, I'm nothing but a poor little peasant from the countryside, less than a half-mile away from the bloody _Outlands, _and even _I _and all my brothers and sisters know who you are….and you're no _traitor."_

"Then the White Queen isn't going to sentence me to a beheading?"

The Cardinal laughed again, his back bobbing up and down. "It's as I said, Sir Alice," the bird repeated, "The Dodo is a downright _nimrod. _Don't listen to a blessed thing he says. He's still thinking of the horrid Red Queen, and I certainly don't have to tell you that there's no worrying about her anymore, bloody old Bighead."

Alice pursed her mouth. Of course she had no idea what the dear bird was talking about, but just then it seemed better not to bother him with questions. She guessed she'd find out soon enough once they reached the White Queen's palace, or wherever it was they were supposedly going.

"To tell you the truth, Sir Alice, I was quite startled to see you there on the beach. I mean, all the stories….I've grown up with them since I was a budgie….and then, to see _you_ there, in the middle of a silly Dodo's Caucus-race! A shock indeed, Sir Alice."

"_Small _Alice, _traitor _Alice, _sir _Alice," she muttered, shaking her head. "Why _do _you dream-creatures have all these funny names for me?"

The Cardinal cocked one eye back to look at her, a confused gleam in his shiny black gaze.

"Funny----? Oh, no, I haven't insulted you, have I? I only thought you'd like to be called by your proper title! Do forgive me Si----er, I mean…..what would you _like _to be called, ma'am?"

Alice narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "My _proper title?"_

"Well, yes, since you were knighted by the White Queen, I assumed you went by _Sir _Alice, as all the stories say you do. But if that isn't so---"

"Knighted?" she laughed aloud. "Such a _curious _dream this is! I do hope I'll remember it when I wake up."

The Cardinal gave her another puzzled look, stranger than the last, but continued flying onward without another remark. For almost a quarter of an hour, they soared on in silence. Then….

"There!" the Cardinal cried suddenly, rousing her from her dazed staring at the passing earth below. "Straight ahead, Sir."

Alice looked up and lost her breath again. It seemed to have appeared out of nowhere; one moment, there was nothing but mist and mountains on the horizon, and the next, there it was. It couldn't have been less than a mile away, yet its towers reached high into the clouds….it shone in the morning sun like an iridescent pearl, gleaming whiter than any white she'd ever seen.

"That's…..the White Queen's castle?" she asked, her mouth half agape at the mesmerizing, glittering shape in the distance.

"That's it, Sir," Cardinal assured. "Barring bad winds, we should be there in just a few----"

"_TTTSSSSSHHHHIIIIIEERRRAAAWWK!"_

"_Aaaaaaah!"_

It was as if the world had been struck by a comet and was sent spinning wildly through space. The ground was whirling madly, first beneath her feet, then high above her head, then left and right on every side and back again. The darling Cardinal was caught in a plummeting dive, spinning round and round as he fell down toward the earth.

"_Cardinal!" _Alice cried, struggling to lift her voice above the whistling scream of the wind as it rushed past them. Her hands were clenched white with terror in his feathers, her legs flailing behind as she was scarcely able to keep her seat on his back.

"_Hold on!" _he shouted, struggling fervently to right himself in the air. Alice squeezed her eyes shut, her heart palpitating in her mouth.

_Wake up, wake up, wake up!! _she silently screamed.

Finally, the universe stopped spinning. With one great burst of effort, the Cardinal spread his wings wide and held them open against the tremendous rush of air resistance….his whole body trembled, shook as if he were being throttled…but at last, the world righted and they were again flying forward in a straight course.

Gasping for breath and pale with shock, Alice opened her eyes and looked about.

"What _was that?" _she shuddered, tossing her head wildly in every direction.

_That shriek….that horrible, blood-curdling shriek! Where had it come from? It had almost sounded like….like…._

"THE JUBJUB BIRD!"

"The _what? _CardinaaaAAA_AAAALL_!" Alice's words broke off into a shriek of terror as the Cardinal folded his wings back and dove straight down, just as a terrific gust of wind burst above them and rushed past. Alice lifted her head to see what enormous thing could have caused such a gale at this altitude….and suddenly there it was. Her eyes widened in her head….her lips parted in a disbelieving gasp.

"The Jubjub Bird, the _Jubjub Bird, the JUBJUB BIRD!" _Cardinal was sobbing the words over and over again, his wings flapping madly as he darted this way and that, out of his head for fear. It was all Alice could do to keep herself from flying off his slippery back.

The Jubjub Bird was enormous. Positively monstrous. It would have been large even if Alice had been her _normal _size….as titchy as she was now, it was a beast so great it seemed to blot out the sun. Alice gazed back at it in horror as it turned a great loop through the sky, its vulture-like wings spread wide and it's glistening scissor of a beak gnashing furiously. Its talons unhooked and outstretched, it let out another ear-piercing scream as it dove down towards them, a dark shadow descended upon them from above.

"Cardinal! We've got to get out of the sky!"

"TTTSSSSHHIIIIIERAWK!"

"It's coming, _it's coming!" _the Cardinal jabbered senselessly. "The Jubjub, the terrible Jubjub!"

"Cardinal, _please!" _Alice begged, watching in terror as the winged beast drew closer and closer. Its claws flashed in the sun, its fiery eyes burned bright and terrible. It was seconds away from dashing them to pieces, snatching them straight from the air….

Alice squeezed her eyes shut, covered her head with her arms, and screamed.

"_WAKE UP!"_

"_TTTTSSSHHHIIEEEEERAAAWWK!"_

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"_Sir Alice!" _the Cardinal's voice sounded from far, far away, and growing farther by the instant.

Alice thrashed her arms about and felt….nothing. Her legs flailed wildly, but couldn't find the little's birds sides. She groped desperately all about her, but she couldn't reach the Cardinal's neck, nor find any trace of his soft feathers beneath her fingertips. Wind was rushing all around her, deafeningly loud….she fought to crack her eyes, and the moment they were open they filled with tears, the whistling, stinging wind biting fiercely and making them water. Far away, she could just make out a great dark spot far above her, a black mark that was shrinking smaller and smaller with each passing second. It was the Jubjub Bird, still circling high in the sky. The dear little Cardinal was nowhere to be seen.

She was falling.

A/N; Oh no, a cliffhanger! And still no Tarrant! But rest easy dear readers, all shall be resolved. And I promise we'll see some Hatter action at least within the next two chapters. Thanks for reading/reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N; Whew! Another chapter finished----and finally, this one has some length to it! I'll come straight out and tell you now, just so no one's disappointed….Hatter has still yet to make an actual appearance. I _promise _I'm not stringing you along on purpose….and I also make the _solemn_ promise that Chapter 5 will be chock full of so much Hattery goodness, it'll more than make up for these four staves without him ( or it'll die trying, yargh! ). As many of you have most perceptively noticed, I've been trying to incorporate some lesser known events of both the Disney adaptation and the original novel, things that tend to be forgotten in most AIW interpretations ( the Caucus race, the sea of tears, etc. )----after this chapter though, that's probably going to change. Keep up the reviews, you're all doing great! Enjoy chapter 4!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs ( belonged? ) to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 4_

Alice opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She spun around and around, her hair blown straight back from her head, her nightgown whipped so sharply it pained her as it slapped her legs. Tumbling, tumbling, down, down, down.

_This is it, _thought Alice, her heart hammering madly in her chest. _This __**must **__be it. I __**have **__to wake up now, I have to, I __**have to**__…._

"_Wake up," _she mouthed silently, squeezing her eyes shut against the wind and the dizzying sway of the turning world. The ground was rushing up at her with terrible speed, the treetops growing steadily larger and larger, closer and closer….

_Please wake up Alice…..please wake up…._

_**Beware the Jabberwock, my son!**_

_**The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!**_

_**Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun**_

_**The frumious Bandersnatch!**_

The _voice._

Alice's eyes shot open, just in time to see a flash of all-consuming green come rushing at her face. One word that the voice had spoken seared across her mind brighter than all the others, burning as if it were written in hot coals. It burned so deep, she actually forgot for a split second that she was falling out of the sky, and turned inward to gaze at it incredulously.

"_Jabberwock?" _she gasped, her voice all but inaudible, a breath lost on the wind.

Then, her vision was filled with green.

_THWISH!_

As quickly as the green had appeared, it was gone. She felt something brush by her body, so fast it was almost instantaneous, and she could scarcely be sure she'd felt anything at all….but then, before she could think, it struck her again. Green, green, flashes of green, brushes of green everywhere! She was falling _through _them, they were all around her.

_THWISH! THWISH! TWISH!_

They were leaves. She was falling through the canopy of the trees, striking leaf after leaf after leaf, each one slowing her descent in miniscule increments as she smacked and slipped past them. How long could she fall before she inevitably hit and killed herself against a branch?

But, miraculously, the death-dealing blow never came. In a few gasping seconds, the leaves were gone, and she was falling once again through clear air, the ground visible and flying towards her. She only just had time to fleetingly glimpse that she appeared to be falling toward a round, foreign red shape before she shut her eyes tight, preparing for the flattening, careening impact that would most certainly be the end of her…..and then….

_THWUMP!_

Alice felt her body press hard, deep, and fast into something shockingly thick and rubbery; there was a burst of reddish orange dust that coated her completely, puffed in a great cloud all around her….then, in the blink of an eye, she felt nothing, and her limbs were flailing through thin air again. Blinking and sputtering, she opened her eyes and saw that she was now sailing _upward, _the ground and its enormous blades of grass sinking away from her. She reached the peak of her ascent, seemed to hang suspended in mid air for an unbearably long fraction of a second, and then gravity again began pulling her down, down.

_Thwump!_

She yelped sharply as she struck the rubbery surface a second time, a bit more softly, and was enveloped in a second burst of the strange orange dust….she then flew upward again, but more slowly and to a far lesser height….and after the third bounce, she flew not straight into the air, but off and away to the side in a shallow little arc. With a final tumbling _thump, _she found herself rolling to a stop, unharmed, in the lush green grass.

For one perfectly silent moment, she lay there on her side, her eyes wide and staring, her breath rushing in and out. Her heart was pounding to beat the band.

High above, birds were chattering to each other. The canopy seemed miles away….the trunks of the trees surrounding her were thicker than the thickest redwoods she'd seen in her picture books as a girl. The blades of grass towered above her; an ant the size of her fist went scuttling past her. She paused to look at it for a moment, and it noticed her…it halted its many steps long enough to tip its hat---for it was indeed _wearing _a hat---to her before hurrying on.

Still terribly dazed, but gradually beginning to regain herself, Alice slowly sat up.

There in front of her, standing fifteen feet high and twice as big around, was the natural trampoline that had saved her life---it was a tremendous mushroom, the cap as red as strawberries and marked all over with orange speckles, the stem fat and milky white. All around the mushroom, a cloud of its orange spore dust hung floating in the air, illuminated by the thin beams of sunlight peering through the trees. Blinking once, Alice looked down at her hands and made a face. She was coated from head to toe in the same dust; it clung to her nightgown, her fingers, her feet….she blinked and it fell from her eyelashes. Her hair must have been quite the sight.

"Although," she sighed, dusting her hands and sending a great plume of spores up into her face, "I suppose I ought to count myself lu….lu…._lu…._ccckkCHOO!" she threw her head back and sneezed violently before she could finish the word, an explosion of dust billowing up all around her.

Alice sniffed and rubbed her nose, coughing once or twice. She grimaced and clucked her tongue, sucking her teeth…some of the beastly stuff had even gotten inside her mouth.

"Tastes like…._buttered toast_?" she remarked curiously to herself.

_Well, there have been stranger things today….._

A moment later, when the ground had finally stopped spinning beneath her, Alice ventured to climb to her feet. The grass was so tall that she could scarcely see anything beyond it….she certainly had no idea which direction to go in.

"Though I wonder if it matters?" she muttered, looking back and forth. Every path and opening through the grass looked the same. Shrugging, she set off walking toward the first hollow she turned to, just to the right of the great red mushroom.

How far from the White Queen's castle had they been when the Jubjub bird attacked, and she had fallen? And the moment she remembered the castle and the Jubjub, her thoughts turned to her friend the Cardinal.

"Oh, but the poor, dear thing!" she cried sadly. "I _do _hope he got away. Even if he isn't real, he was rather lovely…..I should be very upset if he were dead. Perhaps he saw where I fell and followed me? If I could only look through the forest…."

But just at that moment, Alice realized with a startling surprise that she _could _see the forest….or at any rate, she could see more of it than she had been able to a moment ago. In fact, she could see clear over the top of the grass.

_How lucky! _she thought. _I must have only fallen into a particularly tall patch….perhaps it gets even shorter further on._

As she took a few steps further, Alice saw that the grass did indeed continue to thin and grow shorter….in fact, after another five paces she could see quite clearly round her in every direction, and the blades reached no further than her knees. Delighted, she stopped and turned in a circle to reassess her position and decide where to go. The moment she looked behind her, however, her brow knit with confusion.

_The mushroom, _she thought, gazing strangely at it…._Wasn't it much bigger than that?_

Puzzled, she took a few steps back toward it. Yes….she was positive it had been larger only a moment ago….it had towered above her, and now her head nearly reached the cap! Then, as she stared at it, Alice realized that it was getting _smaller still _as she looked at it. There was no mistaking it…..she could see straight over the top of the cap now, clear to the other side! And it was shrinking further still, and faster….now it was no bigger than a picnic table!

"What in the world?" Alice wondered aloud….when all of a sudden, she felt a sharp pull on the sleeves of her nightgown. "Ouch! What was….?" she looked down, and her eyes grew wide. The hem of her white, billowy, nightdress, which seconds ago had reached all the way down to her ankles, now fell scarcely past her knees. The sleeves were shorter as well, nearly up to her elbows, and more than a pinch too tight….they squeezed her arms and constricted her shoulders. The whole thing was growing shorter and snugger by the instant.

The mushroom, the grass, the gown…..they weren't shrinking at all. _She _was_ growing!_

Alice was shooting up like a weed, faster and faster with each passing moment. Before she knew what was happening, her nightgown was so tight she could scarcely breathe in it. The grass only tickled at her ankles, and the mushroom she had bounced off of sat squat and round at her feet, no bigger than a dinner plate.

_What shall I do? _she thought, panic beginning to seize her. _If I grow any bigger, I'll be suffocated!_

But even as the thought crossed her mind, the nightgown stopped tightening and the world ceased it's shrinking. She looked about her cautiously. Yes….she had stopped growing, just in time. But the nightgown was so uncomfortably small she could hardly move in it…the skirt rose halfway up her thigh, and the seams were stretched near to bursting.

"Oh, dear," Alice murmured, turning in a circle and inspecting herself all over. "This _is_ inconvenient. However will I bend over? Maybe I should…."

"Mary Ann! _There _you are! What do you think you're doing out here?" a voice suddenly cried out nearby, interrupting her. Jumping slightly, Alice whirled around to see who it had come from.

There, hurrying towards her through the trees, with animpatient scowl on its furry face, was a white rabbit as tall as her waist. He was bounding along on all fours through the grass, but as he drew near to her he rose onto his hind legs, brushing himself off and straightening his waistcoat.

Alice blinked. His _waistcoat?_

"Mary Ann, what _have _you gotten all over yourself?" the rabbit demanded with a small flare of disgust, eyeing her from head to toe. He produced a little handkerchief from his breast pocket and held it over his whiskery nose.

Alice looked down at herself, blushing darkly at the sad state of her dress, and tried unsuccessfully to brush some of the staining orange dust from her arms.

"I…I….the Cardinal, and….I was falling, and the mushroom---"

The white rabbit shook his head exasperatedly, pulling a golden pocket watch from his waistcoat and checking the time. He cringed in horror and quickly stuffed it away again.

"Well, it doesn't matter now! I've a _dastardly _important date at Her Majesty's palace at three o'clock, and if I'm late it shall be your head, my dear."

_Again with my head, _Alice thought grudgingly. _Can these creatures think of nothing else? But wait….."Her Majesty's palace?" Could he mean the White Queen's castle? Yes, he must! Perhaps I'm not so far from it after all, then!_

"Now, quickly," the rabbit ordered, "…run home this moment and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan. Mallymkun and Thackery will be there to meet me any moment. And clean yourself up, for goodness sake….Bill will be round to inspect the chimney this afternoon, and I won't have you receiving him in such a state! _Go, _lazy lout,off with you!"

Not knowing what else to do, and finding herself terribly flustered, Alice obediently hurried off in the direction that the white rabbit had pointed. Her cheeks flushed red as she stumbled through the shrubbery, her long hair catching on the twiggy branches and the strained sides of her nightgown threatening to split right open with every step.

"I say," she remarked to herself with no small amazement, "I do believe he's mistaken me for his housemaid! How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am. But I'd better take him his fan and gloves….that is, if I can find them. Running errands for rabbits in waistcoats….whatever _will _I be doing next?…….but then….he did say _Thackery, _didn't he? Perhaps that's the same fellow the Dodo was talking about."

After another moment of walking, Alice found herself tripping out of the underbrush onto a clean, well kept garden path that led out onto a road on her right, and just beyond it on her left there sat the most charming little house she had ever seen, all white shutters and bright blue trim. As she came up to it through the garden, she saw there was a large brass knocker on the front door, and engraved on it were the words _W. Rabbit, Nivens McTwisp._ Turning the quaint little brass knob, Alice cautiously opened the door and stuck her head inside.

"Hello?" she called, stepping in and looking about her. There was no answer, so she let herself in and shut the door behind her, careful to track as little of the orange mushroom dust as she could on the clean floor. She was standing in a little parlor filled with armchairs and lamp tables, and there was a staircase immediately on the left.

"I suppose I'd better hurry upstairs and find his things," she reasoned, "…just in case I should run into the _real _Mary Ann."

Upstairs, there were only three rooms stuck together with a little hallway; one was a washroom, the other a tiny ladies' bedroom with a bureau and lace comforter ( Mary Ann's quarters, undoubtedly ) and the third a master bedroom with a canopied four-poster.

"That _has _to be Mr. McTwisp's chamber." Just as she was about to go inside, however, a great cloud of mushroom dust fell from her shoulder and discolored a lovely jar of white tea roses sitting on a side table, and she stopped. Perhaps it would be better to wash and change first, lest she should dirty any more of the rabbit's things…or worse, ruin the fan and gloves she was meant to take him and upset him further. So, carefully looking about to make sure there was no one there, Alice let herself into Mary Ann's bedroom and shut the door.

By an extreme stroke of luck, Mary Ann must have had her clothes for the following day already laid out, for spread over the bed was a dark, midnight blue dress with a great blooming skirt and cream-colored pinafore apron, along with underclothes and a long pair of striped stockings.

_Such an odd uniform, for a maid! I do hate to take it without permission, but….I certainly can't go about half dressed and staining everything orange, now, can I? _Directly after the thought crossed her mind, Alice chided herself for being so silly as to worry about offending the inhabitants of her own dream. _How childish I'm being! _Nevertheless, she carefully gathered up the clothes and let herself through an adjoining door into the little washroom. As she passed it by, she noticed that among other trinkets there was a little oval-shaped picture frame sitting atop the bureau, and in it was a small portrait of a dour-looking, stern faced girl with bright red hair pulled in a bun behind her head.

_Then that must be Mary Ann, _thought Alice, and just as she thought so she looked into the looking-glass above the bureau and caught a glimpse of her reflection for the first time since she'd fallen into this mad dream. She _was _a sight….her face all blotched and discolored with the mushroom powder, and her blonde hair so thick with the stuff it was painted as orange as a carrot.

"So _that's _how he took me for his maid," she muttered. "Suppose I can't blame him….I certainly don't look like myself. And at least that means _he _won't be making a silly pet name for me."

In the washroom she found a basin full of clean water, a little green bar of soap and a nice pile of fluffy pink towels. In fifteen minutes, she had washed away as much of the spore dust as she could, toweled her hair until it hung in damp, curling waves over her shoulders, and slipped into Mary Ann's dress and stockings. Luckily, she had grown to almost the perfect size for them….the skirt was a bit short, hanging only a few inches below the knee, but it was indeed a vast improvement from her ruined nightdress.

_And now, _she thought, venturing back into the white rabbit's bedroom, _to find those gloves._

Luckily for Alice, she had not far to look---glancing once about the small chamber, she saw sitting near the window a little side table, and on top of it a folded fan and a little red box, and in the box were three pairs of folded white kid gloves. Eagerly she snatched them up, and was just ready to go and hurry back downstairs---_Mr. McTwisp was likely in an outrage over her taking so long to fetch his things---_when suddenly something else on the little side table caught her eye, something that she was sure hadn't been there the first time she looked. Turning back, she saw that it was a little white, square cake sitting neatly on a saucer, and across the top in blue icing were written the words _Eat Me._

"'Eat me,'" she read aloud to herself, staring inquisitively at the cake. "How very direct!"

All at once, as if prompted by the sight of the strange morsel, Alice felt a sharp pang of hunger pinching at her stomach.

_That's peculiar….I don't remember ever feeling __**hungry **__in a dream before. _

Without thinking, she reached out to pick up the cake, and was just about to put it to her lips when she abruptly halted. It would be terribly bad manners to eat something that didn't belong to her, wouldn't it?…..not to mention, it seemed like rather poor judgment to eat something she had simply found sitting on a dressing table in the bedroom of the house of a _rabbit_….

She stood there deliberating for a moment longer before looking up, blinking, and all but slapping herself on the forehead for her own silliness.

"Goodness _gracious, _Alice!"she snapped at herself. "How quickly you manage to forget that it's only a _dream! _What does it matter if you eat this or that? It isn't a _real _cake, anyhow."

Defiantly, as if determined to prove her own level headedness to herself, Alice stuffed half the little cake in her mouth at one go, gulping down the sugary mouthful and then quickly swallowing the rest. She then brushed the crumbs from her hand, nodded once, and turned to take the gloves and fan to the White Rabbit.

The instant she was about to pass through the door, however, she stopped.

Alice stared at the wooden frame of the little door, blinking in disbelief. The gloves and fan slipped out of her hands and fell to the floor unnoticed. Her lips parted incredulously.

"You _must _be joking," she muttered beneath her breath to no one. She blinked again, but no matter how many times she did, the sight before her eyes remained the same.

The doorway was _smaller_ than it had been when she came into the room. Before, she hadn't even had to stoop to walk through it……and now, the lintel was well below her chin, and falling lower all the time.

"I've had _just _about enough of this nonsense!" she cried suddenly aloud, surprising herself with her own anger. "Wake up! WAKE UP, this _instant!!"_

Yet scold herself as she might, she did not wake up….and she was growing taller and taller by the second. Now her head nearly touched the ceiling of the rabbit's bedroom. She stooped down onto her knees, but it was no use….no sooner had she crouched down than her shoulders were brushing the rafters. She quickly sat down and leaned back, but she was growing so rapidly now that her arms were pressed against the walls on either side, the squeeze becoming tighter and tighter. She shut her eyes and squirmed uncomfortably as her elbow pushed against the window, and with a burst of pressure…._CRACK! _She could only watch helplessly as the glass shattered and fell to the ground outside, her whole arm slipping through the window and growing so large that it filled the frame, her hand and forearm dangling outside, low enough for her to feel the grass beneath her fingertips. Her head was crowded against the ceiling now, her neck bent most unnaturally downward….one of her legs had long since disappeared through the doorway and was trailing at an awkward angle down the staircase, and the other leg was scrunched up so tightly that her knee dug into her chest and hindered her breathing, while her toes were helplessly stuck in the mouth of the fireplace at the other end of the room. All of the White Rabbit's furniture had been pushed aside and broken, and bits of his bedposts poked painfully into her ribs.

When she had contorted herself in every possible way she could think of and made not the slightest progress, Alice heaved a great sigh of frustration.

_Now I can do no more, whatever happens! What __**will **__become of me?_

Then, just when she was certain she could hear the beams of the ceiling beginning to bow, and the boards of the floor beneath her starting to creak…..she stopped growing. A few icicles of plaster dust fell from above, and the walls gave one last complaining groan, and then all was still. Alice opened her eyes and peered around, entirely unable to move her head. She was _most _uncomfortable.

"Hmph. Serves me right for being a thief..."

_Although, _she admitted grudgingly to herself, _at least Mary Ann's clothes grew with me. I wonder if people are __**always **__changing size in this world? If they are, I suppose it only stands to reason that their clothes must change size as well._

Though small comfort it was to still have the pretty blue dress intact, Alice was nevertheless most unhappy, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her of ever getting the white rabbit his gloves, or of finding her way to the White Queen's castle…..

"His gloves and the castle? I'd consider myself quite blessed if I could ever get out of this _room _again, let alone---"

"Mary _Ann! Mary Ann! _Fetch me my gloves this instant!"

It was the white rabbit! His voice was coming up through the window. If she leaned just so to her right, she might catch a glimpse of him standing outside in the yard. Before she could alert him to her predicament, however, there came two new voices to join his, voices whose owners she could neither see nor identify. The first sounded wild and unkempt, more of a Scottish trumpet blast than a voice….besides which, it was jabbering nothing but nonsensical words to itself.

"Mary Ann, Mary Ann…catch the snikwhip, drorge the band…."

"Forget your stinking gloves, McTwisp, we've got to get to the palace!" The second of the new voices was terrifically small and high pitched, yet filled with a great vigor and sharpness.

"I _shan't _go if I'm not properly dressed! How long does it take to find a pair of gloves? Mary _Ann!"_

"Oh, go and fetch them yourself then, if they're so important! Shall _I_ do it for you?"

"No, no, it's no good, I've tried. The front door's stuck."

_Front door? _Alice wiggled the toes of her left foot and felt a smooth, round little bump that must have been the doorknob.

"Arrum! Arrum! Arrum!" the wild voice began to whoop.

"Be _quiet, _Thackery…..Mallymkun, why did you bring him along??"

"The March Hare's as much a right to come as anyone…._more _of a right than you, he's been worried sick about Tarrant."

"An _arrum _in the window, now Ranty would have liked that! Stuck right there in the shutters, won't nobody _look?"_

Alice heard the white rabbit groan softly.

"Worried about him….how could anyone tell _what _the lunatic's thinking? And what does he keep going on about an ar……_ar…..OH!" _halfway through his sentence, McTwisp began to stutter fearfully, then broke into a dramatic gasp almost as if he were about to faint. "An _arm!" _he cried, and Alice thought she heard the pattering of furry feet. "A great, monstrous _arm! _A monster, a monster in my house!"

"Out of my way!" the high little voice, which must have belonged to the one the white rabbit called Mallymkun, cried. "I'll see to the brute!"

There was the sound of scuffling, and much gasping and moaning from the rabbit and his friend Thackery, and then Alice suddenly felt a sharp prick in the end of her finger.

"_Ouch!" _she cried, wincing and swatting her hand reflexively.

"Look out!" McTwisp cried. "The monster's attacking!"

"I'm _not _a monster!" called Alice through the window.

There was a short silence.

"Oh no?" retorted the high voice. "Just what are you, then?"

"I'm a…..well, I'm a girl," Alice answered, feeling a bit silly making such an obvious statement. "I've only….I've only just grown a bit too much, is all."

"Grown a bit too much for the much of your muchness, milady!" shouted Thackery.

"A girl, eh? Well if you're a girl, you're the most monstrous one _I've_ ever seen!"

"Oh dear, oh dear, my poor house, my poor Mary Ann!" the white rabbit was moaning. "She must have been crushed to pieces inside! Where did the beast come from? However will we get it out?"

"Pull it through the chimney!" supplied Thackery.

"No, no, that won't do at all, the chimney is filthy. I'm having Bill round to clean it this afternoon."

"Well, we can't wait all day for him," Mallymkun said sternly. "Her Majesty clearly said that our meeting was at _three o'clock, _not a bit before or after_. _That's the only time of day anyone can get anything out of poor Tarrant anymore, and you know he needs to attend as well."

"But my _house---!"_

"Oh, _fine, _McTwisp!" the high voice cried exasperatedly. "If we can't stick it out, and we can't pull it out, then we'll just have to _smoke _it out."

"_Smoke the monster out!" _Thackery parroted.

"_Smoke _the monster out?" McTwisp gasped, horrified. "You'll ruin my curtains!"

"Thackery, got a match on you?" Mallymkun asked, ignoring the white rabbit's protests.

"Now….just you see here, Dormouse---"

"It's smoke, or nothing at all! We've less than an hour to get to the castle, and I _won't _miss the meeting for your silly house and your foppish gloves! We've _got _to be ready for Alice when she gets there, McTwisp, now either find me a match or _forget _the wretched house!"

Alice's ears perked sharply at the mention of her name. Her heart leaping into her mouth, she quickly began to wave with the arm hanging out of the window.

"Wait!" she shouted. "Wait! Please don't burn it down….._I'm _Alice! I'm here, I'm inside the house!"

Stunned silence.

More stunned silence.

Mallymkun was the first the speak, her voice----for Alice was quite sure by now that she _was _a she----so soft it was little more than a squeak.

"That voice….I think I---yes, could it be? _Alice??"_

"Yes!" she cried. "Yes, yes, it's me! My name is Alice!"

"Rubbish!" the white rabbit shouted. "If you're Alice, what are you doing in my house, and why is your arm so enormous?"

"You mistook me for your housekeeper in the woods! I came in to fetch your gloves and I ate a cake marked _Eat Me, _and before I could stop it I'd grown to fill the whole room. Oh, _please _don't burn it down!"

"Prove it, then. If you're Alice, come outside and show us!"

"But I _can't, _don't you see? I'm stuck!"

"Then use the fan, silly!"

Alice narrowed her eyes. "The fan? But what good will that---"

"Just _use it!"_

Puzzled, but curious, and desperately wanting to get out of her tight situation, Alice quickly began looking round her for any sign of the little white fan. If she wiggled just so, she was able to free her left hand from betwixt her side and the wall, and held her tongue in her lips, straining with the effort as she felt beneath herself for the things she had dropped near the doorway. Meanwhile, the creatures were chattering wildly amongst themselves outside.

"But how could she be _here? _I thought Chess was supposed to bring her to the castle, the Oraculum said so!"

"Chess piece one, two up, four left! Piece two, nine left! Piece three, six up, three backwards, double somersault…."

"The Oraculum only said that Chess would be the one to _find _her. She said she was in the woods. How could you possibly mistake her for Mary Ann?"

"Well she _looked _like Mary Ann! Her hair was all orange, and I couldn't make out her face, she was all covered in----"

"_Got it!" _Alice cried, at last finding the tiny object in her fingers. Her voice silenced the creatures, and though she couldn't see them, she was certain they were each staring up at the window.

"Go on, then, use it! But mind you don't go _too _far."

Holding the fan the only way she could manage, Alice craned her wrist round, pinching the delicate little shape between her thumb and forefinger, and gently began waving it up and down, up and down---she of course felt no breeze, but obediently kept at it all the same. At first, it seemed as if nothing at all were happening----then, quite suddenly, she realized that the kink in her neck was gone, and she was able to hold her head straight up without grazing the ceiling. The next second, her shoulders didn't touch either wall of the room, and the second after that she was able to pull her foot from the chimney. The harder she fanned, the faster she shrank, Mary Ann's miraculous dress following swiftly along. It wasn't long at all before she found herself sitting on the floor in the middle of the white rabbit's ruined bedroom, not a hair taller or shorter than she had been when she entered. Overjoyed, she leapt to her feet and rushed to the window, looking out over the grassy lawn. Standing there below her was the white rabbit, looking very frazzled, with his pocket watch dangling loose from its chain; a second rabbit----tawny, mangy and wild-eyed, in a disheveled blue-gray suit, but grinning madly---and a tiny little white creature that, when she squinted, Alice saw was a mouse in a frilled pink tunic with a miniscule sword hanging at her hip. As soon as she stuck her head out the window, all three of the animals gasped and began turning about excitedly.

"Oh it _is _Alice, it _is!" _the mouse, who Alice saw was Mallymkun, cried excitedly, bobbling up and down.

"Alice!" McTwisp called to her. "Oh, dear, can you _ever _forgive me for not recogni-----OH!" he gasped. "Alice, drop the fan this instant!!"

"What?" Alice's smile faded, her brow knitting curiously. "But why, what's----" then, as she realized what was happening, she jumped back in shock and immediately threw down the fan as if it were a live snake….but it was too late. As she had stood there, she'd been continuing to fan herself without knowing it until she had shrunk down lower than the window sill. Even after she'd dropped the fan, she continued to fall down, down….the walls soared up around her, the window grew so high she couldn't hope to see out of it….indeed, even the floor moldings of the rabbit's bedroom were taller than she was!

"Oh _no!" _she cried, looking down at her hands. "What if I should go out altogether, like a candle?"

"Alice! _Alice!" _the voices were calling from nearby. There were thumpering footsteps on the stairs, and in a few moments the rabbits and the mouse came dashing together into the room.

"Oh dear, oh dear!" McTwisp muttered, hopping towards her and scooping her up in his paws without so much as a word of permission. Her head swam a bit as the floor sank swiftly away, and she gripped his sleeve tightly with her hands for fear of falling. "I was afraid of this! You fanned yourself far too much."

"I didn't _mean _to," Alice pointed out, a bit unnerved by the proximity of the rabbit's enormous face, his great furry nose sniffing and twitching nervously very near to her. He lowered her closer to the floor so that the three of them could see---Alice had stopped shrinking, and the wonderful dress had shrunk down with her, but oh! How dreadful to be so tiny! She was smaller than she had ever been before. Even Mallymkun the mouse---a dormouse, to be particular---was two heads taller than she.

"Poor girl!" Mallymkun clucked sympathetically; then quickly brightening up, "But not to worry, Sir Alice….we'll have you put right in no time, just as soon as we get to the castle! Her Majesty will fix you up right as rain. How _glad _we all are to see you again….and Tarrant! If this doesn't snap him back to his old self again, nothing will!"

"The palace?" Alice asked, looking hopefully up into the Dormouse's bright, olive green eyes. "Then you'll take me there?"

"A hare?? _Where?" _Thackery murmured, looking all around and turning himself in circles.

"Take you there!" the white rabbit cried. "Why Alice, of _course _we will! That's what you're here for, isn't it? The White Queen summoned you?"

"The Dodo bird asked me the same thing," Alice explained, "….but I'm afraid I simply don't _know _this Queen you're talking about."

The March Hare stopped spinning so abruptly he tottered to the floor, lifting his head to stare at her with his wonky eyes. Both McTwisp and Mallymkun's mouths opened, and they looked once back and forth between she and each other. Alice fidgeted uncomfortably under their gaze.

"I'm sorry," she offered feebly.

The white rabbit gave a small, nervous laugh. "Oh, but….but you're having us on, Alice! Of course you remember Her Majesty, it wasn't more than two years ago----"

"Nivens," the Dormouse whispered, staring at Alice with a sad, slowly dawning light of understanding in her eyes, "I think she's telling the truth. I…..I don't think she remembers at all."

The white rabbit's face fell. "Oh, dear…..oh dear, oh dear. Alice, do you mean to say….you've really forgotten everything all over again?_"_

The Dormouse put her face in her paws. "Oh, poor _Tarrant….."_

Alice shook her head helplessly. She felt terrible, and she didn't even understand why…..just what was all this she was supposed to be remembering, and why were these creatures all so distraught over it? And for that matter, who _was_ this Tarrant fellow that everyone kept mentioning?

"Look, I….I'm _terribly _sorry, but I simply don't know what you're talking about. Perhaps….perhaps you're thinking of another Alice….?"

"Oooooh, no," Mallymkun snapped suddenly, looking up with a sharp gaze. "Not _that _business again. No, you're our Alice alright…..there's no mistaking it this time. You've just….you've just lost a bit of memory, that's all. That must simply be what that Upperland does to you---it's made you forget again. A nice jog about Underland to freshen your head, and it'll all come back, just like the last time, you'll see!"

"Well," sighed McTwisp, looking towards his two companions. "At any rate, we _must _get her to the palace. I'm certain Her Majesty will know what to do."

"Hear hear," the Dormouse cheered, seeming to regain a bit of her spark. "That's the first sense you've made today. Onward to the White Castle!"

"But wait, just a moment!" Alice peeped, but the white rabbit had already slipped her into the breast pocket of his blue waistcoat, and together the animals raced in a fury down the stairs, out of the house, and into the woods, bounding over hill and dale and dodging all sorts of bushes and trees and enormous, twisting flowers of all colors, flowers the like of which Alice had ever seen. The whole world was a colorful blur of greens and blues and crimsons, and here and there bright beams of sunlight pierced the canopy. They had run at top speed through the underbrush for quite some time when they at last came to the road, where they slowed to a walk.

All the while Alice had been tucked away in McTwisp's pocket, never daring to stick more than her head out into the air for fear of slipping out. Now that they were moving at a less frightening pace, she ventured she push herself up on her toes and reach her arms out over the lip of the fabric. Because the white rabbit was walking on all fours, she found herself hanging on her stomach almost parallel with the ground. The March Hare was close at hand on the left, and the Dormouse was just a few paces ahead of McTwisp.

Summoning her courage, Alice raised her voice as loud as she could. "Mallymkun!" she called.

The mouse looked over her shoulder as they walked. "Sir Alice!" she beamed. "You still remember my name?"

Alice's face fell. "No, I'm sorry, I only overheard, but----never mind that. Mallymkun, can I ask you a question?"

"Anything, Sir!"

In truth, Alice's mind was abuzz with questions, and she found it impossible to pick out just one. When she opened her mouth, they all came pouring out of her in a torrent.

"How is it everyone here in----in _Underland---"_ her mouth felt strange forming the word for a second time, "---how do they all know who I am? What does this White Queen want with me, and why is it so important I get to her castle? How did the Cheshire Cat know where to find me? What's an _Oraculum? _And….and why does everyone act as if I've _been_ here before?"

"Simple. You _have _been here before."

She shook her head with frustration. "But that's just the trouble----I'm quite certain I _haven't._ Wouldn't I remember if I'd been to a place like this?"

"You didn't remember the _last _time, either."

Alice sighed. This was going nowhere. She let her chin rest in her palm as she gazed down at the blur of pebbly road passing by beneath the rabbit's feet.

"It just can't _be," _she whispered to herself. "How could I _ever _forget such a mad, curious world? It's impossible."

_**It's only impossible if you believe it is.**_

Alice gave a tremendous start.

"Sir Alice? What is it?" the white rabbit asked.

"_Bucketses!" _the March Hare murmured.

Alice stared downward, wide eyed, her heart throbbing.

"It's….nothing," she muttered quickly, holding a little tighter the edge of his pocket. _The voice…..she hadn't heard it for some time, she had nearly forgotten….._

_**Beware the Jabberwock, my son!**_

_**The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!**_

_**The jaws, the claws….**_

_**The Jabberwock!**_

_Jabberwock….Jabberwock…..what __**was **__that word, and why did it make her think of……of….?_

With a sudden spark of thought, Alice looked up.

"Mallymkun!" she called again, her brow knitting in contemplation.

"What now?"

"Mallymkun……..who is Tarrant?"

The Dormouse opened her mouth as if preparing to answer, then stopped dead when Alice spoke the name. As Mallymkun looked up at her in a stunned sort of hesitation, a bright gleam of sadness bled across her face. She turned solemnly back to the road, walking with her head down.

"Wait until we reach the castle, Sir Alice," she said quietly. "And Her Majesty the White Queen will explain everything from the beginning."

Alice gazed down at the Dormouse's back for a moment longer, the questions flitting through her mind like a flock of butterflies.

_The White Queen will explain everything…..everything from the beginning._

Alice took a deep breath and looked up. Straight ahead of them, just off in the distance where the rough road turned to smooth white stone and the wild forest ended, she could see it-----a great white gate, shining like a beacon in the mid-afternoon sun, and beyond that, the towering mountain of pearl-white steeples, turrets and walls.

_The White Castle. _They were almost there.

A/N; Just hold on a little longer, dear readers….we're almost to the _really _good bits! Thanks for bearing with me so far!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N; Whew! Chapter 5, finished at last. It's been a long wait, but Alice is finally going to be reunited with her Hatter! Sorry for the wait on this one---as you'll find out, it's substantially longer than the others. Please forgive any typos you might find---I stayed up most of the night finishing this, and in my loopiness I might have missed a few. So without further ado….chapter 5! Enjoy!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 5_

As Alice, the White rabbit, the March Hare, and the Dormouse drew steadily nearer and nearer to the White Castle, the trees began to grow thinner and fewer between, the shrubbery and wild undergrowth dying off and giving way to a long stretch of smooth, rolling grass, and just beyond that was a great stone wall, gleaming as white as milk, and stretching off in either direction to encompass the whole of the palace grounds. Over the top of it Alice could see the pale pink boughs of blossoming cherry trees.

At long last, they had come to the front gates of the castle. McTwisp and the others slowed to a halt, then rose to walk on their back legs as they passed through the enormous marble archway.

"But isn't there a gate door?" Alice asked curiously, looking all about her from the White rabbit's pocket. "Or guards?"

"There's been no need for them, since the end of the Red Queen," Mallymkun answered.

Alice raised one eyebrow curiously, but rather than ask questions, she contented herself with surveying the grounds. They were now coming to the end of the grassy yard and the orchards of cherry trees, and approaching a beautiful white marble courtyard, just beyond which she could see a marble staircase that led up to the castle entrance. Gathered in the courtyard were ten or fifteen women whom she took to be ladies in waiting, judging by their dress; they were all of them clad in the most wonderful billowing white gowns, and they were all chattering excitedly amongst themselves. Suddenly, one of them noticed the little party of animals coming up the path, and her eyes widened as she quickly turned into the circle and began vigorously shaking someone's shoulder.

"They're here, Majesty, they've arrived!"

All at once the circle of ladies in waiting parted, and from the center there appeared one of the most beautiful, but strangest looking figures Alice had ever seen. An eerie white glow seemed to radiate all around her, her long waves of meticulously arranged hair such a shade of platinum blonde that they nearly matched her ghostly pale skin----but her mouth and the tips of her fingers were a rich plum color, almost black, and her enormous dark eyes gazed down at the trio of animals with a kind-hearted weirdness very difficult to describe. Pearls wrapped round her neck and trailed down the front of her beautiful white clothes, and atop her head was a tall silver crown.

"Friends!" she smiled widely, half walking, half skipping toward them with rapid little steps, lifting her skirts with one hand and holding the other out in the air with her fingers bent. Her voice was faint and airy, almost a whisper slipping haphazardly from her nearly black lips. She immediately dropped down onto her knees before them, beaming warmly. "I'm _so_ glad you've made it!"

Each of the animals bent down in a brief bow. The White rabbit spoke first.

"Majesty, we've the most wonderful news for you---"

"Yes, Nivens, I'm certain you do, but I'm afraid we haven't time for it just now," the White Queen interrupted gently, rising back up to her feet. "We've only fifteen minutes before three o'clock, and we _must _begin at once. We'll only have a small snippet of time before Tarrant will close up again, and he must get word of the prophecy. Sir Alice should be arriving here any----"

"But Majesty, that _is _the news!" cried Mallymkun. "We've already found Alice, she's come here with us."

The White Queen stopped, her lips parting and her eyes widening in surprise. "You have? She _is? _But…where is she?"

Without a word of warning, the White rabbit plucked Alice from his breast pocket and placed her on the stone floor in front of the Queen. She stumbled shortly as he set her down, her feet slipping a bit on the smooth surface of the courtyard---she realized for the first time that she had quite forgotten to put on shoes when she'd been in Mary Ann's chambers.

The vapid, glistening smile returned to the White Queen's face, along with a knowing sort of glow that Alice couldn't quite identify. She held out a hand to one of her ladies in waiting, who immediately handed her an enormous magnifying glass. The Queen bent down over her with the glass held in front of her face, so that her dark eyes and mouth loomed smiling and gargantuan just over Alice's head. Alice looked back at her with a knit, uneasy brow. After a few seconds, not knowing what else to do, she cut a small curtsy.

"An….honor, your Majesty," she said quietly.

The White Queen glowed happily. "An honor yourself, Sir Alice. This is wonderful news indeed, Nivens," she whispered. "Alice…..it is such a joy to see you again, and I should love to give you the proper welcome you deserve, but just now we haven't the time. Come, there's not a moment to lose. We must go to Tarrant at once and----"

"Er….there is just _one _problem, your Majesty," the White rabbit interrupted, wringing his paws. The White Queen looked up. "She…ah….you see, I'm afraid that during Sir Alice's stay in the Upperland, she….she seems to have….ah…..forgotten us."

The Queen blinked in surprise. "_Again?"_

Alice made an irritated face. She was beginning to grow rather tired of all these people expecting her to know things she didn't.

"Afraid so, Majesty," the Dormouse nodded.

The White Queen looked back down through the magnifying glass, her face now writ with concern.

"Oh, my. Oh my, oh my, oh my. This _is _unfortunate."

"If I may please beg your pardon, your Majesty," Alice said, trying her best not to sound cross. "Would it be possible for someone to tell me just _what _it is I'm supposed to be remembering which I'm not?"

The Queen shook her head sadly, lowering the magnifying glass and laying her hand flat on the ground in front of her. "Oh, my. You _have _forgotten, then. Oh, dear….a grave misfortune indeed."

Narrowing her eyes, Alice carefully climbed into the Queen's waiting palm and sat down, spreading her skirts over her knees. The Queen delicately lifted her up to waist height and turned around, floating back across the courtyard toward the enormous front castle doors.

"Nivens, Mallymkun, Thackery," she called back to the three creatures, who hurriedly followed after her. "Please, go and see how our Tarrant is feeling today? But mind you, not to say a word about Alice being here. I want him to see her first for himself."

The White Queen dismissed her ladies in waiting with a gentle wave of her wrist, and continued with Alice in tow through the castle doors, which opened before her as if pulled by invisible hands. She swept through hall after marble white hall, then, climbing up a vast winding staircase until they came to a long, narrow corridor, turned abruptly through a door on their right. They were now in what looked like a small sitting room attached to a kitchen. The Queen went to a round table sitting by an open window and ever so softly let Alice down onto it, then took a seat by it herself. Through the wide window, Alice could see for miles and miles across the open countryside; the sun was shining high and full at the top of the cobalt sky, the forest and the grassy hills spreading as far as the eye could see. She squinted, but couldn't make out any sign of the distant ocean by which she had entered this magical country.

Heaving a small, tremulous sigh, the White Queen lifted the crown from her head and placed it on the stone sill of the window. Alice glanced once at her reflection in its silver sides and was struck again by the starkness of her diminutive stature.

"It's true then, my dear?" the Queen asked, and Alice looked up at her. "You don't recall _anything _from when you were last with us?"

Alice shook her head. "No, your Majesty, I'm dreadfully sorry, but ever since I _came _to----"

"Please, call me Mirana," the Queen whispered suddenly, leaning in a bit closer. "You may not know it just now, but it _is _my name."

Alice paused, jarred from her thoughts by the interruption. She sighed and started again. "You see, Mirana, it's like this----ever since I got to this place, everyone seems to know who I am, but they become very upset when I don't know who _they _are, and while I'm very sorry and I never meant to alarm anyone, I….well….I simply can't help it if I don't remember! I never have been any good at remembering my dreams, you see."

A shadow flit across the White Queen's face, and she frowned. "Your dreams?"

"Yes….I always have the most fantastical dreams, that much I'm sure of, but then the morning afterwards, I never seem to be able to----"

Mirana's frown melted into a small, sad smile, and without any warning at all she lifted her hand and flicked Alice sharply in the stomach with her thumb and her little finger. Alice felt all the breath rush out of her as she toppled down on her back on the white lace tablecloth, completely stunned. She coughed and sat upright, holding her stomach in her hand and shuddering with the sharp twinge. She looked up at the Queen incredulously.

"There," Mirana said softly, lowering her hand again, this time to gently, affectionately stroke Alice's shoulder with her fingertip. "Did that feel like something, to you?"

"It did!_" _Alice frowned meanly. "That _hurt, _you know."

Mirana blinked slowly, her melancholy half-smile never fading. "I'm sorry Sir Alice, but because of your miniscule size I'm afraid I can't hear you as clearly as I'd like. Could you say that again?"

"I _said," _Alice called, struggling to keep herself from becoming downright angry, "That that

_hu----"_

She stopped mid-sentence, her mouth hanging open. Her anger instantly melted away and was replaced with a sharp astonishment. "That….that _hurt_," she whispered to herself.

Mirana nodded.

"But…." Alice went on, looking down at her own hands with puzzled eyes, "….you can't _get _hurt in your dreams. You can't feel things at all."

For the first time since coming to the strange new world, Alice realized that she had completely forgotten this rule. She had been feeling and hurting hundreds of ways, and never once thought about it….only now, when forced to say it aloud, did she realize the implication.

_How was it possible? If this was a dream, how could everything feel so undeniably….__**real**__?_

The Queen leaned forward and put her elbows on the table, resting her chin in her palm as she looked down.

"Do you really believe that all of this is a dream, Alice?"

Alice let her hands drop into her lap, troubled thoughts buzzing all through her head.

"I….I don't know _what _I believe," she murmured wearily. "I just haven't been myself today, I'm afraid. I don't know _who _I am."

"That's good," the Queen said. "It means that you're becoming more like yourself every moment that you're here. It means that you've started to find your way back again."

Alice looked at her curiously as Mirana sat up straight again, watching her with a tender expression of understanding.

"Sir Alice, you don't remember a milliner by the name of Tarrant Hightopp, do you?"

Alice blinked. The mention of the by now familiar name sent a brief, powerful jolt of feeling shivering deep, deep inside of her….but try as she might, no face came to her mind to go with it.

"No…..I don't," she admitted sadly. _But….why sadly?_

"You don't remember the Red Queen, the Bandersnatch, the Vorpal Sword, the Jabberwocky. You don't remember what you did for us….why it is we address you as a knight."

Alice opened to say that she _did _feel she had heard the word _Jabberwocky, _that somewhere deep down she _did _remember it….but the next second, she realized that it wasn't really true.

"No."

"And you don't know what the _Oraculum _is."

"No."

"And you don't know why I summoned you here the moment I knew you would be in Underland….and you don't know how I _knew _you would be in Underland…..and you don't know what Underland is."

Alice began to shake her head, then stopped. "Underland….it's what you call this world, isn't it?"

Mirana only smiled.

"You've been away in the Upperland only a short time," she said, "And yet it's done to you everything just as thoroughly as it did before….indeed, thoroughly _more."_

Alice sighed. "I only wish _someone _would explain to me what's going on."

The White Queen sat up perfectly straight in her chair and folded her hands neatly on the table in front of her.

"Make yourself comfortable, my dear friend, and I will do exactly that."

Mirana cleared her throat loudly, turned to the side and hocked a great drop of spit out the window, then turned back to Alice and smiled warmly. She opened her mouth and began.

"_Twas in the sway of the Frabjous day, when all were crying out 'Callay,'_

_And the Jabberwock's revolting head----down on the grimsic stones it lay,_

_That Alice our Champion turned to say, 'Tis' time for me to be on my way.'_

_With a pop and a wink, she had gone away, and had been gone since that Frabjous day._

_And Underland was set to rights, with dancing days and slumbery nights,_

_And all returned to their normalsome blights, happy with all of their mays and their mights._

_The court of the Queen was a smiling sight, and among them were none who did sniffle or snight,_

_Except for the one, who try as he might, could not let himself be put to his rights."_

The Queen paused for a moment, a sudden forlorn shadow darkening her face. She sighed largely.

"It was Tarrant, you see," breaking from her rhyming into normal speech without a word of explanation. "After you had slain the Jabberwocky, toppled the tyrannous reign of the wicked Red Queen, restored Underland to its rightful rule, brought about a new age of peace, made your goodbyes, drunk the blood of the headless beast, and vanished away to the mysterious Upperlands that are your native home….I suppose that was when it first began. Though Mirana the White Queen didn't realize it at first….he showed no outward signs of distress to her---and she is often quite _good _at picking up signs of distress, you see----so how was anyone to know? Oh, but it became clear soon enough to the Queen, it did indeed."

Alice blinked. _Alright….she's traded poetry for a story in the third person. Best to just go along with it._

"Of course, as soon as everything had settled down and all were returned to their rightful places, the Queen offered the brave and helpful Tarrant Hightopp his old position as Royal Court Milliner, a title he accepted at once. He kept his home in the windmill, but came to stay at the castle every fortnight to practice his trade. All the ladies and nobles at court were _mad _for his hats----they'd had nothing so fine in _ages_---but it soon became apparent that something was wrong, for the Court Milliner never seemed able to _finish _any of his wonderful hats. Every time one of them was half-done, he seemed to become flustered and dazed, and he'd simply start on a new one. Within a month we had need to build a special chamber onto the castle, just to house all his half-finished hats. Being a very dear friend of the Queen's, she was naturally quite troubled at his strange behavior---but when asked what was wrong, the poor Milliner seemed unable to give an answer. He only said that he never felt he could quite get his hats right anymore, or that his work was delayed because his shoes were too clean."

_Too clean? _Alice opened her mouth to make a remark, but then wisely thought better of it and let the Queen go on uninterrupted.

"The Queen then sent for the Court Milliner's friends, the March Hare and the Dormouse, to ask them if they knew what the matter was. The March Hare would only talk about tuna fish dancing on the moon, but the Dormouse said that they too had been quite worried----that the Milliner had not been himself at all of late---that he had started having breakfast in the morning and supper at night, that he never buttered his watch anymore and that he took off his hat before going to bed; that he had not repainted his looking glass in ages, and that when asked questions he nearly _always _gave a sensible answer. The very _most _troublesome symptom, however, was that the Milliner had actually begun to hold teatime only _once a day, _and never outside in the rain, which had always been his favorite before_. _In short---and it was a terrible _in, _no matter _how _short----in short, the poor, dear Milliner had begun to grow….._sane." _

Here the White Queen paused again to look down dismally, shuddering a bit as if at the coldness of the idea.

Alice blinked and sat up straighter. Unable to stop the words from forming, she blurted out, "_Sane? _But….surely you mean he grew _mad_, don't you? After all, wouldn't it be _better _if the Milliner were becoming sane?"

The White Queen gave Alice a stern, shocked look, but quickly melted into a sad understanding.

"I don't hold your ignorance against you, Sir Alice, for it isn't your fault that you've forgotten. For another milliner, perhaps what you say would be so----but you see, dear Alice, for _this _Milliner, to become sane was the most dreadful illness in the world. When he became sane, it was as if his candle was blown out---as if, _poof, _just like that, he was no longer himself, but someone entirely else, and not a someone else that he at all ought to be. He became terribly low and sad, drooping deeper and deeper each day like a flower that wilts in the sun----for it _was _sunny then in Underland, never had the land known such happiness and peace. That was what made it so terribly cruel for the poor Milliner----but he simply could not be himself, despite the glee all about him. When the Queen heard the news, she knew steps must be taken----she summoned the Court Milliner, and begged him to stay with her in the castle until he was well again. He neither agreed nor protested, but simply uttered, _'As you wish.' _So he lived in his work chambers, always poking away at unfinished hats, never speaking to anyone unless spoken to. For almost a year and one half he went on the same way, sinking lower and lower with each passing day. What an _awful _thing it was to behold, especially when nothing the White Queen did could help. Every day she went to see him, hoping against hope that she might be able to cheer him, or at least to learn a little about what was the matter---but the Milliner grew so sane and silent that there came the day when he refused to say absolutely anything apart from his sane little ramblings except for exactly _ten _minutes out of every day, starting at 3 o'clock."

Mirana leaned closed to Alice. "His teatime, you know," she whispered. "Finally, when the Queen was beginning to fear that all hope was lost, there came the day when the royal magicians and star-gazers called for her, and told her that a new prediction had at last been made by the Oraculum. The Oraculum, Underland's eternal calendar, showing all things that are, most things that were, and a very few special things that will be, had not made a new prediction in two years time, not since it marked out the date of the Frabjous day and the second visit of Sir Alice the Great. Well, now it had at last made another; and oh, how happy were the White Queen and all her subjects when they saw that the Oraculum had prophesied the _third _visit of their beloved Sir Alice!"

Alice's mouth suddenly grew dry, and she swallowed heavily. She was beginning to grow very unsure of things---how could she be hailed as such a hero for something she didn't even remember doing?

Mirana didn't notice her worried face, but went on exuberantly with the story. "The Oraculum is a very ancient and powerful oracle----it never makes a prediction the same way twice. When it told of the defeat of the Jabberwock, it was ever so clear in its words, but when it called for Alice's third coming, it was _most _vague. It said only that she should return a third time to our world, that she would come by the sea, and that her old friend, none other than the Cheshire Cat himself, would bring her to the shore. Beyond that, the Oraculum said nothing. But oh, it did not matter---for as soon as she heard the prophesy, the White Queen had an epiphany. _Alice! _Of course, _Alice----she _was the reason Tarrant Hightopp had lost all of himself! Since the moment Sir Alice left Underland, it had slowly been eating away at him bit by bit, until he had almost disappeared like a sugar cube. What a fool the White Queen had been, not to see the truth when it was right at the tip of her nose!….But no matter, now that Alice was set to return, all would be well! The White Queen could scarcely wait until she had arrived, for when she did, the dear Milliner would at long last smile again, and everything would come to rights. The end."

Mirana ended her story abruptly and with a flourish of her hands, and she then sat there smiling down at Alice. Alice watched her back, blinking in surprise.

"The…the end?" she asked, faintly dazed.

The White Queen nodded. "You asked to be told what's going on, and I've done precisely that."

Alice could only stare. "Well….I….thank you, but….then….I'm _here. _What happens now?"

"Well, now we've come to next chapter of the story!" the Queen beamed. Without warning she rose to her feet and danced away from the table, disappearing through the doorway into the kitchen nearby. Alice rose to her feet and craned her neck to watch, waiting expectantly. A moment later the Queen returned, carrying with her a porcelain teacup and saucer, which she placed on the table beside Alice.

"This is the chapter in which we must reunite Alice----_that's you, dear_----with the Court Milliner."

As Alice eyed the enormous teacup beside her, she felt a prickle of apprehension running up the back of her neck. She had heard so much about this Tarrant Hightopp, and from what everyone kept on insisting, she and he had known each other once----had even meant a great deal to each other, it seemed from the White Queen's story----but try and try as she might, Alice simply _could _not bring him to her memory, and while she did feel very sorry for him and for what the Queen said had become of him….well…..just what was everyone expecting her to do? Could she really help this poor Milliner just by seeing him, when as far as she could recall, she had never met him in her life?

_Do they really believe it's that simple? _she wondered. _What if it doesn't change a thing when he looks at me? _

"Ah, the teacup," Mirana said, noticing Alice's worried looks. The Queen gave her a devilish smile and a little wave of her hand. "I thought it might be more effective for Tarrant if you came as a bit of a…..._surprise._ He takes his tea once a day at precisely three o'clock, you see, and it will be the best time for him to discover you…..I'm afraid it may sting a bit at first that you don't remember who he is, but I'm sure he'll forgive you quite quickly. In fact, I don't think-----"

_BONG! BONG! BONG!_

The White Queen gasped sharply, her gaze whipping in the direction of the open door and she was interrupted by the sound of a grandfather clock ringing out three loud, booming chimes. Mirana looked back down at Alice, her eyes lit with a subdued excitement.

"Oh my! Foolish me, I've forgotten the time! Quickly, Sir Alice…..we must go!"

"Wait just a min_UTE!" _Alice yelped in surprise as the Queen suddenly swept her off the table, pinching her daintily between her thumb and forefinger, and dropped her into the great white teacup.

"Do forgive me!" she whispered cheerfully, then covered the opening with her hand. Alice rose to her feet, but was knocked quickly down again when the teacup gave a great gliding jolt. She could feel the floating rise and fall of Mirana's rapid footsteps, but everything inside the cup was pitch dark.

"Slow down!" Alice cried, pressing her palms flat against the cool, smooth sides of her prison. "Let me out of here!"

Either the White Queen couldn't hear her voice, or she paid her no attention. After just a short minute or two of the dark discombobulation, Mirana drew her hand away and light flooded into the teacup. Alice gazed up at the enormous face with a stern look of disapproval.

"Now, see here," she called, shakily rising to her feet. "You can't just go round stuffing people into---"

"Shh!" the White Queen cut her off, putting the tip of her finger over Alice's lips----which indeed, covered not only her lips but her whole face, and succeeded in toppling her back down onto her backside. "Don't make a sound! And stay down----don't let him see you!"

Alice scowled irately. The Queen hushed a giggle and straightened up, clearing her throat and schooling her features into a calm gaze. She lifted her hand and knocked once on the door they stood before, then abruptly opened it and went inside without waiting for a reply.

The teacup was large enough that Alice could sit up straight without her head clearing the rim, but she was determined to get a look at where the White Queen had taken her. Inching ever so carefully further and further against the round porcelain wall, she crept up until she was just high enough to peep over the lip of the cup.

The instant she looked out, she saw him-----and her heart skipped a beat.

Without having to be told, she somehow knew-----she knew it was him.

She and the Queen were at one end of a middle-sized, high ceilinged chamber with vast, towering windows set into the far wall, looking over the castle grounds and the forest beyond. The room, though warm and comfortable, was slightly bare; it was absent of furnishings save for a circular table at one end that was covered with hat mannequins, fabric bolts, paper flowers, buttons, ribbon, sewing things, and all other sorts of milliner's tools---perched on each of the mannequin heads, Alice noticed, was a half-finished hat; _literally _half-finished, one slice of a completed hat, as if someone had taken a knife and divided them straight down the middle, and kept only one half----and at the other end of the room, in front of the windows, a little round table and a wingback armchair beside it. The sight of the chair blazed in Alice's eyes like a flickering candle flame.

_A wingback chair._

And there he was…..sitting in it. He was turned away from them, gazing out through the enormous window, silhouetted in the shining daylight. Alice could see only the line of his shoulders and the shadow of what looked like a great, wildly frizzy shock of hair----she couldn't make out his face.

"_Remember….not a peep," _Mirana whispered to her, so softly that only she could hear. The White Queen then strode boldly across the room toward the figure in the armchair, holding the teacup as high as her chest so that Alice was completely hidden from view.

"Good afternoon, Tarrant," she said sweetly, floating to a halt beside the little round table. Alice peered anxiously over the rim of the teacup, but she still could not see the man's face.

Silence permeated the room like a tangible presence. The White Queen cleared her throat gently.

"Good after_noon, _Tarrant," she repeated, pressing a bit louder.

The figure in the chair gave a great start as if waking from a trance, and quickly spun around in the chair.

The instant he turned to face them, Alice's eyes grew wide. Her heart rocketed into her mouth, and she discovered she couldn't look away.

The man in the chair---Tarrant Hightopp---was like no one she had ever seen before. And yet, the longer she looked at him, the more she realized that his face _was _familiar to her----familiar, but so very, very far away, as if she had only caught a single glimpse of him in a dream she had not had for a thousand years or more….but she had caught it all the same. Tarrant's skin was white. Not pale, but _white, _like sugar or paper. Under his eyes, down the sharp lines of his cheekbones, and along his mouth were strange markings of a faint grayish-puce color, and the incredible spray of frizzy hair she had seen was a dull, faded orange. His eyes, which she stared gapingly into, were like clouded marbles of charcoal gray. He wore a dull burgundy vest and dingy blue shirtsleeves, his clothes reasonably tidy save for a few bits of ribbon hanging loose from the pockets and a stray hat pin stuck here or there. His hands were covered in fingerless gloves, and sitting on the table in front of him was a tall, battered-looking top hat with a pale pink ribbon trailing almost down to the floor. He gazed up at the White Queen with an expression that Alice would not have described as anything other than blank, and yet…..and _yet….._somehow, it filled her with the most inexplicable, most terrible sadness she could imagine. In fact, the longer she watched him, the more certain she became that the Queen had not only told her the truth, but that no words the Queen could have used would have been enough to explain what was wrong, the pain in the poor man's gaze was so intangible, yet so deep. Yes….whoever this Tarrant was, however she might have known him in the past….something with him was wrong.

"Your Majesty," he said apologetically, his voice issuing out in a soft, feeble utterance almost no more than a whisper. "I did not hear you come in."

He lifted the wingback chair by its armrests and turned it to face the Queen, then rose calmly to his feet and began to cut a low, solemn bow.

"Oh, Tarrant, forget all that," Mirana pleaded, reaching out and placing one hand beneath his chin to lift him up again. "I've told you before it isn't necessary."

"As you wish," was the milliner's dull reply. To Alice's astonishment she found herself nearly welling up with tears at the broken sound of his voice, so flat and completely without feeling it was. The worst of it was that he didn't even bear any outward signs of his sadness….he was simply…._blank._

Tarrant sat back down in the armchair, at first holding himself straight, but by gradual degrees letting himself slouch further and further down until his legs jutted far beyond the seat and his back was parallel with the floor, his chin flat on his breast and his eyes staring listlessly forward.

"Have you had any luck with the new hat, Tarrant?" the Queen asked hopefully.

For a long moment, the milliner said nothing. Alice glanced up at Mirana, who was watching him with a worried brow. Finally, he answered, in the same flat tone, "It doesn't look as if it's going to rain today."

"No, it certainly doesn't. It's very lovely out. Would you perhaps like to go outside, Tarrant? It's been months since you've left this room."

"A sensible pair of shoes makes for comfortable walking," the milliner replied.

"Of course, but wouldn't you like to go outside?"

"If you drop a stone in the top of a well, it is certain to fall until it reaches the bottom."

"Oh, please answer me, Tarrant. You're always willing to talk at teatime."

"A fireplace will only burn properly if it is kept clean and dry."

Alice was beginning to understand what the Queen had said about his _sane ramblings…._bits and pieces of perfect reason, but cast out like shards of a broken heart, without thought or feeling or meaning. It was indeed terrible to watch. The White Queen sighed, then looked down at Alice and seemed to remember that she was in the teacup. Instantly the secretive smile returned to her dark lips.

"It's three o'clock, Tarrant, and I've brought you your tea. Wouldn't you like some?"

She extended her arms slightly, pushing Alice nearer to the brooding milliner. He continued to stare forward at nothing. Then, suddenly….

"They say that the Oraculum has prophesied Alice's third return to Underland."

The White Queen stopped dead. Alice's eyes widened and her grip tightened on the rim of the teacup….she suddenly felt a surge of self-consciousness and ducked back down to hide at the bottom of the cup, hugging her knees and staring down at her feet. There was a long, long moment of silence.

"Who told you?" Mirana finally asked, her voice soft.

"Thackery Earwicket."

_That silly hare, of course. They oughtn't to have let them come to visit him first…._

"Well….yes, that's true," the Queen said gently. "But….Tarrant, isn't that wonderful news?"

There was a long pause. Almost trembling, but dying to look at his face again, Alice carefully peered back out over the teacup. Tarrant had not moved an inch.

"Yes," he said quietly. "It is wonderful news."

He spoke as if he were talking about the weather. There was not an ounce of feeling in voice, happy or otherwise. The Queen looked at him with puzzled eyes.

"But Tarrant, doesn't that make you _happy? _Aren't you glad that she's coming back?"

"Yes," he murmured. "So very….very glad."

Alice could see that he was telling the truth….and yet nothing about him seemed glad in the slightest.

"But something's still wrong," the Queen begged. "What is it? Isn't everything going to be alright, now she's come back? Isn't it? _Please, _Tarrant…..please tell me. What could still be the matter?"

For the first time, he turned and looked her directly in the eye, and Alice stifled a gasp. His face had gone from blank as a mask to torn with an expression of the deepest sadness she had ever seen in her life.

"She won't remember me," he whispered.

It was too much. Alice covered her mouth with her hand as a single tear slipped from her eye. Guilt swam up from everywhere and dropped like a stone into her stomach. _How…..how could she have forgotten someone like him? Why wasn't anything coming back to her, __**why**__?_

The Queen spoke, and she sounded as if she were on the verge of tears herself----but it was mingled with something else, a persistent, undying hope.

"Tarrant," she breathed, reaching out and holding to teacup to him as Alice squeaked and sank down to hide again, "Why don't you take your tea?"

Silence. Alice couldn't see him, but everything inside her gave a great leap as she felt the cup and saucer passing from the Queen's hands into his. Her heart was hammering, thundering in her ears, her breath coming faster and faster as the cup went down, down, down.

"As you wish, your Majesty."

For one long moment, nothing happened. Alice rose warily to her feet, hunching down beneath the rim, waiting….for what, she didn't know…..

And then, there he was.

The cup tipped forward and she stumbled and slid down until she was sitting at the edge, her legs dangling over the rim. She gripped it with her hands to steady herself, and when she looked up, there he was…..looking straight at her, his face filling her vision, soft and blank with the most beautiful look of childlike disbelief in the world. For what felt like an eternity, they simply stared at each other.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Alice slid down from the rim of the teacup that was frozen in midair in his hands. He was still lying slouched all the way down in the armchair, and as she climbed down her stocking feet landed softly on his vest, just above his heart. For another disbelieving moment, they watched each other in silence….then….

"My Queen," Tarrant breathed in a hoarse, scarcely audible whisper, "….have I gone mad, or is there a very tiny girl standing on my chest?"

"I…..I'm here," Alice answered, her voice trembling. "I've….come to see you."

As Alice watched, she was amazed to see the milliner's eyes slowly changing color in front of her….they went from dull, dark gray to a pale forest green, and along with them his whole face seemed to be gradually changing, as if he were filling up with a hope didn't dare to believe.

"I see," he whispered.

There was another minute of silence between them. Alice felt rooted to the spot, standing there over his heart, which she could feel beating up through the soles of her feet. She didn't know what to say. She _had _to help this man, she simply had to----but how? How could she, when she was supposed to remember him and didn't?

"_Alice," _he uttered her name, and a weight of dread sank inside her, for she was sure that the inevitable question was coming; "My….dear….Alice…..have you kept it?"

Her mouth was cotton dry. "Kept what?" she all but squeaked.

"Your _muchness_," he answered, and the terrible hope was flashing in his eyes again, weighing heavier and heavier on her conscience each second. "Please….tell me you haven't lost it again."

She could only stare, helpless. A shadow of desperation crossed his face, and it weighed on her like a stone.

"_Please," _he whispered, so softly Alice was sure the Queen could not hear, _"Tell me you know who I am."_

It was too much. All at once, tears were clouding the corners of Alice's eyes, and she sniffled and gasped as she fought to keep from crying aloud. It wasn't fair. His heart was breaking before her very eyes, and yet she could do nothing to stop it. _It just wasn't fair….to toss her into this strange world, only to show her people she was powerless to help. _

And yet….she could not lie to him. She could see it in those enormous, pleading eyes---if she lied to him, he would know, and it would be all the worse. Struggling to keep herself together, Alice looked straight into his face and slowly, sadly shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I am so, _so, _sorry……but…..I don't know you."

Tarrant Hightopp froze, the dying light of hope lingering in eyes for a cruel, terrible instant longer….and then it vanished. Pale green darkened back into gray, and all traces of feeling left his face. It was as if he deflated, as if all the life and color had drained straight out of him. He seemed to sink back further into the chair, and his eyes went somewhere far away.

"That's alright," he muttered to himself, entirely without feeling. "I knew….I knew she wouldn't. It's alright."

Alice felt as if her own heart was breaking. The pain, the smothered pain that he refused to let show….it was too awful to bear. She couldn't watch it any more. Turning away, and covering her face with her hands, she began walking down his chest away from his face, not knowing where else to go. She looked up and saw the White Queen, with pearly tears of her own shining unshed in her dark eyes, holding out her hand at the end of Tarrant Hightopp's knee. Alice hastened toward it, yearning to get away from the sadness she was helpless to stop.

And then, just as she was nearly running down the length of his leg, ready to throw herself into Mirana's waiting palm, Alice heard a voice.

Not any voice. _The _voice. The voice that had been echoing in her head since the night that all the madness had started….the deep, rumbling, Scottish rogue of a voice that spoke to her as if it knew her, as if it had known her all her life.

But this time, she wasn't hearing it from inside her head. She was hearing it from right behind her.

"_Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe…..all mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe."_

Alice stopped as if she'd been slapped. Her breath stopping in her throat, she whirled around to look at Tarrant's face. He was staring off at nothing, seeing neither her nor anyone else….his gray eyes were shining with sadness, and he was talking under his breath, reciting to himself the lines that she had heard so many times before.

"_Beware the Jabberwock, my son….the jaws that bite, the claws that catch. Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun….the frumious Bandersnatch."_

It was him.

It was _him._

Her eyes filling with tears, she opened her mouth and spoke one word, so softly that no one could hear.

"_Hatter."_

In that single instant, with that single word, everything came rushing back.

_Everything._

_The rabbit hole, the endless falling---Drink Me, Eat Me, the little door, the glass table, the key---fantastic flowers, trees to the sky----Wonderland-----Tweedledum and Tweedledee, walruses, oysters, the forest, the sea----the Queen of Hearts, the chopping of heads, flamingos, hedgehogs, and roses painted red----roses painted red----the Dormouse inside the teapot, the March Hare flinging spoons and sugar bowls----the long table covered in tea things, and finally, someone sitting in the wingback chair…._

He was still muttering the verses to himself, still gazing deep into miserable nothingness; _"He took his Vorpal sword in hand….longtime the manxome foe he sought….so rested he by the Tumtum tree, and stood awhile in thought."_

Remembering, remembering….with every word, she was remembering! _Her second return, Absolem the caterpillar, now turned into a butterfly and roaming the world----__**her **__world, and India, the blue butterfly she had kept in a jar----the Oraculum, the Red Queen, the Cheshire cat binding her arm, the Bandersnatch, the Vorpal Sword, the White Rabbit, Um from Umbridge, Stayne, the Knave of Hearts, Mirana of Marmoreal, shrinking and growing….._

"And as in uffish thought he stood, the Jabberwock, with eyes of flame….came whiffling through the Tulgey wood, and burbled as it came," Tarrant's voice was beginning to tremble, to break.

_White knights and red, marching against two sides of a chess board----the Red Queen, the Red Queen! The tremendous battle, the clashing of swords, six impossible things….._

"One two, one two….and through, and through….the Vorpal Sword went _snicker-snack…._he left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back."

Alice's eyes grew wide as the final piece of her memory came falling into place.

_She left it dead, and with its head, she went galumphing back._

The _Jabberwocky, the __**Jabberwocky**__! _

She _remembered._

She remembered _everything._

And most of all….oh, most of all…..she remembered _him. _

Him….Tarrant. _Her _Tarrant.

Her Mad Hatter.

His voice at last failed, as if unable to finish the last verse. He closed his eyes and hung his head, covering his eyes with his hand.

Alice began walking toward his face.

"Hatter," she whispered, moving faster and faster.

She ran up his leg, leapt across his belt.

"Hatter!" she choked, louder, tears streaming from her eyes. He still didn't move. She was on his chest again….she was over his heart…..she was on top of his bow.

"_HATTER!" _she shouted.

His eyes snapped open. They stared at each other, she all tears and sobbing, he pure and utter surprise.

"_Alice?" _he whispered.

She cried out, all of her pent-up feeling bursting out in a great, rushing flood. Her heart was pounding like a drum and she was scarcely able to breathe, but it didn't matter----she was so overcome, she couldn't stop herself. She wouldn't have if she could. Oh, Hatter, the Hatter, the _Hatter…..how could she have forgotten him, how? How could she have let this happen to him?_

His great staring eyes followed her as she walked over the bow and collar at his neck, and straight up to his face. An inch away, he looked at her, cross-eyed, and as she looked back she suddenly burst out laughing, the laughter and sobs melding together in one continuous, gasping cry. With tears streaming down her face, she leaned forward and put her arms around his nose, hugging it as well as anyone in the world has ever managed to hug a nose.

The Hatter didn't miss a step. No sooner had she fallen against his face than she felt the huge warm touch of his hand across her back, securing her against him from her shoulders to her toes. The whole world swayed and turned beneath her as the Hatter sat up and sprang out of the chair, turning about the room in a dizzy, dancing waltz. With one hand he seized his hat from the table and tossed it spinning into air, turning a circle and catching it on his head. He was laughing and uttering small, gasping cries of joy, all the while holding the tiny little Alice tight against his nose with both hands. She in turn hugged him as tightly as she was able, still laughing and weeping uncontrollably.

"Hatter, Hatter, my _Hatter,_" she cried his name over and over, burying her face in his skin and feeling the tickle of his eyelashes on the top of her head. "Oh, Hatter, I'm sorry. I'm _so sorry. _Can you ever…..could you ever _begin _to forgive me?"

He abruptly stopped spinning and came to halt. Slowly, gently, he lowered her down from his face to look at her, and when she saw him she gasped. In the blink of an eye, all of the color had returned to his face. His gleaming white skin with tinged with brilliant pinks and blues, his electric shock of hair a blazing mass of blinding orange, and his _eyes….._oh, his wonderful eyes! The brightest shade of lime green she had ever known, ringed round with olive and flecked with shining flashes of yellow, they watched her every move, drank in every scrap of her appearance.

Slowly, warmly, the Hatter smiled at her…..and it was as if she had never been gone.

"I'll forgive you this very moment, if you can answer me one just question," he said, grinning his beautiful gap-toothed grin---and his voice was once again just as she remembered it, that wonderful, constantly changing voice, soft and croaking one instant, then blazing with bold, roaring fury the next, then back to a manic, warbling laugh…..but always, always aglow with his perfect madness.

Alice giggled shakily, wiping away her tears and beaming up at him as he held her tenderly cupped in his hands. "What question?" she asked.

He leaned very close to her, smiling madly.

"How is an _Alice_ like an _albatross?" _he whispered.

She couldn't help it….she burst out laughing, and he joined her, his wild cackling seeming to fill the whole room. Nearby, the White Queen had let herself fall back to stand by the window, her hands clasped over her heart, beaming with joy. Alice dried her eyes again.

"Oh, dear," she laughed. "I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that question. Tell me….how _is _an Alice like an albatross?"

The Hatter's grin suddenly flattened, his face becoming grim and serious. Without warning he lifted her back up to his eyes so that she stood only a few inches away.

"I haven't the slightest idea," he growled softly. "Which means you've answered correctly."

His mouth cracked into a small smile. Alice smiled back. Reaching out, she gently placed her tiny hand on his cheek, stroking it as she looked glowingly into his shining green eyes.

"I've missed you, Hatter," she said, her voice suddenly shaking with emotion. "Only I was too foolish to realize it. But I see it, now….even when I couldn't remember your face, I missed you…..I've missed you every day that I've been away."

Tarrant Hightopp merely smiled.

"Just the same as you always were," he said quietly in reply. "_Always too tall or too small."_

Alice sniffed, a final tear trickling down her cheek, and stepped up onto his thumb for another hug. He closed his eyes as he let her lean against his face just to the side of his nose, her forehead resting near the corner of his eye, softly pressing her close with the ends of his fingers.

"Welcome back, Alice," he whispered. "Welcome _home_."

A/N; And there you are! Hope it halfway lived up to the ridiculous promises I made…..please leave a review and tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is welcome! Also, just to be clear, this is definitely NOT the end of the story! There is still more silliness to come!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N; Hello, all! _So, _so sorry about the long wait between updates….sadly, my computer has been away for repairs all week, and I'm going to have to send it away again next week, so I have only the rest of the weekend to try my darnedest to get chapter 7 out. I'll do my best! In the meantime, hope you like this little number…it's not quite as long as I'd hoped, but it _is _more or less nothing but a shameless heap of fluff. Next chapter will have substantially more plot advancement, I assure you. Also, just to be clear….I'm one of those old-timey losers who puts **THE END **in big bold letters at the end of my fics, so if those words are notably absent, it means there are more chapters to come! ( I say so only because it seems a lot of people were under the impression that chapter 5 was the end of the story, and it definitely was not ). Sorry for the long author's note….enjoy the chapter!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 6_

As Alice sat cross-legged on the table with her skirts spread around her knees, looking up with a soft, only faintly smiling expression of contentment and fascination at the Hatter's face, she suddenly realized that it had been nearly five minutes since either of them had spoken a word.

_But that's rather nice, _she thought to herself, smiling a bit wider, _to be able to just look at someone, really look at them._ _No one at home would let me stare at them without speaking for so long. _

The Hatter had his arms folded on the edge of the table in front of her, his chin resting on the back of his knuckles, looking back at her in watchful silence. Every few moments, his bright lips would part for just an instant into a broad grin, revealing his pale gold smile with the dark little hole between his eye teeth.

_I could fit my whole fist inside it, _Alice thought suddenly with an awkward little laugh.

The Hatter blinked at her, his smile returning.

"You know what they say about people who laugh at nothing," he remarked quietly.

"I _wasn't _laughing at nothing," she mechanically replied, but smiling all the same herself. She took a deep breath and let it out. "I know that there are so many things I want to say to you….but I can't seem to think of any of them right now."

"Perhaps you've misplaced them," he suggested. "Or…" He lifted one hand and extended his index finger, delicately pressing the tip onto the top of her head. "…perhaps there wasn't enough room for them in your infinitesimal little noggin, and they all flew away."

Alice smirked, swatting his finger away. "I suppose it's possible," she joked. "But are you implying that my _mind _has become smaller as well?"

"Certainly not. _Implying _would be sneaky and distasteful. I'm _proposing _it to your face, like a gentleman."

Alice shook her head, but kept smiling. "I'm so glad to see that you're yourself again. You don't know how terrible it was to see you like----" but she stopped suddenly, catching herself, when she saw the visible change come over him at her words. His smile straightened faintly, his eyes growing serious. He looked down at the table cloth.

"I'm sorry," she apologized quickly, rising to her feet and moving towards him.

The Hatter seemed to shake himself, then looked up at her again.

"Enough of that now," he said warmly, waving her away. "Bad for the teeth to apologize too much in one day, you know."

But she saw through his brushing off. Moving closer, she gently placed her small hand on top of his, looking up at him concernedly. "Hatter," she asked softly, searching deep into his eyes. "Are you sure you're alright now?"

He held her gaze for an instant, his mouth half open as if he were about to speak----but then he quickly dropped it again, forcing himself into a smile. Alice pursed her lips worriedly….why wouldn't he say it? There was still something there, something troubling him….she could _see _it, she was certain it was there.

"I say, Alice," he whispered, squinting down at her and sitting up taller to deliberately show off his bigness. "You _are _looking especially titchy today. Why is it that every time you pay me a visit, you're smaller than you were the visit before?"

She couldn't help smiling at him, in spite of her lingering concern. _It was just so good to see his face again….to __**know **__that he was real again, that he was more than the memory of a dream she'd once had…_

Catching her smile, the Hatter grinned. "I won't know _what _to expect the next time….will you have shrunk down to the size of a germ? Shall I bring the head of a hatpin for you to sit on? Or, perhaps, will you have shot up into a giant, the next time you come back from Up----"

All of a sudden, he stopped mid-word, hesitating….then he slowly closed his mouth, looking down again. Alice's ears perked up and she held his knuckle in both hands.

"What is it, Hatter?" she whispered fervently. "Please tell me. Something's still wrong, I can see it."

He stared down at his shoes for another moment, then stubbornly shook his head and forced a smile. The brim of his hat hid his eyes from her view.

"No," he insisted softly. "No….it won't do for today, not at all. We mustn't waste this precious time with trivial matters. It isn't important, Alice, don't spend another speck of thought on it. Not today."

She sighed in frustration. "But, _Tarrant----"_

"Ah, here we are!" a bright, airy voice interrupted them from across the room. They both looked up to see the White Queen sweeping through the doorway, her hands waving daintily back and forth as she walked. She drew near to the table and held her palm down for Alice to see; balanced precariously on the tip of her finger was a silver button serving as a plate, and on it was a crumb of brown cake half the size of her head. Mirana beamed, showing her pearly white teeth.

"Eat up, Sir Alice," she instructed. "…and you'll be yourself in no time."

Alice glanced back at the Hatter, but his face had lost all traces of their conversation.

"Go on," he waved his hands, smiling as he suddenly whirled up from his chair. "You're beginning to strain my eyes."

Alice sighed. _I suppose it will just have to wait…_

Picking up the great handful of cake, she bit off as much as she was able to chew in one mouthful and swallowed. It had a strange, thick taste, but was not wholly unappealing….it was somewhere between a sugary sweet and a piece of roast chicken. Following the Queen's cues, she made short work of the whole plate.

No sooner had she finished the cake than she began to feel its effects; she looked down at her toes as the queer sensation began coursing throughout her entire body, tingling to the ends of her extremities. A great pulse seemed to jolt through her, and all at once her head was as high as the Hatter's third button. She quickly sat down on the edge of the table, and in another moment she was large enough to reach both ends of it with her hands…Mirana and Tarrant's faces drew down nearer and nearer to her own, until her toes were brushing the floor and the room no longer looked like a great velvet cavern. For the first time in what seemed like ages, she was at long last her right size again.

The Hatter beamed knowingly, and without warning put his hands on either side of her waist and politely lifted her from the table and set her to her feet on the floor, though of course she was now well able to manage on her own.

"Thank you," she said gratefully to the Queen. "It does grow so tiresome, always being the wrong size."

"You're welcome, of course," Mirana replied graciously. "Now, Sir Alice….it is nearly four o'clock, and I'm sure you must be exhausted. Allow me to show you to your quarters where you may---"

"No!" she cut her off. "I mean….thank you, that's very kind, but….I'm really not very tired." It was a bald lie---Alice felt as if she might drop dead asleep to the floor at any moment---but for some reason, she couldn't bear the idea of leaving the Hatter again so soon, not now that she knew how badly he had needed her.

"Oh," the Queen replied, quickly resuming her smile. "In that case, I shall set about at once preparing a court banquet in honor of your return."

"Oh, please don't go to such trouble on my account…"

Mirana raised a hand to stop her. "Dear Alice, the cooks began boiling pumpkins the moment the Oraculum prophesied your coming! It would be practically beyond my power to _stop _them from celebrating now. There are so many who want to see you, to thank you. It's no trouble at all, I assure you. I'll send for you in the evening." She issued a small bow, then turned twirling and humming from the room. On her way out, she swept a long, pointed letter opener off one of the Hatter's tables and brandished it in the air like a sword, singing softly to herself. She noticed Alice's gaze and leaned back through the doorway.

"Perfect for suckling plums, you know," she smiled, then disappeared with a flourish of skirts.

Alice watched the place where she had gone for a few seconds, then turned back to the Hatter. He was watching her with warm, flashing eyes.

"That's _much_ better," he said, looking her up and down approvingly. "Even if it does mean my hatpin shall go to waste. And I must say that I envy your choice of footwear."

Alice snorted with laughter, glancing down and wiggling her striped, stockinged toes.

"I've McTwisp's housemaid to thank for that. I must find some way to repay her."

"Invite her to the party," the Hatter suggested.

Alice looked up at him, a nervous twinge suddenly gripping her. "You don't suppose….it isn't going to be a terribly _large _party, is it? I mean…I'm not sure if I…."

The Hatter moved towards her until they were standing eye to eye, and her voice trailed off. It _was _nice to be able to look at him properly again, her chin raising only a few inches instead of thrown all the way back. He simply stood there, his hands clasped in front of him.

"Alice," he said, and from the raspy stint of his voice she could already sense that he had slipped into one of his mad whims, "Do you enjoy conversing with butterflies?"

She blinked. "Yes," she answered simply, deeply.

He grinned mischievously. "I suspected as much."

Alice smiled faintly back at him, then sighed heavily, seeing that it was hopeless to try and persuade him to carry their previous talk any further. Looking down for a moment at his hands, she gingerly reached out and wrapped her arms around one of his, moving to stand at his side as if they were a happy pair promenading behind a perambulator down the streets of London.

"Let's go for a walk," she said. "Perhaps on the way we'll come across some of the things I meant to say to you….now that my noggin is of the correct proportion, again."

The Hatter looked at her, all of a sudden quite silent, and smiled plainly….but in that gentle turn of his mouth, the light blazing in his electric green eyes, she could see that he was happy. More than happy….there was something like a quiet, smoldering joy burning behind those eyes, so clear and obvious, it almost seemed to crackle visibly from the orange ends of his wild hair. It didn't matter how he might try to hide it with his ever changing mask of a face….his emotions were always fluttering just beneath the surface, always close enough for her to see instantly, like a flame behind colored glass. He inclined his head in a low bow and extended his free arm towards the doorway. Alice giggled in spite of herself, and together they set off through the door and down the long corridor.

After walking for a short while in warm, comfortable silence, they came into a grand, enormous hall of white marble columns and large windows. Alice recognized it at once as the throne room where she had first met the White Queen and delivered the Vorpal sword….merely standing in the familiar spot sent an instant rush of memories swirling about her. The Hatter noticed her wide eyed gaze.

"Thoughts?" he asked.

She blinked. "Yes. Lots of them."

"It _is _a lovely chair, isn't it."

It was indeed. The White Queen's throne---though of modest size and make compared with the gaudy thrones of European monarchs Alice had seen pictures of---was a beautifully carved seat of ivory-white stone, inlaid with glistening little rocks that glowed like soft pearls in the afternoon sun.

"It's such an astonishing palace," Alice agreed. "Nothing at all like the ones in my country."

"You ought to see the rest of Underland," the Hatter remarked. "Things were so terribly dreary when you were here last, you wouldn't recognize the place." Immediately after he said it, he looked as if he regretted the choice of words. As Alice looked at him, she thought she saw a flashing spark of yellow cross his eyes, but the next instant they were green again. "I mean….of course you'd _recog_nize it, it isn't as if…I didn't mean…ah….oh, look! What marvelous doorknobs!" he quickly changed the subject, releasing her arm and strolling hurriedly with his hands out toward a set of very large wooden doors in a hallway just outside the throne room. Alice followed him, looking on in admiration at the great beautiful archway, all carved mahogany inlaid with white stone. The Hatter pulled them open a crack, but gave a great start the moment he looked inside, hastily pushing them shut again and spinning around.

"What?" Alice asked curiously.

"Nothing!" the Hatter answered, a bit too quickly and much too brightly. "Nothing at all! Dreadfully boring rubbish in there. Why don't wetrot off to look at the gardens? There's the loveliest little molehill that I've been meaning to check up on since last spring…."

"_Tarrant_," Alice said sternly, crossing her arms over her chest. "What is in that room?"

The Hatter pressed his back closer and closer against the doors as she slowly walked toward him. His eyes darted nervously aside.

"Nothing worth seeing! A room full of junk, that's all it is. Tremendous waste of time."

Alice leaned closer to him, raising one eyebrow disbelievingly. "Really," she muttered.

The Hatter swallowed once, then nodded vigorously.

Alice shook her head. "You don't have much talent for lying, my friend."

"Well, enough of that!" he cried, seizing her by the shoulders and briskly spinning her around, marching her away from the door. "About that molehill---"

Alice sighed, taking him by the wrists and removing his hands. "There _there, _no need to push," she consoled. "We'll go to the gardens, if you'd prefer."

The Hatter seemed to deflate with relief. Alice smiled back, but behind her eyes flashed a mischievous little gleam.

"After all," he began as they set off at a slow stroll down the hall, "Who wants to spend a perfectly yellowish day poking through some dusty old------Alice, _no!" _he broke into a startled squawk as she suddenly tore away from his grasp and took off at a dead run toward the wooden doors, cackling with devious laughter. The Hatter stumbled and ran after her with his awkward, dancing steps, holding his hat on with one hand and reaching anxiously forward with the other.

"Please, please…_Alice, _wait---!"

But she had already reached the doors, seized the handles in both hands, and thrown them wide open. The rush of wind ruffled her skirts and her hair, and she gazed eagerly forward, grinning and gasping for breath……then stopped. Her face fell. Her arms dropped back to her sides.

Behind her, she heard Tarrant's footsteps slow to a halt. She looked at him over her shoulder, her face blank with apology. He looked back at her dejectedly, his shoulders slumping as he gave a great, low exhale.

"Oh, Hatter, I….I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…."

He sighed again, and moped toward her with his head bowed. "I'm sure you would have found out, anyway," he murmured, walking past her into the room. She looked after him for a moment, hesitating. He moved to stand in the middle of the wide, high-ceilinged chamber, then turned around to face her and looked up.

"Well?" he muttered glumly. "Close the door. You'll let in wimbletoffs."

Not caring what a wimbletoff was, Alice obediently shut the doors behind her and moved quickly to his side, turning in circles and gazing all about her as she did.

"The White Queen told me," she said, her voice quiet with awe, "…but I didn't imagine…..oh, Tarrant."

He merely exhaled again and shook his head. "I wish she'd have just thrown them away. It's _such _an embarrassment."

All around, surrounding them on every side and filling the room to absolute capacity, were hat stands, dark wooden poles each topped with three or four mannequin heads at different heights, the tallest at eye level---and on each head sat a half-finished hat, subdivided straight down the center, just as the ones in the Hatter's workshop had been. There must have been _thousands _of them; Alice turned round and round in amazement, scarcely able to see through to the walls on either side, the place was so thick with hats….it was a veritable forest of felt and flowers and plumes, in every color and size, shape and style imaginable….she glanced up and saw that even the ceiling was strung with hats, great longs rows of them lined up and pinned to hanging clotheslines across the rafters. For a full few minutes, Alice simply stared with her lips parted.

The Hatter put one hand to his eyes, massaging his tear ducts in his fingers and moaning softly.

"I'd like to burn this miserable room down," he growled. Alice looked at him in surprise.

"Hatter," she said softly. "You mustn't say things like that."

He only hung his head lower. "Yes, but you see…I've been in the habit lately of doing a great many things I mustn't. I suppose I….I simply ought to forget about hatting, altogether. It would seem---" he laughed once, sadly. "---it would seem that I'm the one who's lost their muchness, after all."

Shocked momentarily, Alice moved toward him and took the brim of his hat in her hand, gently lifting it high on his brow so that she could see his eyes. He didn't look up at her. She removed his hat entirely, and at last he lifted his eyes.

"Listen to me," she sternly, penetrating his gaze with her jaw firm. "You are a _wonderful _hatter. You're thefinest, most wonderful hatter I've ever met."

He smiled sadly and shook his head at her.

"Such kind lies," he muttered. "My favorite flavor."

With a small burst of anger, Alice suddenly lost control of herself, lifted her hand and pinched him sharply on the nose. He jumped, blinking with surprise and widening his eyes.

"Now _stop that!" _she snapped, whapping him smartly on the arm with his own hat. "Stop it this _instant. _How dare you think I would lie to you! When I say you're a wonderful hatter,I _mean it._"

"Look about!" the Hatter protested, lifting both hands to gesture to the collection surrounding them. "I have seen a great deal of success and a great deal of failure in my life, and unless my eyes have been stopped up with an atrocious lot of some very ugly business, then _this _is without question a veritable _monument _to the epitome of all hatting failures."

"You've been _ill," _Alice urged. "You haven't been yourself. And just because the hats aren't finished yet doesn't mean you can't _still _finish them."

He sighed. "Yes it does. No I can't. I don't want to look at them anymore. They remind me of….."

Alice watched him, waiting. "Of what?" she pressed.

"Of…." he grimaced, and looked away. "They simply _remind me."_

Alice's face fell in defeat. She could see that nothing she was saying was of any help to him….and yet….something inside her couldn't hold back the words. She couldn't bear to be silent while he was making the face that he was.

"But….they're all so _beautiful_," she insisted softly.

At that, the Hatter's eyes shot up, a flash of aquatic blue blinking once across them. Alice slowly moved away from him, weaving carefully in between the stands, studying first this creation and then that. It was the truth….bizarrely half completed though they were, the hats were still queer little masterpieces in themselves, each one meticulously hand-crafted and unique. Alice carefully lifted her hand and stroked the petals of a paper rose between her fingers. She felt the Hatter's eyes on her back, and she looked at him over her shoulder. He hesitated, his face torn with consternation as if he were debating something internally. He vigorously rubbed his hands on his waistcoat. After a short silence, he finally approached her and took her by the arm.

"I'll show you something," he said softly, and she dared to believe that his expression had brightened a fraction. Pulling her along behind him, he led her through the dense forest of hat trees until they came to the furthest corner of the room, where all of a sudden the stands cleared out into a little nook that was empty, save for a chair, a tall looking glass, and a folding screen concealing something in the corner of the converging walls.

Alice watched in silence as the Hatter moved away from her and went to stand at the edge of the screen. He took it in his hands and shot her a pleading, but simultaneously almost excited glance.

"Promise not to laugh?" he mumbled.

Alice lifted her hand and crossed her fingers. "Promise," she swore.

The Hatter nodded, shut his eyes, and pushed back the screen. Alice's mouth opened and she breathed in a long, slow breath of astonishment.

"They're…..they're….." she couldn't find a word.

"….for you," the Hatter finished for her, and at long last a wry little smile appeared on his face.

Alice walked slowly toward the separate collection of stands that had been hidden behind the screen. She turned to look at Tarrant in disbelief.

"For _me?" _she whispered.

He nodded shyly. "I…always thought that blue suited you most favorably."

Standing before Alice was a collection of perhaps a dozen or more of the most beautiful hats she had ever seen, each one worked in a different shade of blue, from cornflower to periwinkle to peacock to midnight. There were tall hats, flat hats, hats with brims and hats without, hats that were beautifully arranged pyramids of paper roses and lilies and birds wings, hats with lace veils and silk ribbons, hats with flowing trains of crepe and rings of studded blue beads. There was a masquerade cap in the shape of a horse's head with great blue globes of glass for the eyes, and one with no less than five life size blue jays crafted from feathers and felt, fluttering their wings and speckled all over with dew drops of costume diamond. Alice gaped with her mouth open for a full five minutes before she could tear her eyes away, walking slowly up and down the line of felt treasures. The Hatter was still watching her, biting his lips with anticipation.

"In all the months that I've been slowly filling this room, these were the only pieces I was ever able to finish," he timidly explained. "I made them in secret, so that no one at court would see them and want them. You….you do still _like _blue, I hope?"

She couldn't find the right words. For an awkwardly long moment she simply looked at him, her eyes drawn in amazement. Finally, she smiled, and she knew from the way his eyes brightened that he understood what she was trying to say.

"May I try them on?" she whispered.

Tarrant broke into a short, snorting fit of laughter, as if a wave of tangible glee came bursting out of him, then quickly composed himself and drew up the wooden chair that was sitting in front of the full length mirror nearby. Alice sat down and spread her skirts, and the Hatter veritably leapt to snatch the first hat that he could reach. It was a cerulean silk lady's top hat, all strung round with black lace. He placed it ever so carefully over her long hair, and she beamed at her reflection.

"Breathtaking," she spoke to his image in the mirror. He stole away the top hat and immediately replaced it with a sky-blue _cloche_, topped with an azure fan and a mass of paper violets.

"Charming," she grinned. They went on and on like that until she had tried each of the hats in turn, every time ascribing to it the first word that popped into her head…. _Spectacular. Regal. Awe-inspiring. Pinwheel. Playful. Collywobble. Wondrous. _

"…._beautiful_," she breathed simply as they came to the last one, a sunhat broader than her whole body and laced with blue daisies. The Hatter lifted it up, and in the mirror she could see his happiness glowing like a candle.

_As easy to read as a book, _she thought, smiling…._but at the same time, as impossible to fathom as a crystal ball._

"You like them, then?" he asked. Alice turned about in the chair to look at him.

"You've ruined me. I'll never be able to wear another milliner's work again."

The Hatter grinned.

"I _told _you you were the finest," Alice whispered. "From now on, you'll believe me?"

He didn't answer, but only extended his hand to her, and she took it, letting him lift her up from the chair.

Then….

"Alice," he said, surprising her as he grew suddenly as serious as a statue. She blinked, looking back at him.

"Yes?"

"Alice, I….I…." he stammered slowly for a moment, his long orange brow knitting in thought. He stared oddly at her, leaning closer and tilting her head as if trying to look behind her eyes. "I….I…"

"_Yes?" _she repeated, quietly.

He abruptly dropped her hand, pinning his arms rigidly to his sides. He held his mouth open, motionless, for another few seconds, as if he couldn't think of the right words. When he finally spoke, his voice issued out in a low, croaking brogue, and she realized that something within his constantly churning mind had suddenly shifted gears on her.

"Do you suppose, Alice…..that there exist many languages in which there is no letter _M?"_

She blinked again. Only when her shoulders drooped back down did she realize she had been holding them more and more taught as she waited for him to speak, waited for…..what? Why did she suddenly feel disappointed?

"I….I'm not sure," she answered. "I speak a bit of some other languages myself, and as far as I know, most of them use _M_s."

The Hatter was no longer looking at her. His gaze was far away, out one of the large windows.

"That is a great relief to me," he muttered in his deep voice.

Alice watched him a moment longer, then felt a sudden inexplicable squirmishness. She looked down at her stocking feet and began twisting her fingers. Every instant that he continued to avoid her gaze, she felt herself growing more uncomfortable.

"Perhaps…..perhaps I ought to find her Majesty," she suggested feebly. "It must be getting a bit late."

"Perfectly sensible," was all the Hatter replied. He had become like stone, his head turned away from her and staring into the distance.

_It shouldn't bother me so much, _Alice chided herself. …_his mood swings. I know perfectly well how he is…..his mind, it….it simply goes off by himself now and then. It's nothing to be upset about._

"Thank you for the hats, Tarrant," she said softly. "Truly. You don't know how much they mean to me."

"I don't….you're right."

She blinked, but refused to let herself be insulted. _He's only speaking his mind, after all_. Gradually, she made her way past him and began walking back towards the doors. She glanced back, and he hadn't moved from his sudden stock stillness.

"Well….I'll see you tonight?"

"As long as you keep your eyes open."

She nodded solemnly, biting her lip. "Well….goodbye then, for now."

He didn't answer.

Puzzled, but reminding herself over and over not to be hurt, she turned away from him and picked her way back through the forest of hats, at last coming again the doors. She paused for a moment with her hand on the knob, and looked back across the room. The Hatter was hidden from view behind the hundreds of hat stands.

_It's nothing, _she told herself firmly. _He is half-mad, don't forget. He doesn't mean anything by it._

"Nothing by it," she whispered to herself, and opened the door.

The instant the sound of the turning lock clicked into the air, there was a great start of commotion behind her. Alice whirled around to see the Hatter, pushing and shoving his way through the dense crowd of hat stands, knocking them over without looking at them. He marched straight toward her, stopping only when they were face to face.

"Hatter?" she asked, her face blank. _What was he….?_

"I remember what I meant to tell you," he said, and then, with complete and stolid seriousness, he got down in front of her on one knee, taking one of her hands in both of his.

Alice's heart rocketed into her mouth.

"H-Hatter, what…..what?" she stammered. _No, no….it couldn't….what was he….what in the world??_

"I meant to say," he continued, and then, to her utter surprise, he raised her hand daintily and kissed the back of it, with all the formality of a perfect English gentlemen, but marked with, in place of British pomposity, an unmistakable tenderness. "That…….I've missed you too, Sir Alice."

She exhaled a great, long rush of breath. Her heart was hammering wildly.

_Silly, stupid Alice….letting your imagination run away like that!_

But then, for a moment there, he had truly frightened her. Now that she saw what he was really doing, she was so relieved that it was all she could do to keep from laughing hysterically.

"You don't have to call me _Sir_ Alice, silly," she insisted, pulling him up from the floor.

"Don't I?" he replied. "Well then…." This time standing on his feet, he lifted her hand and kissed it again…and this time, she felt a very real, very distinct warmth blushing in her cheeks, and she immediately wondered why.

"_Alice_, sir," he said, emphasizing her name first; "I'm….glad that you've come back."

"I know," she said gently, smiling in spite of the redness of her face.

"No…." he contradicted suddenly, shaking his head. "You don't."

"I…." Alice stammered, then thought for a moment. _I…..don't? Perhaps…he's right. Perhaps I really don't know what he's been through. Perhaps he….._

But at that moment, her thoughts screeched abruptly to a halt as she realized that the Hatter was slowly inching his face closer and closer to hers.

"_Tarrant?" _she whispered.

There was scarcely a breath of air left between their noses…but at the last moment, he abruptly turned his head to lean over her shoulder----_her memory instantly went back to that quiet moment on the Frabjous day, just before she had left, when he had leaned toward her in exactly the same manner---_put his lips very close to his ear, and spoke softly to her;

"_I am tremendously…..monstrously, glad."_

Her heart pounding in her ears, Alice watched him as he pulled slowly back, looked her once more in the eye….then turned straight past her, pushed open the doors, and walked briskly away down the hall, the heels of his boots tapping loudly and the bits of loose ribbon from his pockets trailing behind like so many brightly colored kite tails. She turned to watch him, lips parted and utterly, hopelessly perplexed….when he was about halfway down the corridor, he actually broke into a run, his arms held out awkwardly in the air as if to balance himself…and then, like a mouse vanishing into a hole, he turned through an open doorway and disappeared from sight, leaving Alice standing in the open doorway with a very confused blush still lingering on her cheeks.

_Half-mad, indeed!_

After staring at the empty hall for a few seconds longer, she shook herself, set her mouth in a firm line, and closed the doors behind her.

"Don't want to let in the _wimbletoffs," _she muttered.

A/N; I'm not sure I'm totally happy with how I portrayed the Hatter in this chapter…I'm finding out that he's an extremely difficult character to write for, more so than any other I've done thus far. Please review and tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N; Yes! I actually managed to finish this chapter in time! It took until 4 in the morning and I'm dead from the neck up, but the chapter is done. I'm not sure how soon I'll be able to update, but hopefully it will be at least by next weekend ( cross your fingers that my campus techies will be on the ball with my laptop :P ). In the meantime, hope you enjoy chapter 7!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 7_

"_Alice?"_

_It was purple….it was purple….it had tasted like mud mixed with bitters….._

"_Alice. We're almost there."_

_Mud and bitters…dripping from the monster's tooth…but why was it bleeding? She had done something, she had---yes, its head, she had cut off its ghastly head with a sword. But…..why? And who----_

"_ALICE!"_

_She started abruptly, jerking about in her seat to turn and face Alexander, who had been prodded and needling unsuccessfully at her for almost a minute. He shook his head, his eyes rolling with impatience._

"_My word, Ms. Kingsleigh, have you learned to sleep with your eyes open? What __**were **__you so engrossed with out the window just now?"_

_Alice opened her mouth, but only blinked silently at him. She looked back over her other shoulder at the vast, golden landscape of rural India, the fields and dunes rolling steadily past as the train jolted and rattled its way along the tracks. She shook herself and glanced back at Alexander._

"_Nothing," she answered truthfully. "Nothing at all."_

_Her fellow apprentice sighed and sat down beside her, fidgeting with the cuffs of his jacket. "You certainly have a knack for intense concentration, Ms. Kingsleigh," he remarked, with only a touch of smiling platitude. "Or perhaps, for an intense lack thereof."_

_Alice offered him a polite shrug, but turned away without speaking to stare through the glass again. She worked fervently for a vain moment to recover the train of thought she'd been following, but…alas, in the blink of an eye it had succinctly vanished. She wasn't even sure of what it had been when she still had a grasp of it….it was nothing but the frail wisp of an idea that had floated randomly through her head, so bizarre and intriguing she couldn't help but pursue it……but then, it was probably nothing but nonsense anyhow. Purple blood, who'd ever heard of such a thing? And why in the world would she want to drink such a vile elixir?_

_Yes…it must have been nothing. Nothing but the memory of a dream._

_Just a dream…..a dream…._

…_..a dream……_

"Alice! Sir Alice! Wake up, lazy lobs!"

"Mmm--mmhuh? What?"

"Come on, now, can't throw a party while the guest of honor is buried to the chin in her bed. Up! Up!"

Alice blinked groggily into coherence, squinting and propping herself up onto her elbows, her hair falling in a mussed tangle over her shoulders. Mallymkun the Dormouse was standing on her stomach, her little arms folded impatiently and her foot tapping on the blanket.

"Hello," Alice muttered, still dazed from sleep. "What's going on?"

The Dormouse sighed, scampering down from the bed and climbing atop the nightstand nearby, where she struck a match as long as herself and lit the wick of a glass oil lamp. Warm, golden light flooded the dim room, and through the window beside her bed Alice could see the whole of a smoldering orange sunset. She must have been asleep for several hours.

"Her Majesty sent me to wake you," Mallymkun replied. "Don't you know that half of all Underland is packed downstairs in the ballroom, waiting just to catch a glimpse of you?"

Her words sent a sharp jolt shivering down Alice's spine and a hollow pit emptying in the middle of her stomach. She sat bolt upright, fully alert and on edge.

"Oh, no," she muttered, turning to put her feet on the floor. "Mally, it….it's not really as crowded as all that, is it?"

"Well," she answered, jumping back down from the table with her paw at the hilt of her sword, "Last I saw, there was a line to get in stretching through the front doors, out to the courtyard and all the way back to the gates. They ran out of seats at the banquet table and had to start bringing in bureaus and sundials for people to sit on."

The hollow pit grew steadily more hollow. Alice grimaced anxiously. "Oh, _dear," _she sighed.

"Now, come along, Sir Alice, you've got more courage than _that. _All the more reason for you to hurry and get yourself ready…take much longer, and they're going to start to get restless. I'll have to stick a few toes, things start to get _too _rough," the plucky Dormouse drew her sword from its sheath and brandished it once in the air to demonstrate her readiness.

"My word….do Underland balls always get so violent?" Alice asked with a mixture of curiosity and dread.

"Naaaaah, of course not. Though I did gut myself a lizard at the last one," Mallymkun declared proudly. "Blighter thought he'd get away with pinching the Queen's silver, but I showed him, I did. Just keep up on your toes, Sir Alice, and don't make 'em wait much longer, and you'll be fine. There's maids in the next room waiting with your clothes. Good luck!"

"Thanks," Alice murmured glumly, watching as the Dormouse scurried away through the cracked bedroom door. She heaved another long sigh, climbing out of bed and dragging her feet to the small room adjacent to her quarters. The dressing room was brightly lit with candles and strung with mirrors on every wall, so that her own face looked back at her a dozen times from every direction.

"Sir Alice!" the first of two maids looked up and beamed brightly upon her entering. They, like everyone else in Mirana's court, were clad in white from head to toe, smiling with their dark, expectant eyes. As she drew nearer, they lifted a dress up between them. "The Queen sent this for you personally, from her own closet," the second maid smiled. Alice's lips parted in awe at the sleek, beautiful gown…a sleeveless, high-waisted ghost of ivory-colored silk with a long, trailing cape of sheer gossamer veil hanging down from the shoulders.

"But it's much too lovely," Alice protested, running the smoother-than-water silk between her fingers. "I'd feel so out of place. Can't I wear what I've got on now?"

The maids glanced distastefully at Mary Ann's clothes, wrinkled and disheveled from their long and trying day, then at each other, their faces falling. "Oh, but Sir Alice, the Queen picked it out for you _herself…._it's just perfect for the occasion, and she'd be so disappointed if you didn't---"

"Alright, al_right_," Alice conceded, shrugging with exasperation. Knowing Mirana as she did, she was quite certain that she wouldn't have been disappointed if Alice had arrived downstairs wearing the set of sheets from her bed….but she was too nervous to bother arguing about it. Instead, she stood patiently atop a footstool with her arms spread out wide as the maids gleefully dressed her, pulling down Mary Ann's blue dress and stockings and tossing them over a chair without looking at them. As awkward and overdressed as she felt in the luxurious gown, however, Alice _did _have to admit---as the long, elegant garment slipped seamlessly over her shoulders and fell tumbling down past her feet---that never in her life had she worn anything so wonderfully soft. After dressing her and shoving her feet into a pair of satin slippers, the maids pushed her down in front of a vanity and began combing vigorously through her hair, yanking her head this way and that and ignoring her sharp gasps of discomfort.

"Is this…._necessary?" _Alice begged, wincing as the ivory teeth of the comb wrenched through a particularly stubborn knot. The two maids ignored her, instead chattering excitedly to each other as they continually changed places, trading off brushes and hairpins and powder puffs.

"I think _pearls _would best suit her shade," the first speculated, lifting a long string of them from a jewelry box. "What do you think?"

"No, no, it's far too early in the season for pearls. Diamond tipped hairpins, that's the thing."

"Diamonds, are you mad? They'll draw all attention away from the dress!"

Alice sighed as they argued back and forth for a moment before finally settling on white cornflowers. After what seemed like ages, they at last stood back and beamed down at her, clasping their hands in excitement.

"Finally!" Alice grumbled. "_Now _can I go?"

"Oh, yes, yes, you can look," they squealed, seizing her by the shoulders and spinning her around to face the mirror.

"That's _not _what I----" but Alice stopped as her face came into view in the looking glass, the soft light of the candles illuminating her image with a pale, golden glow. She blinked in disbelief at her own reflection, slowly lifting a hand and running her fingertips across her cheek. The maids squealed gleefully behind her.

"See, see, I _knew _she would love it!"

Alice didn't look like herself. Not at all. They had pulled her hair away from her face, curling it meticulously into a blonde waterfall down her back, and braiding dozens of tiny white flower buds in sweeping loops that met together in a knot at the back of her head. The neck of the dress, which was swooped down lower than any dress she would have worn back home, elongated her neck and made her feel years older than she was. They had powdered her skin until it glowed like the moon, darkened her eyes into smoldering embers, and painted her mouth so heavily that it sat there like a glistening, plum colored bow stuck to her face. Alice blinked, her colored lips parting softly.

"You're _stunning," _the maids insisted. "Simply ravishing, like a real lady of the court!"

_Lady._

Alice only stared, her eyes narrowing faintly. "Thank you," she said mechanically. "Now, please….could you give me a moment?"

The two women clucked a few more giggling compliments to her, but obediently let themselves out and left Alice alone in the mirrored room. For a moment longer, she sat motionless before the vanity, staring at the strange face in front of her. She tapped herself on the nose, pulled back her lip with her fingers and bared her teeth, but no matter what she did, she couldn't shake the strange disconnection she felt with the image in the looking glass, as if she were watching an entirely different person simply mimic her own movements.

_She looked…..old. _

_She looked like a __**lady**__. _

_Something about it just wasn't right._

Without warning, she suddenly heard the Hatter's voice, echoing in a memory at the back of her mind.

"_I always thought that blue suited you most favorably."_

Alice narrowed her eyes.

Jumping to her feet, she marched across the little mirrored room, seized a towel sitting on a marble-topped wash basin, dunked it in the water and began vigorously scrubbing at her face. She rubbed and rubbed until her skin was nearly raw, but she didn't stop until every trace of the make-up was gone from her mouth and her eyes. The white towel was a mess of black and burgundy when she threw it down. She then lifted both hands and attacked her hair, scuffing it wildly and raking her fingers through the fussy braids, shaking her head like a dog until every tendril had fallen loose. When she finally stopped, she was flushed and out of breath, her hair loose and curling in all directions with a few of the white flowers still clinging desperately to her locks. Nodded her head firmly in approval at the now familiar, bedraggled looking girl in the mirror, she marched proudly back into her bedroom.

"A corset is like a codfish," she muttered to herself as she crossed her chambers and approached a folding screen stretched over a collection of hat stands, just tall enough to peep over the top. A sharp grinning spreading on her unpainted mouth, Alice threw the screen aside and put her hands on her hips, surveying the little grove of hat trees and thinking carefully before finally making a selection and ramming it down over her head.

"See if _I'm _going tobe a lady," she swore beneath her breath.

Alice could hear the sounds of the gathering crowds long before she reached the ballroom. For a long, anxious moment, she lingered at the top of the spiral staircase that would lead her down into the enormous hall. She pressed her back against the smooth, cool marble wall, her eyes closed and her heart thudding. The noises were everywhere---voices talking, shouting, babbling, laughing, singing, footsteps, hands clapping, animals squawking and whinnying and growling---the ruckus echoed in the corridors and resonated through every room of the palace. Indeed, the party had spread far beyond the ballroom, guests of all kinds filtering through the gardens, the courtyard, and everywhere else….she was sure it was only a matter of time before someone discovered her hiding at the top of the stairs.

Alice took a deep, slow breath. _Don't be nervous, _she commanded herself. _It's just a party._

Bracing herself, she straightened up, pulled the midnight blue top hat Tarrant had given her further over her brow, and started down the steps.

After three winding turns of shadowy staircase, all at once it came into view….Alice's jaw dropped of its own accord as she stepped into the light, her senses each bombarded simultaneously with the wondrous sea of sights and sounds. The ballroom was a vast, sprawling room of the brightest glimmering stone and marble, circled all around by enormous statues of white knight, horse head chess pieces. The floors and walls glowed a golden off-white in the light of a hundred or more torches placed all around the vast perimeter, and festive strings of lighted paper globes, each filled with handfuls of floating sparks that Alice took to be fireflies, hung suspended between tall poles. Down the center of the room was a narrow banquet table perhaps an hundred feet long, laden with cascading fountains of wine, towers of fruit, and glistening tureens filled with all sorts of fantastical dishes Alice had never seen before. And the Dormouse hadn't been joking---every chair at the table was full, and as a result, all around it, as well as pushed here and there against the walls, were all sorts of odd bits of furniture that had been dragged in from other parts of the castle as makeshift seating. There were ladies in billowing gowns perched on dressers and bureaus, three or more court nobles sharing space atop seven foot armoires and wardrobes, people on steamer trunks, people on stone sun dials pulled in from the gardens, and interspersed among them a veritable menagerie of creatures; rabbits, foxes, bears, lizards, turtles, dogs, cats, pigs, deer, horses, an endless rabble of mice, voles, moles and weasels, and of course every sort of bird Alice could think of, the air positively thick with them as they swooped and flew back and forth above the crowd. The ballroom was filled to bursting….there were only a handful of spaces where one could make out the white of the marble floor, and there the people were dancing in merry waltzes back and forth with one another. From some unseen place, a soft, cheerful music was emanating throughout the hall. As Alice surveyed the grand spectacle before her, her courage buckled and the flutter of butterflies in her stomach was so great it nearly dizzied her. Timidly, she retreated a few steps up the staircase.

_Perhaps if she slipped out to the garden, no one would…._

"There! There she is!"

To her horror, Alice heard a voice cry out loudly and a gasping hush of silence immediately filled the ballroom. Every single head swiveled to point in her direction, the party staring at her en masse. A hot blush of heat bloomed over her face and neck as she felt the press of a thousand eyes all over her. Just as she was contemplating turning and making a mad dash back up to her room, the sea of guests suddenly parted, and Mirana floated out into the open, tip-toeing straight to the foot of the staircase with her fingers aloft. The voluminous white skirt of her dress drifted around her like a cloud, and her silver crown gleamed in the torchlight. She caught Alice's gaze, looked her once up and down, her eyes lingering a moment on her tussled hair and her tall hat….and smiled. Alice smiled weakly back, the smallest fraction of her courage returning.

"Underland," the White Queen announced, her delicate voice lifting high and filling the room with airy music, "May I present, your Champion…..Sir Alice the Great, of Upperland!"

The room instantly exploded into deafening cheering and applause. Mirana warmly extended her hand, and Alice accepted it gratefully, letting herself be led down the stairs and into the sea of eager, wide-eyed faces. The moment she set foot on the ballroom floor, the crowds inundated around her. Everywhere she looked, faces and hands and wings and paws all reached out toward her, a thousand voices talking at once, each clamoring for the closest glimpse of her. They brushed her arms, touched her hair, tugged at the skirt and cape of her dress….she could make out only the smallest bits of what they were saying as they called her name over and over, a veritable melee of unbridled excitement.

"Gently now, gently, away with you all!" the White Queen chanted, though not unkindly, waving her hands and shooing the crowds back. "Give our poor Champion some air!"

The guests obediently thinned out, but they continued whispering and squealing and jostling amongst themselves. At long last, the disembodied music started up again, and the party returned to its normal gaiety of talk and dancing.

"You must forgive them," Mirana said as she took her by the arm and they walked side by side toward the great banquet table. "Tales of your valor in the slaying of the Jabberwocky and toppling of my sister's regime have taken root like dandelions all across Underland….it's no wonder there was such a large turnout. You've become one of the peoples' most beloved heroes, Sir Alice."

Alice blushed a bright, glowing pink, and the butterflies inside her heightened their fluttering. "I….didn't realize," she murmured bashfully. All around her people were watching, pointing to her and smiling and then whispering fervently to their neighbors.

"No need to be shy, dear," Mirana said soothingly, patting her on the arm. "You've every right to be a bit overwhelmed. Ah…here we are! Your rightful place at the head of the banquet."

Alice looked up and felt as if a great stone had dropped into her stomach; they were standing at the very end of the enormous, sprawling banquet table, where a tall chair was waiting empty for her. Every head seated all the way down the table was turned to look at her, watching eagerly. Her grip tightened on the White Queen's arm, retreating to almost hide behind her.

"Oh, no, no, _no_," she whispered, shaking. "I can't sit there with all those people watching me, I simply can't!"

"But my dear, you must be famished," Mirana protested. "Wouldn't you like some sustenance?"

"Well….I…." Alice stammered, looking down. Truthfully, she _was_ starving, her stomach growling and complaining even as they spoke….but she would rather go hide in a corner and chew on her shoes than have to sit at that table with hundreds and hundreds of eyes watching her eat. Mirana saw the consternation in her face and smiled understandingly.

"Here," she said, reaching out and plucking from the side of a turkey what looked like a long, roasted kebab of strange little vegetables. She handed it to Alice with a small nod. "Go and enjoy the party. The crowds will calm down soon enough."

Alice gave her a faint, grateful smile and took the kebab in her hands, attacking it with her teeth and devouring the vegetables one by one. They were something like little potatoes and mushrooms, unlike any she'd ever tasted, but thoroughly delicious. She picked her way aimlessly through the crowd, drinking everything in with her eyes and nibbling until she had licked the wooden spear clean.

"Alice! Yoo-hoo, Alice!"

She glanced up in the direction of the voice, turning all around, but no one was looking at her.

There was a little tug at the bottom of her dress, and she looked down. It was the White Rabbit, dressed in his finest clothes and sporting a large glistening monocle over one pink little eye.

"McTwisp," she smiled, crouching down beside him. "I'm happy to see you again."

"I'm happy to see that you've finally found your _memory _again," the rabbit retorted.

Alice winced. "Yes. I'm _terribly_ sorry about that. You should know that I would never, ever forget you on purpose. I just don't know what---"

McTwisp waved her away with one paw. "Oh, I'm only kidding you. All in the past, Sir Alice, all in the past."

She smiled. "I saw Mallymkun earlier."

The White Rabbit sighed. "Yes, I'm sure she and Thackery are making mischief about here someplace_. _Uncivilized ruffians, the both of them. It can grow dreadfully tiresome to always be in the company of so many _mad _people."

_Mad. _Alice's ears perked up at the word, and she had just opened her mouth to speak when suddenly there was a great crash of commotion coming from the banquet table, and she and McTwisp quickly looked up to see what it was. Ladies and gentlemen seated nearby at the table were crying out in alarm and jostling to get out of the way as plates and cutlery went flying all around them, crashing into silver tureens and shattering on the floor. The March Hare was standing on the table, crouched down beside a great pyramid of oranges, laughing intermittently to himself and flinging things in every direction. Mallymkun was dancing anxiously beside him on the table, pulling at the ends of his waistcoat.

"See, now, Hare, _behave _yourself, or I'll have no choice but to----Thackery, are you listening to me??"

The White Rabbit groaned loudly and put his paw over his face. "They _never _learn," he muttered crossly. "Forgive me Sir Alice, I really ought to go and---"

"Wait!" she interrupted. "I was going to ask you something….you haven't seen the Hatter, have you….? McTwisp?"

But it was too late….he had already set off toward the table, shouting irately to Mallymkun and the March Hare, who had now got hold of a large broiled fish and was swinging it round by the tail as the onlookers alternately laughed and cried out, ducking to let apples and handfuls of strawberries sail over their heads. Alice straightened up, biting her lip in frustration. She turned in a circle, searching the crowd with her eyes, but nowhere could she spot the rise of a worn brown top hat, or the flash of a fiery orange shock of hair. _Where was he? She hadn't seen him since he'd run away from her that afternoon. Was he still feeling alright?_

"_I'll see you tonight?" she had asked._

"_As long as you keep your eyes open," he'd answered._

_As long as I keep my eyes open…. _

"Well, well…if it isn't our prodigal child, come to her senses at last."

Alice at once recognized the sleek, velvety voice abruptly murmuring in her ear. A sly smile crossed her face, and she turned her eyes to peer over her right shoulder.

"Hello again, Chess."

The floating sliver of teeth chuckled softly, and in one go the furry blue body of the Cheshire Cat materialized before her. He grinned broadly, the vertical pupils of his aqua-colored eyes shrinking and growing as he spoke.

"Finally remembered who you are, I see," he crooned. "Silly, loony little Alice, always losing her mind."

"I've _not _lost my mind," she replied defiantly, but smiling all the same. "And even if I had, better to be always losing my mind than losing my _body."_

"It'll do no good trying to insult me," Cheshire grinned, resting his chin in his paws and resting his paws in the air. "I'm quite above such childishness, you know." He rolled in a circle, drifting upside down as if to prove his point. Alice smirked.

"Yes, I _ought_ to have known. But I _am_ glad that you're here…I never got a chance to properly thank you for rescuing me from the ocean."

"Oh, tut tut. Don't give yourself any grand ideas. I was simply doing as the Oraculum instructed."

"Well, thank you, all the same. It was very decent of you."

He rolled his eyes, then, as if to change the subject, gestured to her with the end of his tail. "What a charming hat," he commented, circling once around her head and peering at it from all angles. "Now I _wonder _who might have given you that….."

At the mention of her hat, Alice's smile straightened at once into a serious line. "Chess," she asked hopefully, "You haven't seen the Hatter tonight, have you? He said he'd be here, but I can't seem to find him anywhere."

"Tarrant?" Cheshire asked, his eyes flaring brightly with recognition as he rolled back to look at her right side up. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I've just been to see him."

Alice's face lit up. "Where is he?"

"I had a nice chat with him, in fact. Good to see that the poor chap's feeling like his old mad self again," the Cheshire Cat went on, ignoring her question. "He was in a positively _dreadful _way for such a long while. Don't believe I'd ever seen him so glum. Of course, it may take some time for him to wind back up entirely, what with you forgetting him again and all…don't know if you noticed, but from what I can see it very nearly---"

"_Chess_," Alice snapped, pinning him with a harsh glare. "_Where _is he?"

"Goodness, no need to be rude," Cheshire muttered in mock offense. He evaporated into a wisp of blue smoke, then reappeared on her other side with his paw pointed in the direction of a large open doorway that led out of the ballroom and onto a veranda overlooking the castle gardens. "He was out _there _when I spoke to him a moment ago."

Alice crooked one side of her mouth into a wry smile. She reached up and scratched behind Cheshire's ear, catching him by surprise. "Thank you, Chess." Distracted for a moment by her caressing fingers, the cat's eyes lolled back and his grinned widened in satisfaction, his head leaning into her touch. Alice giggled, and Cheshire abruptly snapped out of it, blinking and pulling away in embarrassment which he quickly tried to conceal. He cleared his throat once, crossing his arms and looking away.

"Hmph. Nice to have you, as always, Sir Alice," he grumbled sarcastically, floating away toward the banquet table where McTwisp and Mallymkun were now fighting unsuccessfully to wrestle away from the March Hare a crystal punch bowl that he holding over his back like a turtle shell.

Not wasting another second, Alice lifted her skirts in her hands and set off at a brisk trot towards the door, carefully weaving her way through the mingling party guests. She breathed in deeply as she stepped out into the cool, sweet night air, the fresh breeze washing over her and seeming to dull the noises of the enormous party inside to a dim memory. A large, white stone veranda wrapped about the wall in either direction, a low wall and tall white pillars overlooking the lush gardens below. A few handfuls of guests were lingering about, enjoying the view with glasses of wine or puffing delicately at long-stemmed pipes. Alice looked wildly all about her, walking down the veranda and peering behind every pillar, until at long last, she spotted him. Her face spreading in a wide smile, she set off nearly at a run, her slippered feet tapping loudly at the stone floor.

The Hatter was sitting perched on top of the wall just beside one of the large columns, his feet drawn up and his hands holding tight to his ankles, his face almost hidden behind his knees. Alice drew near to him, slightly out of breath and beaming, her cheeks glowing with exertion.

"_There _you are!" she exalted happily.

The moment she spoke, Tarrant jerked his head up, starting terribly and uttering a sharp yelp of surprise. He jolted so greatly that Alice in turn also shouted, just as he went toppling backwards over the edge of the wall.

"Hatter!" she cried, rushing forward and grasping after him a fraction of an instant too late.

_THHHSSSHUMP. _

Alice leaned forward over the wall and looked down. The Hatter was lying sprawled on his back, half sinking into the leafy hedge just below the veranda wall. In spite of her few seconds of shock, Alice had to stifle a small laugh at the stunned, wide-eyed expression on his face.

"Oh, Hatter, I'm so sorry!" she called. "I didn't mean to frighten you! Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, quite alright," he replied gruffly, reaching up and taking hold of the hand she extended to him. Puffing with effort, she helped to pull him back up over the wall, his shoes sliding clumsily as he climbed to his feet. "It wasn't your fault," he assured her as she helped him to straighten his coat and hat, brushing stray leaves from his chest and plucking a twig from his hair. "I've had a long standing feud with hedges. They refuse to address any of my grievances."

Alice only smiled at him, the last traces of her nerves finally disappearing at the sight of his face. She had only been away from him a few hours, and yet as silly as it seemed…she had already missed him. Straightening to his full height, the Hatter looked down at her and blinked suddenly, as if truly seeing her for the first time; his eyes traveled slowly down to her feet, then back up again, lingering for a moment on his own handiwork, the dark blue top hat. For one fleeting moment, he wore a queer, distant expression that Alice couldn't quite define.

"Hatter?" she asked, and he blinked again, shaking himself as if breaking from a trance. He smiled at last.

"Alice," he declared softly, picking up a single tendril of her hair between his thumb and forefinger and lifting it out to the side, then letting it fall again. "You're a dismal ragamuffin."

The words sent swells of warmth up through Alice's chest, and her eyes shone at him. "Thank you," she said quietly. It was exactly what she'd wanted to hear, and she hadn't even known it.

"Are you enjoying the festivity?" he asked.

"Yes…much more, now," she answered, smiling at him. "But I've been looking for you _every_where. What were you doing out here by yourself?"

The Hatter stammered a moment, his mouth working without words. "I…ah…I was just….er, coming out to look for something unconditionally _motionless_. Yes, too many things all twitching and moving about inside. Much too unsettling."

"I see," Alice murmured, narrowing her eyes inquisitively at him. There was a definite uneasiness about him, he was no good at hiding it.

They stood together in silence for a moment, looking out over the torch lit gardens. Nearby, a flock of lightning bugs that were lazily drifting over a large white rosebush were startled by a bat zooming haphazardly overhead, and they all fluttered quickly to hide inside the blossoms, making the white roses glow with pale illumination. Alice crooned softly in admiration and leaned over to rest her elbows on the stone wall for a closer look.

"Look at that!" she remarked, reaching out to touch the glowing edge of the rose with her fingertip. "I've never seen anything so lovely."

"_Neither have I_."

Alice froze. Something in the Hatter's voice---something soft and longing,a low, deep-throated sort of rumble she had never heard from him---made her turn back slowly to look at him with questioning eyes, and when she saw him, the very hairs at the back of her neck seemed to stand up on end. He was…._staring _at her. Not at her face, not into her eyes, not at any one part of her…simply just staring, as if seeing and not seeing her at the same time, his face turned so low that the brim of his hat hid his eyes. Alice felt her face growing suddenly warm, and she straightened up, uttering a small cough.

"Hatter? Something wrong?"

He jerked, looking quickly up at her, and the breath caught in her throat when she saw his eyes gleaming a bright, golden yellow for the fraction of a second, then quickly jolting back to green. He looked flustered and uneasy.

"Of course not," he answered, quickly schooling himself into a calm demeanor and turning away. "Of course not. Let's return to the party….I don't at all like the way those hedges are looking at me, now."

Nodding, but still watching him uncertainly, Alice took him by the arm and walked with him back into the bright ballroom. The March Hare had finally been subdued by McTwisp and a fox in a tailcoat, one of them on each side holding him into a chair. Mallymkun pushed a cup of tea in front of him, and he calmed down long enough to drink it. The Dormouse turned and caught sight of Alice and the Hatter, eagerly bounding down from the table and running towards them.

"Well, what have _you _two been up to?" she demanded, folding her arms. "Everyone's been asking after you, Alice. Poor form to disappear from your own party, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I've always been a great supporter of poor form," Alice answered, her face completely serious. Mallymkun eyed her a second longer, then broke into her delightful cackling.

"Good answer."

Alice cracked a smile.

"And _you, _Hatter," the Dormouse accused, scurrying forward and climbing nimbly up his side to stand on his shoulder. "No more of this dreadful _sulking. _Alice has come back, hasn't she? She's got her memory back, hasn't she? You've got no reason to be unhappy _now. _Show us a smile, show us our old Hatter!"

To Alice's great surprise, the Hatter's white face suddenly darkened with what she dared to believe was the faintest hint of a blush about his cheeks. He shot Mallymkun a scathing look.

"But just look at me, my _mus musculus _friend," he muttered through clenched teeth. "I'm already the absolute paragon of giddiness."

The Dormouse waved him off with her, laughing again. "He's changed since you been gone, Alice. He's gone _shy _on us."

But before the Hatter could make a reply, the atmosphere of the ballroom was broken suddenly by a loud, warbling musical note, sustained for one long moment high above the din of the party. When it trebled off, a great cheer erupted through the room, and all of the guests began hurriedly climbing to their feet and arranging themselves in pairs out on the floor. Alice looked all about her, her heart pounding faster with excitement as a steady, bouncing musical rhythm began to sound.

"What's happening?" she asked.

"It's a jig!" the Dormouse cried. "The Gumbundulus jig! Come now, Tarrant, you _must _show her how it's done." She snickered again, scaling back down his chest and onto the floor. Alice turned a mischievous grin in his direction.

"Yes, show me how it's done," she pestered him.

The Hatter looked about him thoughtfully at the gathering dance couples as the music picked up into full sway, the vibrant darting and humming of what sounded like hundreds of stringed instruments all singing in unison. With an aloof, faintly disdainful expression that was clearly concealing an overwhelming desire to do just as Mallymkun suggested, the Hatter calmly dusted his hands and began rolling up the cuffs of his sleeves. Alice couldn't stifle her short laughter.

"Hurry, hurry, they're starting!" she urged him, but giggling all the same when he bent down to tug pretentiously at his socks. He was deliberately stalling now, just to tease her. "Come on, come _on!" _she laughed, grabbing him by the shoulders and jostling him. He finally betrayed himself with a broad smile, straightening up and looking her in the eye.

"Well," he said, turning his head sharply to one side and cracking his neck. "It's no _futterwacken, _but….I suppose the Gumbundulus does have a certain perfunctory appeal."

"Go on then, show me how to dance it," she pressed. A bright gleam flashing across his eyes, the Hatter reached forward without warning her and took her wrists in his hands.

"Place your left swatter _here," _he instructed, moving her hand to cup around the back of his neck, "…and your right mitter, _here," _he moved her other hand to press, flat-palmed, on his chest, directly over his heart. The moment she felt his heartbeat throbbing beneath her fingers, Alice felt an unexpected little jolt of electric sensation rush through her. She look questioningly into his eyes, trying to ignore the rapid fluttering of her own heartbeat as she failed vainly to ignore his.

"This…this is how it's done?" she asked, her voice squeaking faintly.

"Yes, yes," the Hatter replied as if it were nothing. "And now, I take frick and frack here, and place them _there," _he held her waist with his left hand, "…and _there," _he gently lifted her chin, holding it lightly with the fingers of his right hand. Alice snorted in slightly nervous laughter…but looking around her, she saw that all of the other dancing couples were doing the same thing, holding each other in the awkward stance and twirling great circles on the dance floor in time with the music.

"Now, on the beat of 3 and one half---"

"Three and one _half?" _Alice repeated.

"Of course, silly, three and one half….now, just follow my lead, and do as my feet do. Here, there, a pair, _and…."_

At a loud, thrusting note of the music, the Hatter took off in a sweeping jump to the side, pulling Alice along after him. She drew a sharp breath, looking down past his hand to try and follow the swift, rhythmic steps of his tapping boots. Left, right, back and out, left, right, back and out….she stumbled along clumsily after the Hatter's graceful movements, struggling to find the right time.

"_Oh," _she sighed, laughing briefly with exasperation. "This is impossible!"

The Hatter simply gave her a penetrating look. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that," he smiled, only making her laugh again and fall even further out of rhythm.

"It's because you're trying to count my steps," he explained, laughing lightly himself. "Don't follow my toes, follow my _heartbeat. _Count it out, count it out."

Alice closed her eyes, willing herself not to blush, and felt for the pulse of his heart under her palm. It was quick and jumping, fluttering like a bird under her touch….slowly, gradually, she began to find her steps with the beats, and she found that the music was waltzing to match. After a moment, they were spinning and turning and jumping in perfect time with each other. Alice opened her eyes and grinned.

"You've got it, you've got it!" the Hatter cried happily, picking up the pace and twirling her faster. She yelped in surprise, then shouted with laughter as he suddenly dropped her into a low dip, the ends of her hair brushing the floor. He held her there for a ridiculously long moment, her hands clutching tight around his neck as she breathed heavily and looked this way and that. She noticed for the first time that the ceiling of the ballroom was covered with hundreds and hundreds of tiny dark shapes, and after another moment of watching she realized that they were bats, all hanging upside down by their feet. She _then _realized that each of them was holding a tiny violin, and that they were the source of the music that was filling the hall.

"I say!" she remarked in astonishment. "Are those _bats,_ playing up there?"

"Well it wouldn't very well do to have a school of mackerel playing the song on the ceiling, would it?" the Hatter replied, still holding her up off the floor. "They'd fall down on top of everyone's heads. And besides, they haven't any fingers."

"But bats haven't any fingers either."

"Nonsense! They have two, one on each wing. That's more than enough for a talented musician."

"Alright, two is more than enough," Alice conceded, gasping and giggling as the blood began to rush to her head. "Now lift me up, lift me up!" The Hatter obediently swept her back to her feet, and they picked up in time with the beat again, jumping and stepping in perfect harmony. Alice suddenly realized that a great ring of spectators had been forming around them, watching and cheering them on. Soon they were the only couple left dancing, all of the other guests gathered in the circle and clapping in time with the music. Alice felt a stir of self-consciousness, and she lost a step.

"Don't worry about them," the Hatter whispered to her, and the way he said it made her turn swiftly to gaze into his eyes. "Not _one _of them is any more able to pluck a chicken with their toes than you are."

Looking deep into his wide, brightly flashing smile, Alice couldn't help but think to herself how remarkable it was that she understood exactly what he had meant by such an observation.

They danced and danced and danced, and just when Alice was beginning to feel that she couldn't dance another step for want of breath----and it didn't help that the Hatter kept deliberately making her laugh by moving his eyebrows up and down----the Gumbundulus jig finally came to an end, the bats and their violins fading off into silence. The crowd erupted with a round of applause, in which Alice and the Hatter joined. Stepping back from her, Tarrant removed his hat and bent forward in a deep, gracious bow. Beaming at him, Alice replied with a low curtsy.

"A perfunctory charm, indeed," the Hatter declared.

"Yes," Alice agreed. "But…" she leaned closer, the tips of their hats touching, as if concealing them in a secret space separate from the watching crowd, "…I think I shall always be partial to _futterwacken_."

Suddenly, a respectful hush fell over the party, and everyone looked up to see the White Queen standing at the edge of the circle, smiling graciously and clapping her hands slowly.

"I _have_ always loved to watch you dance, Tarrant."

The crowd rippled with faint laughter and a fresh round of applause, as the Hatter made a flustered gesture and looked down at his feet. Alice put her hand on his shoulder, smiling.

"Don't worry about them," she said quietly, making him look up at her with a shy smile.

"And now, dear friends, all," the White Queen announced, raising her voice over the mild din of voices, "I believe it is time for us to----"

_BBBBAAAMM!_

"Your Majesty! Your MAJESTY!"

A simultaneous gasp sounded from the crowd as every head in the ballroom jerked to look suddenly in the direction of a pair of large double doors, which had just been burst unceremoniously open, sending the report of a deafening _bang _echoing through the room as they struck the walls, and in ran a passel of queer looking figures, all shouting desperately for the Queen. Among them were several men, an owl flying above them, and a pair of wise-looking badgers. Each was dressed in scholarly white robes with vestments of different colors. They were running together in a circle, carrying something hidden between them. Gasps and cries of astonishment rippled through the crowd as the guests parted to clear a path toward the Queen. The men and animals rushed up to her, puffing and out of breath.

Puzzled and brimming with curiosity, Alice leaned toward the Hatter. "Hatter…who are those people?" she asked, narrowing her eyes questioningly on the small party.

A few seconds passed, but she heard no answer.

"Hatter?" she repeated, turning to look at him.

Tarrant wasn't looking at her. He was standing rigid as a statue, his faze frozen in a blank, disbelieving stare, his eyes fixed unmoving on the handful of scholars and the object they cradled preciously between them. As Alice looked at him, his brow slowly narrowed, his eyes changing to a glaring yellow, then brilliant orange.

"Hatter? What is it? Who are they?"

He wouldn't look at her. He slowly shook his head. "_No_," he whispered. "_Please….no…"_

Alice bit her lip worriedly, looking back to where the group stood. _What was going on?_

"Magicians! Star-gazers! Please, calm yourselves," the White Queen raised her hands and spoke to them gently. "What is the matter?"

The scholars turned, nodded to each other, and placed the large object they carried between them down on the floor, and Alice saw that it was a scroll. Her eyes widened with recognition. One of the magicians knelt down, took one side of the scroll in his hands, and thrust it fervently forward, the whole of it unrolling out on the floor before their eyes. A great intake of breath rushed through the crowd, and everyone began talking at once.

"_The Oraculum," _a voice directly beside Alice's head whispered. She turned quickly to see Cheshire Cat hovering beside her, his face, for once, not marked with an ear to ear grin, but rather staring grimly down at the long, magical calendar spread across the floor.

The White Queen looked back at the scholars, her eyes suddenly sharp and penetrating.

"Then….it's happened?" she asked in a low voice.

The magicians nodded in unison, and the owl, who had perched itself on one of the men's shoulders, extended his long wing to point to the furthest spot on the long, long expanse of the Oraculum, where the last picture was marked in black ink, the lines and figures wavering gently back and forth.

"Yes," the owl said gravely. "The Oraculum has foretold another prophesy."

The voices in the ballroom intensified. Mirana quickly hurried to where the owl pointed, dropping down to her knees and scrutinizing the picture intently. The scholars moved to stand behind her, and Alice took a few cautious steps forward.

After studying the Oraculum for a full minute, the White Queen grew very still. Slowly, she lifted her head and looked back at the royal scholars, her darks eyes glistening with a foreboding light. Alice watched her with her heart in her mouth. Mirana caught her gaze and held it for one long, silent moment, during which her expression communicated nothing more than a faint glisten of regret. Slowly, the White Queen rose to her feet. She turned and whispered a few words to the scholars, who nodded in obedience and hurriedly rolled the Oraculum back up, removing it quickly and quietly from the ballroom. The guests were buzzing like bees, each asking the other question after question that none of them could answer. Finally, after closing her eyes for a moment, the White Queen lifted her head and raised her hands for silence.

"My friends….my noble subjects," she said, her voice soft and quiet, yet somehow loud enough to be heard throughout the entire hall, "I am afraid I have sad news to report."

A murmur rippled through the ballroom, and the Queen again motioned for quiet.

"But before I tell you of this prophesy, I want us to again remember how blessed each of us is….how blessed _Underland _is….to have once again been visited by our brave Champion, Alice….to have been _delivered _by Alice from the terrible reign of the Red Queen, to have been ushered into this great era of peace and tranquility that we know now."

Alice jumped at the mention of her name, looking timidly round her as the party began clapping uncertainly, cheering her again even while marred with apprehension at the White Queen's solemn tone. Slowly, her eyes filled with tenderness, Mirana approached Alice and touched her softly on the shoulders.

"Alice," she whispered gently, quietly enough so that no one else could hear. "It's…it's about you."

Alice stared back at her, her heart pounding in her chest and a cold sweat breaking in her palms. The tone of Mirana's voice filled her with an inexplicable dread.

"What is it?" she asked, her voice scarcely audible.

Mirana closed her eyes and turned her face down.

"The Oraculum has prophesied that you will leave Underland in exactly thirty-one days, when the moon waxes full and bright in the midnight sky. On that night, Alice Kingsleigh will leave Underland….never to return."

Alice froze.

The sweat stopped, and instead, a stiff, paralyzing chill seemed to spread throughout her body, rooting her to the spot.

Mirana lifted her hand to her mouth, all at once closer to crying than Alice had ever seen her. Sniffing once, the Queen turned away and hurried from the ballroom, disappearing up the winding staircase. A rush of worried voices immediately broke out from the crowd, and half a dozen ladies in waiting went running after her. The talking grew louder and louder, everyone bustling in a sway of panic and confusion, demanding to know what the Oraculum had predicted. Soon the hall was drowned in a din of frantic voices.

Alice didn't hear any of it.

She stood like a statue, staring straight ahead and seeing nothing, her arms hanging limp at her sides. Mirana's words were echoing over and over in her mind, like the ring of a church bell.

_On that night, Alice Kingsleigh will leave Underland….never to return._

_Never to return._

_Never to return._

"Never to return?" Alice whispered.

"Alice? Alice, snap out of it!"

It was Cheshire, floating before her. He was watching her with worried eyes, strange-looking because of the deep frown that was so uncharacteristic to his visage.

She scarcely heard him. She stared straight past him as if in a trance.

_Never to return._

And then, in the blink of an eye, all she could think of was him.

"_Hatter_," she said abruptly, spinning around to look where he had been standing.

He was gone.

"Hatter?" she called, turning in a circle and scanning the crowd with her eyes, but unable to spot him anywhere. "Hatter!"

Desperation rising swiftly in her chest, she took off at a run towards the door to the veranda, tossing her head wildly in search of him.

"Alice, wait! Where are you going?" Cheshire called after her. She didn't answer him.

Alice burst out onto the veranda and began quickly walking up and down it, looking behind every pillar, her heart beating faster and faster as she grew increasingly frantic.

"Hatter! Hatter! _Hatter!"_

She looked out over the garden, peering desperately into the semi-darkness, but she could see no trace of him anywhere.

"_**Hatter**__!" _

Her voice echoed in the empty night, but there was no answer.

All at once, it was as if a wave of pent up emotions rolled over her, toppling her to ground, and Alice felt something give deep inside her as tears sprang to her eyes. Turning around, she leaned back against one of the stone pillars and slid slowly to the ground, curling up and hugging her knees to her chest. She bowed her head as the tears began to flow steadily, her shoulders shaking with her quiet gasps and sobs.

_No….no….._

"_On that night, Alice Kingsleigh will leave Underland, never to return."_

_No. No. She couldn't. She __**wouldn't. **__It wasn't right, it wasn't fair. She couldn't leave, she refused to leave……she didn't care what the Oraculum said. She wouldn't leave Underland forever._

_She wouldn't leave __**him **__forever._

"Alice," a gentle voice spoke from above her.

Sniffling, she looked up to see Cheshire floating before her. He was wearing an expression of sadness and sympathy she would not have thought possible of him. She smeared her hand over her face, struggling in vain to dry her tears, but more continued to flow. Gently, Cheshire lifted the hat off her head and placed it on the ground beside her.

"Alice," he said softly, brushing a strand of hair aside with his paw. "Alice….I'm so sorry."

It was as much as she could do to look back at him and shake her head. A fresh wave of sobs came bursting out of her, and she slid her knees down and covered her face with her hands.

Suddenly, she felt a warm, soft weight resting in her lap, and blearily she looked down. Cheshire was lying across her legs, purring quietly as if to try and comfort her, rubbing gently against her stomach. Still gasping with her cries, Alice gratefully wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his long, soft fur, her crying muffled into his back. He purred and curled his tail around her arm.

They sat there together on the veranda for what felt like a long, long time.

_Alice Kingsleigh will leave Underland….never to return._

_Never to return._

Unbeknownst to everyone at that moment, deep into the dark twists and turns of the palace gardens, far away from the veranda and the lights and the crowds and Alice…..the Hatter sat beneath the cover of a cherry tree, his back against the trunk and the pale petals drifting slowly down around him, illuminated by the soft moonlight. His head was hung down low, his chin almost resting against his breast, his hat hiding his eyes from the world.

_Mirana closed her eyes and turned her face down._

"_The Oraculum has prophesied that you will leave Underland in exactly thirty-one days, when the moon waxes full and bright in the midnight sky. On that night, Alice Kingsleigh will leave Underland….never to return."_

The words repeated over and over and over through his mind, running faster and faster in terrible circles all through his head, until his whole body was shaking….and still, he couldn't stop the unbearable echo. He curled tighter into a ball, clenching his teeth and covering his ears with his hands, but nothing he did could change what he had heard.

Slowly, his whole spirit crumbling into a great nothingness, the Hatter lowered his head, put his face in his hands……and cried.

A/N; Chapter 7, everyone. Please leave a review and tell me your thoughts!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N; Hello, all! Forgive me for the wait on this chapter….between computer trouble and schoolwork, I've not had much free time for fan fiction lately. I was hoping to make this chapter a bit longer, but I wanted to get it posted before I went home for the weekend, so please, bear with me, and I'll try to get the next update out as soon as possible! Enjoy, and Happy Easter, everyone.

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 8_

That night, for the first time in longer than she could remember, Alice dreamt no dreams.

Upon the forceful insistence of Mirana and the others, she had fallen into bed almost three hours past midnight, still dressed in the white gown, and still with no news of the Hatter. She had searched the entire palace for him for what felt like hours upon miserable hours---looked into every room, opened every door, asked any and everyone she came across---but it was all to no avail. No one had seen hide nor hair of him since he had vanished wordlessly from the ballroom...no one had even seen him leave, with all the distress the Oraculum's prediction had caused. She had fallen into bed with dried tears staining her face, and her mind heavy with the absolute certainty that she would never, _never _be able to get to sleep….and yet, her head had scarcely hit the pillow before she was enveloped in the blissful void of unconsciousness, sleep stealing over her and burying her completely in its blackness.

And she had no dreams.

It was the sound of the grandfather clock standing against the far wall of her chambers that finally woke her. Her eyes fluttered open as she dimly became aware of loud, clanging chimes, filling the room with reverberations as they sang out four successive bellowing gongs. Alice groaned softly with her mouth shut, closing her eyes again and folding the pillow over her ear. It wasn't the noise itself that bothered her, so much as the _tone_. It seemed unfathomably, unbearably cruel that anything should be allowed to make such a boisterously cheerful sound after what had happened last night.

After another moment of hazy, aimless thought, Alice opened her eyes and sat up, a strain of apprehension suddenly tightening through her as she narrowed her gaze at the clock.

_Four chimes? That didn't make any sense. How could she have slept for only an hour? It felt as if she'd been dead to the world for days…._

Puzzled, she climbed out of bed and made her way around to the large nearby window, her bare feet cold on the stone floor and the train of her now badly wrinkled and slipping dress dragging behind her. She swept the curtains aside with both hands and squinted as a flood of pale white light filled the room. Bracing herself on the sill, she leaned close to the partitioned glass and peered out over Underland. The sky was an ominous-looking marble of pearl gray and dark blue, the sun obscured behind storm-threatening clouds. A soft, steady rain was falling, pattering rhythmically against the glass. After a few troubled seconds, it dawned on Alice that she must have slept straight through the first half of the day, and it was already four o'clock in the afternoon.

"No…..no, _no," _she muttered, a thin twist of panic slowly knotting inside of her and growing sharper and sharper by the second. "No, no, no!" she turned and half ran out of her bedroom, hiking her skirts improperly high as her feet slapped the floor. She looked wildly about her, but there was no one in the corridor outside her room, and everything was dead silent. Her breath rushing faster, she turned and hurried down the stairs.

As she ran, Alice cursed herself bitterly for letting herself sleep so late. _What if there had been word of the Hatter? What if he'd come looking for her, and she hadn't been there? She should have been awake, she should have been…._

"Alice!"

Recognizing Mirana's voice at once, Alice slid to a halt in the hallway outside the kitchen and looked eagerly through the doors. The White Queen and a small handful of her ladies in waiting were sitting at a round table set sparsely with a few modest tea things, an untouched cup of tea resting in each of their hands. Mallymkun was sitting on the table beside a silver pitcher of cream, and she rose quickly to her feet as Alice entered the room and approached them. Alice was so frazzled and elated to see them, she didn't even notice the strange second glance that everyone at the table gave her as she drew near.

"Have you heard from him?" she asked immediately, her voice a still-groggy croak of anxiety. "Has anyone seen him?"

"I did," Mallymkun answered gravely, not having to ask who she meant. "I ran into him climbing out a lower window in the southeast corridor early this morning, just after sunrise."

Alice's heart gave a tremendous leap, her eyes shooting wide as she immediately woke to full alert.

"Is he alright?" she demanded frantically. "Did he say anything? What happened to him last night? Where is he? Is he here now? Answer me!"

"Please….try to calm down," the Queen said gently, rising to her feet and offering Alice her chair. Alice took a deep, shaky breath, forcing herself to steady. She accepted Mirana's chair, noticing with no small pang of guilt the dark, heavy circles under the Queen's eyes, the inescapable note of sadness and weariness marring her lovely face. It was clear that she had spent a sleepless night. "Have some tea, dear," the Queen muttered softly, drawing a clean cup in front of Alice and pouring out the steaming brew. Alice took another deep breath, calmly opening her eyes and piercing Mallymkun with a pleading gaze.

"Please, Mally," she said quietly. "Tell me what happened."

The Dormouse rested her hand compulsively on the hilt of her sword and heaved a small sigh, looking down at the tablecloth. "He was leaving the castle when I found him. I don't know when he came back last night, or how long he'd been there….he wouldn't answer when I asked. All he told me was that he was going home, and that he'd be grateful if Thackery and I could stay at the palace for another night…to give him some time to himself."

As quickly as Alice's spirits had risen, they sank down again, and her face turned in a puzzled frown of disappointment.

"Then he isn't here," she said, her brief elation deflating instantly. Her shoulders slumped and she looked down to stare at her tea. "He wants to be alone."

_He doesn't want to see me, _was what she really meant.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence at the table, the Queen's ladies in waiting either exchanging anxious glances or becoming suddenly very engrossed in stirring their cups.

"I'm sure he'll be back soon," Mallymkun insisted consolingly, walking closer to Alice. "You must understand everything he's been through these last two years. He just….he just needs a bit of time."

"Of course," Alice murmured, trying to sound reassured and failing dismally.

Mirana stood behind her and placed a caring hand on her shoulder, frowning thoughtfully.

"Alice," she said with just a touch of her old brightness, as if trying to cheer her up with brief change of subject, "May I ask what it is you have on your face?"

Surprised by the question, Alice looked up at her, confused. "My what?"

"Your _face_," the Queen whispered tactfully, gesturing to her own visage with her finger to indicate the placement of the markings. "You've got a bit of something blue on your…..well, all over, really. Here," she picked up a large spoon from the table and handed it to her.

Curious, but with no clue what she was talking about, Alice eagerly held the shiny spoon in front of her face and peered into it. She squinted in dumbfounded astonishment when she saw it, right there, as plain as day; bright, indigo blue squiggles painted all over her forehead, her chin, her cheeks, and straight across the bridge of her nose. The held the spoon closer and closer until her breath clouded it, then she looked back at the Queen with a mixture of amazement and intrigue.

"It….it looks like writing," she remarked.

"Let me see, dear." Mirana bent over closer to her to gaze at her face, her dark eyes scanning the markings thoughtfully. "Yes….I believe you're right. The hand is terribly sloppy, but….perhaps I can make it out." Mallymkun and the ladies in waiting all leaned forward expectantly, brimming with curiosity. The White Queen pointed her little finger at Alice's face, tracing the lines as she slowly deciphered them aloud.

"'_Dear….Alice_…'" she read. "_'…if you will please forgive the…..untimely abruptness of this…. invitation….it would give me….immeasurable pleasure…..if you would join…..'" _Mirana crouched lower, descending to read the writing on the lower half of Alice's face, "'_….me for afternoon tea…..at the windmill…at 3 o'clock. Sincerely and cantankerously yours, T.H.'"_

Alice's eyes lit up like shooting stars.

"_T.H.? _Tarrant Hightopp!" the Dormouse snapped the fingers of her paw.

"_The Hatter!_" Alice cried, bolting up from the chair so swiftly she nearly knocked it on its back. Not stopping to give a second thought to the strange notion of Tarrant slipping secretly into the palace and writing a message on her face in blue ink while she slept, she set off immediately for the door. A thousand thoughts were chattering in her head at once, but all of them merged together into one irrefutable point, repeating itself over and over. _Tea at the windmill….3 o'clock….tea at the windmill…..he __**does **__want to see me, he does!_

Some of the ladies in waiting yelped and started, the White Queen jumped aside in alarm as Alice darted past her, and Mallymkun leapt down from the table to run after her.

"Alice, wait!"

Already at the doorway, Alice reluctantly skidded to a halt and looked back, her heart thudding in her ears.

"I've got to go _now!" _she insisted impatiently, throwing an anxious glance at a clock hanging on the kitchen wall. "It's more than an hour past 3, I'm terribly late! He'll think I'm not coming!"

The Queen and Mallymkun exchanged furtive, concerned expressions, but Alice could see it was clear to both them that nothing they said or did would stop her from going. Mirana looked back up at her and sighed softly, folding her hands and walking firmly toward her. She took Alice by the shoulder and marched her out into the hallway.

"At least let me give you something warm to wear," she offered quietly. "We can't have you go gallivanting off in the rain in nothing but a ball gown."

Alice looked at her briefly in surprise, then smiled gratefully. "You've been so kind to me, Mirana," she said, suddenly a trifle ashamed of her rash behavior. After all, the White Queen had been through just as bad an ordeal as herself in the last twenty-four hours…perhaps worse, if the sleep-deprived marks of her face were any indication. "How will I ever repay you?"

The White Queen merely smiled tiredly, leading her into what looked like a small guest chamber.

"You forget, Sir Alice, that if weren't for you, Underland would still be in the ruinous clutches of my sister and the Jabberwocky. It's _I_ who am only trying to repay _you_." The Queen opened a large wardrobe and pulled out a long, hooded, pale blue riding cloak, white overdress, and warm cotton trousers. "But…if it's a _favor_ you'd like to do for me…." she handed the clothes to Alice with a gleam of sad, but somehow laughing warmth in her eyes. "…you could try _not_ catching cold."

Less than twenty minutes later, the hood of her cloak pulled protectively over her head and the Hatter's handwriting scrubbed from her face, Alice was hastening along the winding, overgrown road leading through the fields and forest surrounding the White Castle. For some inexplicable reason unbeknownst even to her, she knew the way to the Hatter's windmill as well as if she'd journeyed there a hundred times. Her feet seemed to fly left and right of their own accord, following twists and bends in the road that her eyes didn't recognize but her heart somehow did. Perhaps it was the ingrained memory of her previous two visits to Underland…perhaps it was some invisible connection, stretching like a guiding thread between she and Tarrant…..whatever it was, she didn't care. All she knew was that she had to get to the Windmill as quickly as her feet could carry her.

The rain was pelting her cloak, growing heavier and louder each minute….fortunately, the material seemed to be at least partially waterproof. Her shoes and trousers, however, were soon soaked to the knee and caked with mud. The road was swiftly filling with puddles, and she was soon forced to slow to a trotting jog in order to keep from slipping and falling with every step…but still she went on. She refused to stop, refused to let the inclement weather delay her an instant longer than was absolutely unavoidable.

Alice wasn't entirely sure _why _she suddenly needed to see the Hatter with such urgency…after all, the words of his message hadn't sounded particularly desperate. But then, perhaps that was just what worried her---the vague, nonchalance that channeled through his short message, the absence of emotion…it wasn't like him. It reminded her chillingly of the way he had been when she first returned, the dead, unfeeling gray stare of his eyes as he slumped in the chair….and then, with the Oraculum's prediction, his disappearance from the party, without so much as a word to her or anyone….

Alice pulled the cloak tighter around her shoulders, clenching her jaw against the bitter, whistling wind.

_No. She wouldn't let that happen to him again. This time, she was here._

_This time she could make a difference._

Finally, after what felt like hours of trudging through biting wind and the cold rain, which had turned from a bothersome drive into an absolute downpour, she came to a bend in the road where the trees thinned out into a sparse, airy thicket, and above the low treetops she could see the bowed, stationary wings of the broken down windmill where the Hatter, the Dormouse, and the March Hare kept their home. Her heart leaping with hope, Alice jumped over a fallen birch and ran hurriedly across the grassy glen, smiling even as she panted for breath. She rounded the final bend and burst into the open grove…..and stopped. Her smile fell, replaced with a pained gaze of both wonder and sadness.

"Oh….._no," _she sighed heavily, slowly walking toward the dreary scene before her.

On the overgrown cobbled yard in front of the windmill sat the long row of tables and chairs, just as she remembered it….the ratty white tablecloths, different stools and seats of all sizes, the hopeless mishmash of porcelain and glass and silver tea things, no two pieces alike….even the dingy old phonograph standing on its spindly legs nearby. It was playing a soft, rag-tag tune as she drew near, the song clearly meant to be pleasant and cheerful, but rendered utterly melancholic in the dim, gray light of the rainstorm. A flash of lightning streaked across the mottled sky, followed by a great clap of thunder as the branches of the trees wafted sideways in the wind.

There, at the head of the table in his worn old wingback chair, was the Hatter. He was slumped down with his hands hanging limply over the armrests, his head hanging slack and his hat half covering his face. Water was trickling in streams from the brim of his hat, and his hair and clothes were soaked. In front of him was laid out what, a few hours ago, must have been a meticulously arranged spread for a wonderful tea party. The normally chaotic mess of the table had been straightened and cleaned slightly, two unbroken cups placed mouth down on their saucers with spoons on the side, and a long-necked copper teapot resting on a cozy. There was a daisy sticking out of its spout, and a few random odds and ends from the house seemed to have found their way to the table---the chains from three or four pocket watches, a rusty thimble, a garden trowel, a snuffbox filled with buttons and walnuts----but it was still clear that a great deal of effort had gone into making things as presentable as they were. Alice's face fell even further when she saw the plates of biscuits, rolls, and other pastry that had been long since ruined in the rain. A three-layered tier of teacakes had been reduced to pale-colored lumps of mush, and a glass bowl of treacle was overflowing and staining the tablecloth with a thin, syrupy rainwater mixture. Alice came to a halt a few feet from the wingback chair, looking over the heartbreaking scene with parted lips and soft eyes.

"_Poor Tarrant_," she whispered beneath her breath, the sting of guilt burrowing deep into her heart.

_How long has he been waiting out here?_

"Hatter?" she said softly, moving closer to his chair and pulling back her hood, not caring about the heavy rain that half-drenched her hair within seconds. "_Hatter?"_

He didn't move. She noticed that his chest was rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm, and as she leaned over him she could hear gentle snoring. He had fallen asleep.

The pangs of guilt pressed her even harder, and she bit her bottom lip as she carefully lifted the brim of his hat to look at his closed eyes, his blank, peaceful face. "Hatter," she whispered. "Wake up. It's Alice."

Gingerly, she put two fingers on his shoulder and prodded him. All at once his eyes popped open and he started, jumping awake so suddenly she gave a small gasp and pulled away. The Hatter bolted upright in the chair, splashes of rainwater falling into his lap from the brim of his hat. He blinked for a moment, peering in confusion down at the table, then at his own hands, lifting them up to eye level and fanning his fingers as if he'd never seen them before.

"Hatter," Alice repeated gently, and he jumped again at the sound of her voice, registering her presence for the first time.

"Alice!" he cried in surprise, rising to his feet so quickly he bumped the table, rattling the tea things. "You've come! Thank goodness, I thought you might have…er, that is….I was starting to worry you hadn't gotten your invitation."

"No, no…I got it, alright," she mumbled, looking down. "Hatter, I'm sorry I didn't….I mean….I overslept, and I didn't….if I'd have known, I would have….how long have you been sitting out here in the rain?"

"Oh, who's to say?" he dismissed her with a careless wave of his hand, pulling the pocket watch from the breast of his shirt and flipping it open. A burgundy liquid that looked like wine came spilling out of it, and he tapped the glass with his fingertip. "Blasted thing's been two days slow for weeks now, can't trust a word _it _says."

In spite of herself, Alice couldn't help but smile faintly at him. The Hatter caught her expression and grinned in return, hurriedly extricating himself from the chair and the table.

"Come, come now, have a seat," he urged, pulling out a chair for her. Not knowing what else to do, she sat down and let him push her close to the table, quickly resuming his own place. Alice wasn't sure, but there was definitely something about him that was…._off. _He was just a bit _too_ cheerful. The thunder clapped deafeningly all around them, and he raised his voice to speak over it.

"Normally, I'd insist we have a bit of polite conversation to begin with, but seeing as we're so dreadfully behind schedule, and we already know each other's names quite well, perhaps we'll skip straight to the friendly banter." He leaned close to her and whispered hoarsely, as if there were someone else around to keep a secret from, "Between you and me, I've never much cared for _hellos _and _how do you dos. _They sour the cream."

Part of Alice wanted to chuckle, but she couldn't. There was a thick lump in her throat, and it was growing thicker by the second.

"Hatter," she said softly as he lifted the tea pot, tossed the daisy out over his shoulder, and turned the cups over. "I think we should talk about…last night."

"I do hope you aren't opposed to sunflower," he said brightly, as if he hadn't heard her. "It's in perfect season this time of year. Of course, if you _are _opposed to flower tea I'm sure I can whip up something a bit dirtier." He poured the amber liquid into her cup, raising the teapot unnecessarily high above his head. When he'd finished, Alice discretely dipped the tip of her finger into the tea when he wasn't looking. It was ice cold.

"Did you hear what I said?" she asked gently. "I said we need to talk about what happened at the party."

"Oh, dear, the music's stopped," the Hatter said, looking up in the direction of the phonograph. He climbed over the table, upsetting plates and pitchers as he went, ignoring Alice's small sounds of protest.

"Hatter, you're not _listening _to---"

"Trouble with this machine is that it always wants to wax philosophical just when guests arrive," the Hatter complained to her over his shoulder as he fiddled and cranked at the phonograph. "I've _told _it to stick with more cheerful topics, but will it listen to me? No, of course not…."

"_Hatter," _Alice snapped, sharply this time, as she rose to her feet and pinned him with a pressing stare. "Listen to what I'm saying."

The Hatter flinched slightly at her voice, hunching over the phonograph. He stood there frozen for a few seconds, his face hidden…then, knocking the box smartly on it's side, he made a small sound of triumph and straightened up, tugging victoriously at his shirt cuffs as the music started up again. He spun around, his face bright with a smile that Alice immediately saw through. The tension was rippling visibly behind his eyes, and he was struggling with all his might to keep it hidden.

"Let's have a dance!" he said, his voice cracking with an almost inaudible twinge of nervousness as he half-skipped back to her and seized her by the arms before she could speak. "You'll do just fine with this one, it's only a simple waltz…."

"Hatter, _stop." _Alice ordered as he began twirling her in circles. She clung to his arms to keep herself from falling, her eyes narrowing and something almost like anger beginning to well up inside her.

"You're not counting! Count with me….one two three, one two three, one---"

"Hatter…_I said STOP!" _she shouted. Her voice seemed to echo, even through the raging noise of the storm.

He stopped.

The moment the angry words had left her mouth, Alice wished she could swallow them back up. The forced smile finally melted away from the Hatter's face, and as he looked at her his eyes slowly changed to a pale, faded yellow, his gaze lowering to stare at the ground between them. The rain pounded them fiercely as he gradually loosened his grip on her shoulders, letting her go as his arms fell down to rest at his sides. For what felt like an agonizingly long moment of silence, they stood there together. Alice couldn't tear her eyes from his face. Her mouth moved soundlessly, but she could think of nothing to say. Finally, like opening a great rift between them, he moved away from her, his shoulders slumped and his head hanging low. He collapsed back down in the wingback chair, and leaning forward, heaved a long, harrowing sigh.

Alice blinked, jumping as if breaking from a trance, and immediately ran after him, dropping to her knees beside his chair.

"I'm sorry," she stammered. "I didn't mean to---"

"_I am a fool," _the Hatter interrupted her, whispering softly as he lowered his face into his hands. "A fool, a fool, a lump-brained fool….that is what I am."

Alice shook her head, the lump in her throat grown so thick it was nearly choking her. "No you're not," she countered defiantly, raising herself higher and taking him by the shoulder. "Of course you're not."

"Can you forgive me, Alice," he asked quietly, his eyes still hidden in his palms. "….please…please forgive me…for all this nonsense…."

"Stop, please stop," she begged, shaking him once without meaning to. The broken tone of his voice was unbearable. "You've done nothing wrong. I only want to talk to you, Hatter. Why won't you talk to me about what happened?"

"I thought…" he muttered to himself, sinking further forward so that his elbows dropped between his knees. "I only wanted….." but his voice trailed off, and Alice found herself shaking him again almost desperately.

"_Talk _to me, Tarrant!" she pleaded, raising her voice over a rolling peal of thunder in the distance. "Please, I---I---aaaa_choo!" _she sneezed suddenly, covering her mouth with her hand and sniffling. She realized all at once that she was shivering with cold.

The Hatter looked up at her, his face abruptly steeling into a hard gaze. "Come with me," he said suddenly, rising to his feet and lifting her to hers. Before she could speak, he pulled the hood back over her head, wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and began marching her firmly toward the windmill. "Let's get you in where it's warm."

She didn't argue. She bent her head lower beneath the hood to hide her cheeks, which had inexplicably begun to flush brightly. The Hatter led her to the front door of the windmill and ushered her inside, closing the door behind them and shutting out the noise of the still-playing phonograph. The interior of the windmill was nothing like one might have guessed from looking at its broken and poorly kept exterior….the little sitting room in which Alice found herself was, though by no means lavish or richly furnished, one of the coziest places she had ever seen. It was terrifically messy, with what looked like the contents of a dozen or more pawn shops strewn everywhere about the room, cluttering every available surface. The furniture, though old and worn, was charmingly mismatched, and crammed into the oddest of configurations….there were no less than four writing desks in the small room, two stacked upon each other in the corner and two more standing back to back in the middle of the floor, and one of them covered with what looked like an entire uprooted gorse bush, the clods of dirt still hanging from its roots. There were armoires and armchairs and a slew of bookshelves, and more half a dozen oil lamps with colorful glass shades spread throughout the room. There were teacups and trays scattered everywhere, and in almost any given direction one could spot artifacts of the milliner's trade….ribbons and fabric and feathers and sewing things, and all along the walls were hats of all types and colors hanging on picture wire.

Once indoors, the Hatter quickly pulled the wet cloak from Alice's shoulders and propelled her toward a shabby, but remarkably soft settee beside the large red brick hearth and sat her down on it. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words stuck in her throat as he whirled a thick patchwork quilt over her head and shoulders, drawing it closed at her neck. She took the edges in her hands, pinning him with a questioning look as he straightened up. He held her gaze for only an instant, then, with an awkward grimace, turned and hurried to the woodbin where he gathered an armful of kindling and laid it in the fireplace. He produced a book of matches from his pockets and fumbled with three of them before he finally got the paper lit. He blew a few times on the crackling sparks, then began muttering to himself as the flames slowly grew to life in the hearth.

"Bloody, stupid….copintank, Gainsborough, muff-box, Papakha….in the _rain, _no less, make you catch your death of cold…._Panama, deerstalker….fool, _you bloody _fool…."_

Alice slid the quilt back from her head, looking at the Hatter's back with a puzzled expression.

"Hatter," she said, softly but firmly. He lingered another moment over the hearth, then sighed and removed his hat, tossing it over his shoulder without looking at it. His wet hair sprayed in every direction, the water dripping from the ends of his clothes and pooling on the floor beneath him. Finally, he turned to look at her, and the turmoil of emotions playing in his eyes was almost enough to make her wince. Sliding over on the settee, she motioned for him to sit down. He rose slowly to his feet, looking at her hesitantly.

"Please," she murmured, pleading quietly with her eyes. After another few seconds, he exhaled in resignation and removed his soaked coat, sitting down stiffly beside her in his peacock blue shirtsleeves, his back ramrod straight, staring down at his hands. Alice carefully reached forward and laid her hand over his. He flinched, hesitated only an instant….then gratefully accepted her touch, grasping tightly onto the ends of her fingers.

"Tell me, Tarrant."

He looked up at her. She kept her mouth pressed into a firm line, forbidding herself to falter or look away. "Tell me what's going on."

A small, sad smile of disbelief appeared on his face, the gap in his teeth almost seeming to wink at her as he slowly shook his head.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked.

Alice stared back at him, her eyes searching for the answer but finding nothing. He gave a small, crumbled laugh and looked back down.

"I thought…" he said lowly, his voice deep and far away. "…I thought, that….instead of dwelling on mean and miserable things….I thought we might make the best of the time we have. I am so…._so…._tired….of miserable things. I can't bear them any longer. I just thought that…while you're still here….we should try and enjoy ourselves."

Alice narrowed her eyes at him. A light flickered in her mind.

"The tea party?" she breathed, almost inaudibly. He snorted with mocking laughter, nodding.

"I so love holding them in the rain, I sometimes forget that not everyone shares the same…affinity. Can you forgive me, Alice, for dragging you out on such a horrid afternoon?"

"What do you mean, _while I'm still here_?" she pressed, ignoring his supplication.

A grim shadow passed over his face, and he hung his head further down, the light seeming to drain away from him. Alice's eyes widened.

"No," she murmured. "You don't believe what that prediction said. You _can't."_

"I knew, you know," he muttered in reply. "I knew, the moment they told me that you had come back, I knew….it was only a matter of time. Just common sense---you've never stayed with us for very long, why should this time be any different? Just a matter of hours and minutes until you were gone again. I thought that…rather than talk about it, we ought to simply…_enjoy _the time we had. I've….missed you, Alice." He looked up at her suddenly, catching her in a gaze so sharp and penetrating, it nearly took her breath away…it said what the words could not, expressed to her just how badly _missed _failed to describe the truth of what he had felt….then, just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. "One and thirty days until…..until…." his voice faltered, as if he were unable to say the words. He swallowed heavily, his fingers twitching restlessly beneath hers. "…if these are the la…the last days we're going to have together….I just…want them to be _happy_."

As Alice stared at him, her eyes began to sting. He smiled down at the floor, down into nothingness….a smile so faint it almost wasn't there.

"I want them to be happy, so that….maybe, when you go back, you might….for just a little while….you might remember me."

The stinging threatened to extinguish itself in wave of tears. Alice bit them back, a fiery resolution bursting suddenly inside of her and filling her with a determination she had never known before. With her jaw clenched and her eyes stubbornly refusing to let loose the tears welling behind them, she reached up and took the Hatter's face gently in her hand, forcing him to turn and look at her. When she spoke, her voice was as hard and cold as the teacups still sitting outside.

"Hatter. Listen to me."

He stared back at her, his eyes full of questions and uncertainties. She leaned closer to him, punctuating every word as if trying to drive it into his consciousness.

"I am _not leaving you. _Not forever."

"But Alice…the Oraculum---"

"I don't care what it says. _I _decide the path I take, not some magic bit of parchment. And if _I _decide that I'm not leaving in thirty one days….then I'm not. I'm not leaving you again."

The Hatter shook his head slowly, his eyes filling with a sad, hopeless shadow. "Alice, _no _one has ever broken a prophecy before. The Oraculum doesn't _command _the future, it simply _sees _it….looks at it, as clearly as through a looking glass. It sees what _will happen. _It is the absolute truth of all Underland, of all things that ever were and ever will be. It has _never _been wrong."

"It's going to be wrong this time."

"But…_how?"_

She shook her head, never breaking contact with his searching green eyes. "I don't know how. But I'm going to find out. I'm going to find a way to defy the prophecy."

The Hatter closed his eyes, lowering his head. Alice felt a trace of her steely resolve melting into a warm tenderness, and before she realized what she was doing she softly laid her palm across his forehead, smoothing his hair back and consoling his worried brow. He only shook his head again, sighing hopelessly.

"It's _impossible," _he whispered.

The words seared in Alice's mind like the licking flames of the chattering fire in the hearth. Lifting his chin up to look at her, she pierced him with an unwavering stare…..then smiled.

"_Only if we believe it is," _she whispered back.

For another moment longer, he was silent, searching her gaze, pleading, yearning, as if desperately wanting to believe her. She cupped his face with one hand, softly stroking her thumb along the shadow of his cheek bone. He closed his eyes, leaning ever so lightly into her hand. Then, slowly, gradually….he opened them….and smiled back. Alice felt her heart give a great leap inside of her.

"I've just noticed," he said quietly, his eyes traveling back and forth across her face, inspecting her with a knowing gleam. "It's strange, but….for once, you're exactly the size that you should be."

Her smile widened into a grin, and she lowered her hand from his face, reaching instead to wrap her fingers firmly around his.

"I promise you, Hatter….and it's a promise you can hold me to. I am _never _going to leave Underland forever. I'm going to _find a way."_

He squeezed her back, and when he spoke again all of the dancing lights of madness she knew and loved so well had finally returned to his flashing green eyes.

"We'd better get started, then."

A/N; Thanks for reading, and remember, reviews make me smile!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N; Woot! Chapter 9, up and running. You may notice that I've changed the rating on this story from K+ to T….that's because this chapter sort of led me to some unexpectedly darker scenes, and I supposed it was better to be safe than sorry. I apologize for any grammatical errors, I was pretty sleepy when proofreading this. Enjoy!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 9_

"_We'd better get started, then."_

Alice smiled at him. That brightness in his gaze, that plain, almost calm spread of the smile over his missing teeth…the deceptive tip of a hidden iceberg, the riot of mad thoughts and unrestrained feeling coursing just beneath the still waters…._that _was the Hatter she knew. That was the dear lunatic she remembered from what everyone back home had dismissed as her childhood "delusions"…._that _was the face she had not once, but _twice_ let herself be beguiled into believing had been nothing more than an imaginary friend….or worse, nothing more than a dream_._

_But no more. She would never allow herself to forget him again. Not ever._

"It's good to have you back, Tarrant," she said softly.

For a moment, his smile faltered consciously, his mouth opening as if he were going to say something. She waited, but the words wouldn't come…finally, his eyes darted sharply away to glance out the window.

"Look!" he pointed, and stood up abruptly from the settee, the springs creaking and Alice bobbing slightly up and down. "The rain's stopped."

Alice looked after him out the window. Everything was still shadowy and blue, but the drops had stopped falling and a few cautious rays of pale sunshine were dabbing at the edges of the clouds. The Hatter swung the door open and took a deep breath of fresh air, then looked back at her with an energetic grin.

"What are you doing lollygagging under that quilt?" he demanded, scuttling across the room and retrieving his hat from beneath a trundle bed inexplicably propped on top of a nightstand and a stone bird bath. "There isn't a moment to spare! We have only forty-three thousand, six hundred and twenty-one---"

At that instant, from somewhere in the chaotic mess of the living room came the squawking chirp of a cuckoo clock, announcing five cheerful caws.

"---make that forty-three thousand, six hundred and _twenty…" _the Hatter corrected himself, snatching his coat from the settee and seamlessly slipping his arms into it, "….minutes in which to find some needle-in-the-proverbial-haystack loophole that will allow you to divert the temporal law of time and space itself to the degree of disproving the stone-written predictions of an age old, all-knowing magical entity that has governed Underland since time immemorial…."

The Hatter spoke rapidly all in one breath, whipping the quilt from Alice's shoulders as he did and replacing it with her now fire-dried cloak, then promptly pushing her to her feet and all but propelling her towards the door, ignoring her alternating protests and gasps of laughter.

"…_and," _he concluded as they stepped outside, shutting the door behind them, "…I'm afraid I shall require, at minimum, 60 of those precious seconds each day for afternoon tea. After all, it is our duty to remain, if nothing else, civilized."

Alice gave him a wry smile, lifting one eyebrow. "It was _you _who threw the quilt."

"Ah, but it was you who provided the _who _for it to be thrown over."

The world around them was gradually beginning to brighten, the lush, surreal shapes and colors of the landscape emerging from the fog and the sky slowly opening up into a rich, watery bleeding of intense lavender and fuchsia. Despite the stiff chill still lingering in the humid air, Alice drew back her hood and inhaled deeply. The coarse, earthy smell of damp grass and budding forest was everywhere. As they crossed the yard together, Alice's gaze fell on the tea tables, and her smile abruptly fell.

"Hatter," she said, looking wistfully back at the soaked tablecloths, spoiled plates, and cracked cups overflowing with rainwater, "I _am_ sorry your party was ruined. I should have gotten here sooner."

He waved her away without looking at her, his eyes fixed determinedly on his footsteps. "Tish tosh. Rain can't ruin teatime any more than wax could ruin a waistcoat."

"But wax could very _easily _ruin a---"

"That's beside the point. The point is, one must never begin an undertaking with bad tastes in ones' mouth. What's done doesn't matter now…all that matters is what needs to be _un_done---namely, that bloody prophecy. Defying it is going to require all of the courage and ingenuity you possess….and didn't I tell you that apologizing is bad for the teeth?"

Alice opened her mouth to argue, but thought better of it and simply smiled, turning her eyes down to the uneven path as they rounded the corner where the trees began crowding densely on either side of the road. They walked together for a moment without speaking, the cheerful twitters of birds and whinnies of rocking-horseflies who had hid from the storm in the undergrowth steadily returning. After a few minutes, Alice narrowed her eyes thoughtfully and looked up at the Hatter, walking quietly beside her.

"Hatter…what can you tell me about the Oraculum?" she asked. "As important as it seems to everyone in Underland…I've just realized I know almost nothing about it. Where did it come from? How long…I mean…just how far back does the calendar go?"

The Hatter frowned at his feet, knitting his brow in thought as they walked side by side.

"The trouble with those questions," he said after a moment, his voice low and introspective, "…is that they want answering."

Alice gave him a funny look. "Please, no riddles. Can't you just tell me---"

"I'm not sure if anyone can," he cut in, giving her a remorseful tilt of his eyes. "The Oraculum isn't like a picture book that shows you the same drawings every morning before lessons. It's forever a-changing and a-churning, turning up this and then burying that. No one knows how many days forward or back that it counts, for it is never the same number for long."

Alice bit her lip thoughtfully. "But isn't there any record of when it was made? Or _before _it was made? Certainly Underland must have some sort of….of history books, mustn't it?"

The Hatter looked up at her with a puzzled expression. "History books?"

"Yes, you know….dates and letters, kings, and wars, and whatnot. An account of things that happened in the past."

"The Oraculum _is _the account of what's happened in the past."

"But what good is an historical record if it's always changing?"

"Well, what good is learning history if it _can't _be changed?" the Hatter countered, still clearly confused by the notion. Alice sighed, looking back down at the ground and trying to think.

_Alright….Underland doesn't keep written records of history. Shouldn't really surprise me, I suppose. But then….how does one go about learning anything? _

She tried another approach. "What's the earliest prophecy the Oraculum has ever made? I mean…the earliest day ever shown on the calendar. What is it?"

The Hatter thought for a moment, lifting his eyes contemplatively to the sky and nearly tripping over an upraised tree root in his absence of attention. Alice seized him by the shoulders to steady his balance, and he snapped his fingers, turning to her with a flash in his eyes.

"I remember. It was called the _Lomescious Day. _It came about…" he pulled the pocket watch from his breast and checked the time. "….four hundred and three years ago. This Monday, in fact."

"_Lomescious," _Alice repeated, turning the strange syllables over on her tongue._ "_What happened on the Lomescious Day?"

He opened his mouth, then stopped, looking down and thinking again. "I believe….if I recall correctly…I believe the Oraculum explained that the Lomescious Day was the day that a decree was made for a large hole in the king's garden to be filled in."

Alice stopped walking and stared at him, blinking once. He walked another step, then noticed her and looked back curiously. "What?"

She blinked a second time. "A _hole? _A _hole _in the king's garden? _That's _the first prediction the Oraculum ever made?"

"The first that we _know _about," the Hatter corrected. "And it wasn't visible on the scroll for very long, either, if memory serves. In fact, I believe it only appeared for about seven minutes or so, almost a decade ago---"

"But…a _hole _to be filled in? What sort of silly….I mean, I thought the Oraculum only made…well…_important _prophesies?"

"Who says holes aren't important?" the Hatter retorted. "That hole might have been in the middle of the King's croquet grounds. Imagine the inconvenience."

Alice sighed with frustration, moving forward again down the muddy forest road. Without warning, her foot suddenly slipped on the bank of a slimy pothole, and she caught herself from falling just in time. Inclining his head kindly, the Hatter extended his arm to her, and she took it with an appreciative smile as they continued down the path. The sun was now peeping in clear, yellow rays through the breaks in the heavy cloud cover, but the atmosphere remained dim and purple, the pale, misty haze of the recent storm still clinging close to the ground. Alice shook her head slowly as they walked, lost in thought.

"I don't understand it," she mused aloud, holding tight to the Hatter's arm as they skirted round another puddle. "Things don't just appear out of nowhere. The Oraculum had to come from someplace…._someone _had to have made it." There was a moment of silence, and she looked anxiously up at the Hatter. "Didn't they?" she pressed.

"No one knows from where or whom the Oraculum came," he answered grimly. "…and what's more, no one has ever bothered to wonder. It has always been in Underland, since before anyone living can remember. It is as simple as that."

Alice blew an exasperated breath between her lips. "But it's _not _as simple as that_, _don't you see? If I'm going to break the Oraculum's prophesy about me for _good, _I've simply _got_ to know more about it."

The Hatter frowned, quirking one corner of his mouth. "Perhaps," he said, a faint note of hope in his voice. "…the White Queen can answer these questions better than I. After all, the Oraculum has always been entrusted to the hands of royalty. If anyone can point us in the right direction, it will be Mira_NAAGH!" _

Alice gasped sharply and jumped as the Hatter let out a loud yelp of surprise. Seemingly out of nowhere, a bright, crimson projectile came hurtling out of the sky like a shooting star, headed straight for Tarrant's face. He ducked a split second before it struck him right between the eyes, and the little red meteor instead flew crashing into the top of his hat, knocking it clean from his head. Shaken, the Hatter and Alice looked down in astonishment at whatdiscovered to be a small, living creature, lying stunned and supine on the ground. An instant after the shape and color of the animal registered in her mind, Alice let out a sharp cry and dropped to her knees in the dirt, gingerly extending her hands to it. As soon as she had realized the creature had wings, she had recognized him at once.

"Cardinal!" she gasped, helping to right the poor little bird to his feet and brushing the dust from his back. He sputtered and twitched, clearly having been badly jolted by the impact with the hat, his bright feathers all ruffled and his head jerking wildly in every direction as if searching frightfully for something. Alice tenderly scooped the Cardinal up in her palms and rose to her feet, holding him between she and Tarrant.

"Family of yours?" the Hatter asked curiously.

At last regaining his bearings, the bird shook himself once more and looked up, giving a great start when his black little eyes reached Alice's face.

"Sir Alice! You…you're alive, you're alright, you're…..you're enormous!"

"I was so worried about you!" Alice replied. "I was terribly afraid that you'd been killed by the Jubjub. Oh, I _am _happy to see that you aren't hurt!"

"Pardon me," the Hatter lifted one finger timidly, his brow knitting with apprehension. "…but….did you say _Jubjub?"_

"The JUBJUB!" the Cardinal screeched suddenly, as if remembering something terrible at the mention of the word. Alice and the Hatter both winced at the bird's ear splitting cry. "The Jubjub, the _Jubjub!!"_

"Shhh," Alice urged, stroking the back of his downy head with her fingers and trying to calm him. "It's alright, Cardinal, the Jubjub is gone. You're safe now."

"No, no, you don't understand!" he wailed, his wings flapping wildly in her palms. "It's here, it's _here, _we must get away!!"

Alice narrowed her eyes and glanced up at the empty sky, then back down at the hysterical bird.

"There's nothing there," she insisted.

"But there is, there is!" he moaned. "I've been chased by that wretched beast for more than a day….it just keeps circling and circling, coming back and back again! I've not had a moment's peace since it attacked us and you fell!"

"Since _what?" _the Hatter cried incredulously, his eyes bugging.

"But it's gone _now,_" Alice crooned gently. "Listen to me, Cardinal, the sky is all clear. You see? Nothing there. Down here, we're perfectly**---**"

"DUCK!" the Hatter shouted at the top of his voice.

"_Ooof!"_

The next thing Alice knew, all the wind was rushing from her lungs as she was knocked to the ground, flopping flat on her stomach with the Hatter's weight falling on top of her, her hands cupping closed around the Cardinal and her arms reaching forward just in time to save him from being crushed beneath her. Her heart hammering wildly with shock, she twisted her neck around and looked up just as an enormous shadow swooped down over them, a pair of flashing yellow talons raking the air so closely that she felt the sharp gust of wind from its passing rush across her face, blowing the ends of her hair. The Jubjub bird let out a blood-curdling screech of anger at having missed its target, its tremendous wings flapping and struggling in the narrow confines of the forested road. It grazed the ends of tree branches with its wingtips as it soared back into the sky, showering them with broken twigs. Inside her hands, the Cardinal was squawking and fluttering spastically.

The Hatter had climbed off of her and hoisted her to her feet before she had time to gasp.

"Into the trees!" he cried, practically lifting her off the ground as he pulled her behind him. They dove into the dense brush just off the side of the road, burrowing deep beneath the low lying branches until they were almost flat against the ground, panting for breath. His eyes moving constantly back and forth, his face aglow with a combination of fear and determination, the Hatter peered up through the thicket, scanning the sky. His arms were draped protectively over Alice's head, holding her down beneath him. She was still reeling with the shock of what had just happened, her whole body shaking so that she was scarcely able to keep her hands clasped around the Cardinal. After a few minutes of unbearable silence, she swallowed thickly and turned her eyes to Tarrant's face.

"Is it gone?" she whispered.

He hesitated, his gaze still fixed skyward. He bit his lips nervously.

"I don't see him."

Slowly, ever so slowly, the Hatter loosened his hold on her, rising up to just barely move the brush above them aside with his arm. He opened a gap large enough for his face to look throughand inched further up, searching high in every direction. Alice watched him, holding her breath.

After another long, excruciating moment,the Hatter let out a small sigh, the tension draining from his shoulders as he turned back to face her.

"I think it's gone," he said quietly. "I think---"

All at once, like a dark shadow blotting out the sun, Alice saw it behind him, the winged monster of claws and feathers plummeting down, straight toward them over the tree line. Her eyes grew wide, and for a split second everything seemed to stop and hang suspended in time.

"HATTER!" she screamed.

"_TTTSSSSSHHHHIIIIIEERRRAAAWWK!"_

It was as if an elephant had fallen out of the sky on top of them. The sound of snapping twigs and cracking branches exploded all around them, and the Hatter let out a sharp cry as he threw himself back over Alice, covering her with his torso just as the Jubjub descended.

"_HATTER!"_

His face was inches from hers as the whole of the thicket above them seemed to collapse, compacting and pressing down on them from every side, the weight of the Jubjub flattening the brush. She saw the Hatter's grimace, his eyes squeezing shut as the enormous, gleaming talons raked forward, the tips of the Jubjub's claws digging through the branches as far as they could reach. Down, down, closer and closer they fought….then, when they had pushed in as far as they could, for one instant, everything was still. Alice stared into the Hatter's face, her pulse throbbing slowly in the back of her throat. For one instant, she was completely terrified. Not of the Jubjub…not of the razor-like points driving steadily towards them….but of that look, that look on the Hatter's face, the terrible cringe that told her something had pierced him from behind. Then, all of a sudden there was an unbearable, stabbing pain in her right ankle, as if the sharp end of a red hot poker were being driven slowly through the skin. She turned her head aside and clenched her jaw in pain, screaming through her teeth.

Then…...a horrific, animalistic shriek rent the air as the Jubjub violently fought to extricate its talons from the brush, beating its wings frantically to pull itself back from the thicket. The Hatter collapsed further forward and Alice's face moved over his shoulder, her lips parted and her eyes wide, the breath caught deep in her chest. She watched as the Jubjub seemed to hover for a few seconds, thrashing in midair just above the road, half a dozen or more sharp-ended sticks driven into its underbelly and the leathery skin of its talons, flecks of dark liquid trickling down its legs and flying in every direction as it shook. It let out another shrill, furious cry, and at last ascended above the trees, flapping its monstrous wings until it had vanished from sight. For an instant longer, Alice lay still, watching it go. Then, as her mind slowly slipped back into reality, she shook herself and strained her eyes to look at the side of Tarrant's head, his orange hair filling her face and his head hung over her shoulder.

"Hatter?" she whispered. He didn't answer.

An hysterical fist of panic seizing her, she frantically struggled to roll him off of her, the broken branches pressing in on them from all sides. She opened her hands and the Cardinal burst out, jabbering incoherently to itself as it flitted away and disappeared into the woods. Groaning with effort, Alice at last managed to turn the Hatter onto his back and squirm out from under him. With every move she made, fresh bursts of searing pain erupted from her ankle, so intense and direct they nearly left her breathless, but she refused to stop moving. Gasping with fear and adrenaline, she hooked her hands beneath the Hatter's arms and, with tremendous difficultly, crawled backwards onto the road and finally pulled him free of the brush and out into the open air, the heels of his boots dragging two neat lines through the mud.

Filthy all over, and half-slipping on the wet road, Alice shakily wiped her face and pulled the strings of hair from her eyes, stumbling round and limping off her wounded foot to kneel at the Hatter's side. As she dropped down, she gave a small cry of surprise and relief when she saw that his eyes were open and he was blinking slowly, his face startlingly calm as he looked around.

"_Hatter! _Thank goodness, thank _goodness…_"

Gingerly, wincing slightly, he lifted himself up on his elbows and slowly rose to sit upright, his shoulders hunching forward. Alice eagerly braced him with her arms, using the heel of her hand to wipe some of the mud from his cheek. He bent his knees out to the sides, staring sightlessly down at the ground between his legs as if lost in a daze.

"Are you alright?" Alice pleaded, searching his face for signs of pain. "Are you hurt? Are you---"

She looked down, and her voice stopped in her throat when she saw dark, burgundy stains on the backs of his hands. Fear seizing her, she leaned him further forward, supporting him with her hands, and looked at his back. A small scream slipped from her mouth, and she stifled it with her hand, reeling. The back of his coat was _black_, soaked through with blood, the fabric shredded in several places. She gasped for breath, but couldn't find any. Panic flooded instantly through her, paralyzing her…..when suddenly, she heard his voice, calm and even, and she whirled back tolook at his face.

"It's alright," he was saying softly, looking down at his own hands and rubbing the burgundy blood between his fingers, his eyes narrowed with an almost quizzical fascination. "It…isn't mine. It's the Jubjub's."

"The Jubjub's?" Alice repeated, her voice still shaking. "Are you sure? It doesn't hurt anywhere?" She searched his back again, gently pulling bits of the torn clothing aside withher fingers and scrutinizing every inch. There were a few shallow cuts where lines of bright crimson trickled over the paper white skin….but he was right. The great splashes of blood staining his coat were too dark to be human, and his small wounds weren't nearly severe enough to have bled so much. Almost crying out loud with relieved joy, she leaned back to look him in the face.

"_Why did you do that?" _she demanded, shaking him slightly, her immense relief punctuated by a sudden flush of anger. "It nearly killed you!"

But theHatter wasn't listening. His eyes had abruptly turned a blazing orange, and he was staring intently down at something with an almost incredulous glare. She followed his gaze, and saw that he was looking at her ankle. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw the true extent of her own injury…what looked like a long, smooth thorn had been driven in almost two inches below the skin, the end of the enormous splinter sticking straight out.

"You're hurt," the Hatter said, all traces of his dazed confusion evaporating instantly, his voice hardening and rumbling. Before Alice could protest, he had jumped to his knees and forced her to sit down, extending her leg out in front of her.

"It's fine, don't fuss!" she begged, wincing with pain even as she said it. "_You're _the one who was almost---"

"Hold still," the Hatter commanded, squeezing one hand tight around her ankle just above the puncture, and gripping the thorn firmly with the other. "…and count to three."

"But Hatter, it's _you _who---"

He silenced her with a sudden fierce, yet almost pleading look, his fiery orange eyes softening just a bit, and she realized at once, from the visible play of emotions just beneath the surface of his face, how difficult the task at hand was going to be for him.

"Please," he said softly, his eyes penetrating into hers. "…to three. But backwards. And start with _two_."

Pressing her lips together, Alice nodded. Thinking briefly, she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Two…one…_three."_

On the last count, the Hatter clenched his jaw and wrenched the thorn from her ankle in one swift, upward twist. Alice grit her teeth against the pain, but couldn't help drawing in one small, whimpering gasp. The Hatter quickly reached out one arm and took hold of his hat---which she'd just noticed was still lying in the road beside them---placed it on his head, and tore off the long train of crepe ribbon that hung from the back of it, wrapping it tightly, but gingerly around her rapidly swelling ankle.

"Alice," he said gently, still shaken, but with the faintest note of brightness returning to his voice, "Is it possible for you to stand?"

"Of course," she answered immediately, accepting his outstretched hands and letting him help her carefully to her feet. The instant she put the smallest weight down on her right leg, however, stabs of piercing hot pain blazed in her ankle, crippling her, and forward she fell. The Hatter caught her, quickly lifting her right arm over his shoulders and supporting her like a crutch.

"It'll be alright," Alice insisted stubbornly, clenching her teeth against the radiating ache. "It just needs a moment, and it will be fine…"

"You can't walk," the Hatter said quietly.

"Of course I can, it's only a little---"

"Please," he interrupted her, his tone somehow gentle and immovably firm at the same time. "You know I love talking nonsense more than anyone, but now isn't the time. We must get back to the palace, before the Jubjub returns."

Alice looked at him reproachfully, but she knew that, of course, he was right.

"But how will we---?"

"Hold on," he said bluntly, and before she knew what he was doing he had wrapped one arm around her back and pulled her feet out from under her with the other, cradling beneath her knees and struggling for just an instant, then clumsily hoisted her up high against his chest, so high he began to fall backwards. Alice yelped in surprise, her arms instinctively clutching about his neck, and both of them uttering small sounds of consternation as they teetered haphazardly for a moment before the Hatter found his balance. Alice stared at the side of his face, dumbfounded.

"No. _No. _You _can't _mean to carry me all the way to the palace," she murmured disbelievingly. "We've miles to go, and _you've _been hurt yourself!"

He simply ignored her, pointedly avoiding her gaze and staring down at the road in front them as he took a few careful steps forward, firmly planting his feet between lifting them again, navigating around holes and tree roots. She groaned exasperatedly, but was helpless in his arms. If she tried to wriggle down, she'd only cause both of them to fall, and she was forced to admit that she had no hope of walking on her own. _Still…._

"This is ri_diculous," _she muttered, narrowing her eyes angrily at his mildly shaking footsteps. It was clear that he was having a difficult time of carrying her, yet he refused to stop. "You're going to make yourself---"

"I have a splendid idea," he interrupted, his face suddenly lit with a small smile, his eyes still fixed down at the ground. He hoisted her higher, his arms tightening around her, and she hugged his neck for dear life. She sighed, curiositywinning over worry.

"What kind of idea?" she asked grudgingly.

"Let's play a game. A question and answers game. It will help to pass the time."

She sighed again, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Alright. How do you play?"

"It couldn't be simpler. I ask you a question, and you answer it. Then you can ask me a question, and _I _answer."

Alice raised an eyebrow, but almost smiled at the unfittingly cheerful tone of his voice. "Very well. You go first."

"_What…." _he began grandly, pausing to take a long step over a puddle, losing a bit of his hold on her, then hoisting her back up again, her feet bouncing over his arm. "….is the sound that a dandelion makes?"

She blinked, then rolled her eyes, the hinted smile appearing in full. _Of course, riddles. His favorite. _She thought for a moment, the crown of her head absently falling to fit just beneath his chin. She thought she heard him suddenly give a slow, thick swallow, but she wasn't certain.

"_The sound a dandelion makes…." _she thought aloud. "Oh, of course! It _roars."_

"Correct," the Hatter replied, his voice cracking for some reason. He cleared his throat, again tightening and repositioning his hold around her as she began to slip. She held tighter to his neck, hoping to make it easier for him. "Your turn," he prompted.

"Hmmm…_any_ question I want?"

"Any question that has an answer."

"Alright then…..since you're so fond of riddles, answer me this. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?"

The Hatter surprised her with a short burst of snorting laughter. "I could answer that with my tongue sewn to my trouser seams. The letter _M, _my dear."

Alice tried to glare, but giggled once instead. "I suppose I ought to have known. Your turn, then."

"What stands on one leg, with its heart in its head?"

Alice chewed her lip for a moment, looking down ahead of them at the muddy road as they plodded steadily along. Her eyes lit up, and she pulled her head back to look at him.

"A cabbage!" she cried triumphantly. He only smiled, turning his eyes to look at her. "My turn. What holds water, yet is full of holes?"

"A sponge," he answered immediately. "What is black when it goes into water, and red when it comes out?"

Alice pondered for a long, quiet moment, but could think of nothing.

"A _lobster," _the Hatter smirked.

Alice grinned in spite of herself, racking her brain frantically for other riddles she knew. "Oh! I've got a hard one….'I go with a carriage, I come with a carriage, I am of no use to a carriage, but a carriage cannot go without me. What am I?'"

"Noise," the Hatter replied, without missing a step. Eager to stump him, Alice forewent the rules of the game and quickly began firing off any riddle she could think of.

"What belongs to you, but is used more often by others?"

"Your name."

"The more of them you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?"

"Footsteps."

"What goes round and round the tree, but never inside of it?"

"Bark."

"He who has it doesn't tell it, he who takes it doesn't know it, and he who knows it doesn't want it. What is it?"

"A false coin."

Alice shook her head at him in amazement, laughing. "It isn't any fun asking you riddles. You _know _them all."

The Hatter simply smiled, carefully watching his footsteps as he carried her along. As they drew gradually nearer to the palace, the road was growing smoother and scattered with cobblestones, so that he could walk with her at a swifter pace.

"I'm sorry to have disappointed you," he remarked, hoisting her high again, jostling her a bit more sharply on purpose. She giggled and pinched his ear. "But…" he continued, his grin suddenly straightening a bit, "…you having taken the last five turns, I believe I am overdue for one."

She playfully schooled her features into a serious gaze, and nodded. "But of course, how rude of me! It's only fair."

"And we _must _be fair. My question, then, good Sir Alice…."

He paused…she smiled expectantly at the side of his face….and then, all at once, his glee and silliness was entirely gone, replaced by small, troubled frown and inquisitive eyes, a pale kind of distress radiating out from him. Alice's grin vanished.

"….is why you didn't tell me that you were attacked by the _Jubjub _bird."

Alice's jaw dropped slightly in surprise. She stuttered blankly for a moment, but he kept his eyes fixed on the ground.

"Hatter, I….I forgot, is all."

He didn't look up, but she thought that she felt his arms tighten suddenly around her. "Lying is against the rules, you know," he said softly, his voice suddenly low and almost croaking, "…in case I forgot to mention."

"I'm _not _lying," she insisted, truly confused. "Yes, the Jubjub attacked us as the Cardinal was carrying me to the palace….I was still very small, then….but I wasn't hurt when I fell, I landed on a mushroom. I…I just forgot about it, I suppose. Why? Why does it matter?"

He didn't answer her, but merely continued to stare at the ground with his strange, hurt expression. She watched him, growing more puzzled and concerned with each second of silence. Without realizing it, she slowly lowered her head to rest once more on his shoulder. The Hatter seemed to stiffen for an instant as she did….he drew in a deep breath, then slowly let it out again, and lifted her higher against his chest.

"You see, Alice…" he began slowly, his eyes narrowed as if thinking deeply about the words before he said them. "…the Jubjub bird, despite its viciousness, is not truly an _evil _creature. Without a master to keep it chained and caged, to bottle up its natural ferocity until it is ready to rip to pieces the first living thing it sees, the Jubjub is no different, no more ill-tempered, than any other toothsome creature. Since the Frabjous Day, since the slaying of the Jabberwocky and the banishment of the Red Queen, the Jubjub bird has been living free and unfettered in the wilds of Underland, just as any other beast would…snatching up only what it needs to survive, only when it must eat. People have learned to beware its territory, and it doesn't attack without reason."

Alice listened to him, seeds of unrest began stirring slowly inside of her, and without knowing what she was doing she was inching by degrees closer and closer against the Hatter's heart, until her head was tucked beneath his chin and she could almost hear the beats of the throbbing muscle beside her ear. She could no longer see the Hatter's expression, but she felt as his hands held her more and more tightly.

"What are you saying?" she asked quietly under her breath.

He lowered his face slightly, his chin resting deep in her hair. She leaned gratefully into the warmth, a sudden chill of uncertainty stealing over her.

"Something isn't right," he answered, his voice grave. "The Jubjub is attacking _you, _specifically."

Alice bit his lip, her fingers playing nervously with the Hatter's collar at the back of his neck. "But why?" she asked.

The Hatter shook his head. "I don't know."

Then, all of a sudden, his footsteps stopped, and he stood perfectly still. Alice felt her heart rocket into her mouth and her face flush brightly as, all at once, it seemed to dawn on her how close she had been to him all this time. She hadn't fully realized it as they were walking, so concerned was she with him hurting himself…but now, as they stood there together with her head over his heart, her arms around his neck, the warmth of his body flush against hers, flowing into her, his hands holding her closer and closer….she found herself quite suddenly breathless.

There was suddenly a low, soft rumble beside her ear, and she realized the Hatter was speaking. She couldn't see the expression on his face, but she felt as if she could feel the emotion bleeding down to her, like a tangible sensation.

"Alice. I have one more question."

She didn't respond. Her mouth moved soundlessly. She was paralyzed with warmth, hanging there as helpless as a child in his arms.

"If I were to ask you, someday….someday…" he whispered in her ear, so quietly she was almost unsure she heard him at all. "….would you tell me everything? Everything that has happened to you, since the day we parted?"

Alice couldn't speak. She turn and buried her face in the front his shirt, and there, like a shy little girl too afraid to look up and speak…she simply nodded.

_Yes._

For a moment, everything seemed to fall silent, even the rustle of leaves and the chirping of the birds.

And then, as if nothing had happened, the Hatter continued walking forward, cradling her gently.

The long, penetrating silence followed them the rest of the way home. The only sounds were Tarrant's footsteps, growing sharper and sharper with each tap as the ground beneath them gradually became smoother and gave way to cobblestones. For what felt like hours, they walked on without speaking another word. Alice clung tight to the Hatter's neck, her eyes glazing and her ankle aching with each movement, her consciousness adrift in straying thoughts. Finally, after an eternity of soundless floating, she opened her eyes again, and the forest around them had disappeared, replaced with rolling green yard and white cherry tree orchards. She blinked in surprise, lifting her head to look around. _How had they already reached the White Castle? Had she fallen asleep? How long had they been walking?_

Suddenly, the strong, cradling arms beneath her gave a great jolt, the world swaying and buckling for one brief instant, and Alice felt herself slipping.

"Hatter!" she gasped, and all at once his grasp tightened again, but his head fell forward over her clutching arms and he dropped to his knees on the stone walkway leading toward the palace, the two of them crumpling down to the ground together.

"Tarrant! What's wrong?" she begged, leaning to look into his face. His eyes were closed, his orange brow furrowed as if he were trying to shut out a physical ache.

"Nothing, not a thing in the world," he murmured, breathing heavily, fighting to regain his wind.

"Yes there is, you're _exhausted!" _Alice accused, half angrily and half ridden with guilt. _She knew, she should never have let him…what was he thinking? Half-injured himself, and carrying her all that way over such a terrible road…. _"Put me down this instant, before you---"

"Nothing to worry about," he insisted, opening his eyes and staring blearily forward and he tried to rise to one trembling knee. "Just need a….hot cup of tea, and I'll be right as….as rivets…."

"Tarrant! Alice!"

Alice looked up and gave a great, groaning sigh of relief when she saw the White Queen hurrying towards them from the nearby courtyard, with a handful of her court ladies and attendants trailing curiously behind her. As she drew near, Mirana's dark mouth dropped in a startled expression, her eyes widening. She covered her mouth with her hand and bent to her knees beside them.

"Oh, my…._word! _What_…._what in the _world _has happened to you??"

"Tea party…." the Hatter muttered, still trying in vain to rise back to his feet with Alice in his arms. "….delayed by the rain…"

"I can't stand. Please, help…take me from him before he collapses!"

Four attendants in white robes immediately rushed forward, lifting Alice clear into the air and holding her cradled between them, the other two quickly moving to either side of the Hatter and helping him to his feet. Once he was standing erect, he seemed to give a great shiver that rippled through his entire body, and he blinked profusely, rubbing his face with one hand.

"Help them inside, at once!" Mirana commanded, then turned to another group of servants behind her. "And you, please hurry in and wake the Court Physician. He should be nearing the end of his midday nap. Have him prepare bandages, tonics, and two sick beds, immediately!"

As the attendants scampered off to obey her orders, the White Queen hurried alongside Alice and the Hatter as they were ushered swiftly past the courtyard and through the palace doors. Alice never moved her eyes from the Hatter's face…he looked like a sleepwalker, half-stumbling, half-carried under each arm by the two servants, his head hanging low and small, strange sounds of gibberish issuing from his lips. Alice pursed her mouth worriedly, watching him as the party passed through the castle entry room and into a corridor.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked desperately, turning to Mirana. "I thought he was only weak with exhaustion, but he looks as if he's becoming ill."

"Don't worry, my dear, we'll get the two of you in to the doctor immediately," she answered. "Don't strain yourself now with talking, you can tell us all that's happened in just a moment."

Alice opened her mouth to argue, but thought better of it, and consented to letting herself be carried through the halls, the Hatter near at her side. She trained her eyes on his blank, weary face, the surges of worry and guilt rising higher and higher inside of her.

_I never even thanked him, _she realized, a sudden pang of unbearable guilt piercing her more deeply than the thorn that had wounded her, as they rounded a corner and were carried into a bright, white room with tall windows, where rows of small beds were lined neatly along the walls.

_I never even thanked him for saving my life._

A/N; Yeeeeaaahh….I feel like this chapter was sort of a mish mash, especially the ending. Hope it didn't seem _too _disjointed or irregular. I'll try to get the next one up as soon as possible, and in the meantime, your feedback is important to me...let me know what you think! You're all doing a wonderful job keeping me motivated with reviews, so don't stop now!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N; Hi everyone….sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up, I've had a number of projects going on at once. I'll try not to take a whole week getting the next installment posted _. In the meantime, thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! Your feedback and ideas are very helpful, especially in catching little snafus and crooked plot points I may have missed. Enjoy chapter 10!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the book belongs to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 10_

As soon as the palace attendants had gently laid Alice and the Hatter down on top of two neighboring beds in the dazzlingly white infirmary, Mirana shooed them hurriedly out into the corridor and shut the door behind them, closing the three of them together inside the room and floating quickly back to the beds.

Alice propped herself up on her elbows, glancing down at her wounded ankle and wincing. A dark round bloodstain had seeped through the makeshift bandaging of Tarrant's hat tail, and the whole mess was swollen so thick she could scarcely wag her foot. Steeling herself determinedly against the ever quickening, throbbing ache, she turned to the bed next to her to look at the Hatter, and the already present pit of worry in the bottom of her stomach grew larger.

"Hatter?" she said, leaning as far as she could on the edge of the bed, but still feeling as if the few feet of floor between them was as wide as an ocean, "Hatter, what's wrong? Are you feeling ill?"

He showed no sign that he heard her. The Hatter was laying flat on his back just as the attendants had placed him, his hands folded calmly over his stomach and his gaze pointed straight up at the ceiling. One wouldn't have guessed there was anything wrong with him at all, were it not for the troubling, distant expression on his face…his features were wrought in a combined grimace of both pain and abstract wonder, as if he were looking up at something so strange, so intensely bizarre that it caused him a physical ache. As Alice peered closer, she realized with a jolt of anxiety that his eyes were changing colors in a slow, continuous cycle…first green, then yellow, orange, pale blue, then green again. There was a glistening sheen of sweat gradually brightening on his forehead, and he began to move his lips as if he were muttering frightened, rapid instructions to himself, but he made not a single sound.

Alice turned desperately to the White Queen, who had drawn a low stool up to the edge of the bed and was tenderly undressing her bad ankle.

"What's wrong with him, Mirana? What's happening?" she begged, pushing herself up further on her arms.

"He's becoming feverish," the Queen answered, casting a worried glance over her shoulder at him. "…but I don't know why---I can't see any serious injury on him. Alice, you must tell me _exactly_ what happened."

Alice felt herself beginning to tremble all over, an inexplicable shiver seizing her entire body as her eyes remained fixed on the Hatter's sweating, frightening expression. She swallowed dryly and wet her lips.

"We were attacked by the Jubjub bird."

Mirana's hands froze in midair with the bloody bandage, whipping her gaze towards Alice with parted lips.

"The _Jubjub?" _she repeated, raising her eyebrows as if demanding absolute clarification.

Alice nodded. "It…it just appeared above us from nowhere as we were walking back to the castle…the Hatter…he pulled me into the brush, to hide from it, but it circled back again and swooped down on us, and….." her voice was beginning to break, sudden waves of crippling fear and apprehension welling up inside of her. "…but…but he said he was al_right!" _she cried. "I don't understand, the Jubjub's claws only grazed him….no more than the tiniest scratches, and he _insisted _thathe felt fi---"

"Its _claws?" _Mirana interrupted abruptly._ "_You mean the talons? The Jubjub pierced Tarrant's skin with its talons?"

Alice jumped at the sharpness of her inquisitive tone, giving the Queen a perplexed nod. "Yes, but only the slightest bit."

"And that's all that happened?"

Alice blinked. "Well…yes, I suppose, but….isn't that bad e_nough?"_

Instead of answering, Mirana held her gaze for a moment longer, then draped a palm over her heart and breathed out a long, slow exhale, briefly fanning herself with her other hand and rolling her eyes with relief. She took a few deep breaths and gave her a bright smile, then calmly resumed her removal of the bandaging as well as Alice's shoes.

"_Good_ness," she gasped, almost laughing. "For a moment, I was worried!"

Alice stared at her blankly in disbelief. "What….what are you saying? What's wrong with him, why is he---?"

"It's alright, Alice…there's nothing to fret about. Tarrant is going to be just fine," the Queen explained, standing up and crossing the room to toss the used dressing over the crackling fire in the hearth. The flames flared up brightly to consume it, and the acrid smell of burning crepe and blood wafted past Alice's nose. The Queen only smiled and moved to open the window between their beds, taking a deep breath of the damp, cool air. Alice's eyes followed her with an anxious stare.

"You see, dear," she continued, sitting back down on the stool and smoothing her white gown over her knees, "…the claws of the Jubjub bird contain a poisonous toxin that is injected into its prey upon contact. A small scratch is enough to do the trick…just one little _prick, _and the venom is secreted instantly into the victim's flesh."

Alice's jaw dropped and her face twisted in horror. "Then, he's….you mean he's been _poisoned?" _she cried, seething incredulously, baffled that the White Queen could wear so placid a smile as she spoke such horrifying words.

Mirana only laughed lightly at her reaction, placing a calming hand over her leg. "Yes, he has. But there's no need to panic. The poison in itself, you see, is not at all dangerous…it is merely an anesthetizing and discombobulating agent. It works in such a way that by the time the Jubjub has carried the victim back to its nest, he has no sense of reality or coordination, and will not try to fight back while the Jubjub pecks out his eyes and devours his organs."

The White Queen spoke as lightly and gaily as if she were recounting the details of bedtime story. Alice cringed sharply as she was assaulted by the unwelcome mental image of the Hatter suffering such a gruesome fate, and she shot him another uneasy glance just to remind herself he was still there beside her. Her poor friend was now pouring sweat, his color-changing eyes still fixed on the ceiling and his fingers beginning to twitch violently over his chest. Her eyes darted back and forth between he and the White Queen. She gave Mirana a dubious scowl, still somewhat incensed that she was handling the situation so casually.

"Then, you're….you're absolutely _positive _it isn't going to do him any harm?"

"None whatsoever," Mirana smiled. "You have my word."

"But…but just _look _at him! Isn't he in pain? What _is_ it doing to him?"

"Oh, no, darling, he isn't in any pain. He's only severely disoriented. Normally, the primary effect of the poison is stupefaction…the victim falls limp and physically catatonic," Mirana answered, rising to her feet and leaning over the Hatter's bed. She felt his forehead gently, wiping great beads of sweat from his skin and flicking them from her hand. "…but since he was able to make it all the way back to the palace without collapsing, it would seem the wounds must have been too shallow for the toxin to circulate directly into his bloodstream, foregoing this stage."

"Then what _will _happen to him?"

"Nothing terribly serious…he'll have a short bout of rising fever----there…I think it's already begun to break, as we speak----followed by disconnection of the nervous functions, accompanied by mild---"

But at that instant, the White Queen was sharply interrupted as the Hatter let out a wild, manic cry of alarm and rocketed bolt upright in the bed, jumping and thrashing his arms all about. Alice and Mirana yelped in unison, watching him with wide-eyed astonishment as the Hatter began furiously swatting himself all over with his hands, brushing his sleeves and chest aggressively and uttering frightened sounds of shock.

"----hallucinations," Mirana finished quietly, taking a step back from the bed and holding her fingers gingerly in the air.

Alice's mouth hung open in both fascination and concern as she watched the Hatter swing his legs over the side of the bed and begin tearing frantically at his coat, ripping his arms from the sleeves and flinging it away from him with a mortified yelp, then grabbing his hat and tossing it across the room as if it had threatened to bite him. His eyes moved constantly up and down over his own body as he jerked and squirmed, swatting himself as if trying to shake off crawling swarms of live insects.

"Easy, Tarrant, easy! Be still!" the Queen hushed softly, trying to get close enough to take hold his shoulders. "What's the matter?"

He jumped at the sound of her voice, looking at her with crazed, flashing eyes. "Don't come near!" he shouted, his voice high pitched and frenzied. "_Mome raths! _Mome raths, mome raths everywhere…..scurrying, scuttling, slithering all over me! Horrid vermin! Get them off, get them _away!" _He yelped and thrashed against the invisible creatures, making horrified faces that reminded Alice of the time her sister Margaret had found a large brown spider wriggling in her water glass at dinner.

Alice sat up quickly in the bed, a strange mixture of relief and bizarre awe tingling in her chest. His antics made her want to laugh with absurdity and cry at the same time. "Hatter, it's alright, there isn't anything there," she tried, forcing her voice into a reassuring tone.

The instant she spoke, he froze stock still in mid swat, turning to pin her with a stunned expression of total confusion. After staring at her for a split second in shock, he suddenly leapt to his feet and dove towards her with his hands outstretched, crashing onto the bed and seizing her by the arm before the White Queen could stop him. Alice yelped slightly in surprise as his fingers locked around her upper arm and he began tugging and pulling at it as if trying to remove it from her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" she asked him incredulously, almost more curious than stunned.

"_Please, _Alice, hold still!_" _he grumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed and wrapping both arms around hers with his back to her, then tugging on each of her fingers one at a time. "If you don't cooperate, I shall neverfind the release switch. You _do_ want this dreadful machine taken off, don't you?"

"Perhaps you'd better lie down, and leave the machine for later," the White Queen suggested softly, extending her hand toward him. The Hatter glanced up at her and stopped his exploring machinations on Alice's arm, narrowing his eyes at Mirana with an intrigued squint.

"I say, your Majesty," he muttered in fascination, rising slowly to his feet and leaning in inches away from her face, tilting his head sideways and inspecting her pale, spotless chin, "…how long have you been cultivating that magnificent beard?"

"Oh, quite some time now," she coaxed gently, taking him by the shoulders and guiding him to sit back down on his bed. "But we can discuss that another time. Why don't you wait here until the doctor comes, Tarrant? I'm sure he won't be long now."

No sooner had he been lowered down onto the mattress, however, than the Hatter's eyes shot wide opened and he hollered loudly with alarm, flipping himself backwards straight over the bed and crouching down to hide behind it on the other side. He peeked cautiously over the edge at Alice, but as soon as she sat up higher and leaned forward to look back at him he let out a startled yelp and ducked back down. Alice gave Mirana a dumbfounded look, but she simply shrugged.

"Your Majesty!" the Hatter hissed, frantically gesturing to her with one hand. "Your _Majesty! Hide, _quickly! Get down!"

"Why?" she asked.

"_Why? _Don't you _see _it? There's a _jumpufferwhot _in the room!" he pointed to Alice. "It's staring _straight at us! _Hide, or we'll frighten it away!"

_A jump-puffer….what? _Alice quirked an eyebrow curiously, cursing her bad ankle and wishing tremendously that she was able to stand up and go to him, to try and help calm him down.

"Hatter, it's me, _Alice," _she said softly, but firmly._ "_Please, try to listen to us….you need to see the _doctor _now_."_

The Hatter peeked back over the bed, his eyes now bright with excitement and his mouth open in a broad grin. "Oh, your Majesty…_listen_!" he whispered, inching slowly higher until his shoulders were over the bed, and he spread his hands cautiously over the blanket, gaping at Alice as if she were some rare exotic creature that he had spotted in the wild. "Listen…listen, it's _singing _now! Isn't it the most beautiful sound? Why, fewer than half a dozen milliners have _ever_ heard the jumpufferwhot's song before! Quickly….quickly, before it stops…find a bottle!"

The Hatter then leapt to his feet and threw the blankets off the bed, patting down the whole of it rapidly with his hands, then jumping over it and crouching down on all fours to peer underneath the nightstand. Finding nothing there, he sprang back up and ran on tiptoe to the other side of the room, disheveling the other beds as well in his frenzied search.

"A bottle, a bottle, a bottle," he was muttering to himself over and over. "What nonsense, there simply _must _be one here _someplace…."_

Alice and Mirana watched him and he went round and round the room, checking every nook and cranny, and then going back and starting again at the beginning. Mirana slowly sat back down on her stool, heaving a small sigh as the Hatter suddenly flopped down on one of the beds and began trying to pull his boots off without untying the laces, tilting further and further backwards until he fell flat on his back with one foot in the air.

"I thought you said he would have _mild _hallucinations?" Alice muttered, her eyes glued to the Hatter in perturbed fascination.

Mirana touched her bottom lip thoughtfully. "Well, they _ought _to be mild……but then, I suppose we must take into account that he was half mad to begin with."

_Yes…I suppose it only makes sense. When one is already half-mad, in such circumstances, there's nowhere else for one to go, but __**all **__mad. _Alice pursed her lips concurringly, nodding as she watched Tarrant finally succeed in flinging one of his boots over his head. It knocked over a vase of white roses on the mantelpiece and he quickly scrambled up to retrieve it.

"At last! I've found one!" he cried, gripping the boot in one hand and suddenly dropping face down on the floor, crawling stealthily toward Alice's bed like a snake. When he reached the edge, he cautiously popped his head up and held the toe of his boot up to her face, watching her with gleeful expectance.

"Come on, lovely," he whispered coaxingly, as if talking to a dumb beast. "Come on, sing your song again….sing for the bottle…that's it, pretty darling, go on…."

In spite of everything, Alice found herself struggling with all her power not to burst out laughing. The sight of him sprawled on the floor, gazing up at her like that was almost too much….coupled with the overwhelming relief that he wasn't in any real danger, it was all Alice could do to maintain her composure. Swallowing a thick snort and clearing her throat, she carefully put her hand over the boot and pushed it down from her face. The moment her eyes met with his, the Hatter gave a great start and shook himself, climbing to his knees and leaning towards her with wide-eyed surprise.

"Alice!" he stated blankly, as astonished as if she had just materialized out of thin air in front of him. "Whenever did you get here?"

"Only just now," she played along, taking the boot from his hand and dropping it quietly on the floor. "I came to tell you that you ought to sit down and wait for the doctor to come."

"Oh, Alice, you've only _just _missed it….it was here not a moment ago, the most beautiful jumpufferwhot I've ever seen! Teeth like daisy petals, scales like tea spoons!"

"That does sound lovely. A pity I didn't see it," Alice murmured, jerking her head discretely toward Mirana, who slipped quietly around the bed and took the Hatter beneath his arms, helping him to his feet. She tried to walk him toward one of the other beds, but he spun gracefully away from her, dodging her grasping hands, and sat back down heavily beside Alice, his weight bouncing them up and down on the mattress springs. He leaned almost uncomfortably close to her, narrowed his eyes at her face in a queer fascination, then pinched a thick lock of her hair between his thumb and forefinger and began playing with it, weaving it up and down and across her forehead.

"_Remarkable_," he muttered to himself.

Alice blushed faintly, gently trying to pull his hand away, but he simply lifted the other and began prodding her on the bridge of her nose, pushing her head first slowly away from him, then back and forth, back and forth, his brow furrowed in amazement.

"Simply _remarkable. _How _did _you learn to do that, Alice?"

She had just opened her mouth to try and placate him again when all of a sudden there came a loud, wooden _knock, knock, knock, _bursting out of nowhere. It degenerated into what sounded like paws scuffling against floorboards, and Alice could hear a muffled voice grumbling from some invisible source.

"At last!" Mirana sighed with relief. "That will be the Court Physician."

Alice watched curiously----absently failing to fend off the Hatter as he continued to poke her in various places, her shoulders and cheeks and the tip of her nose, making small noises of rapt enthrallment each time----as the White Queen moved to the left side of her bed, bent down and lifted the edges of a pale rug lying on the floor, pulling it back to reveal a little trap door with a brass ring handle. Alice realized that it was against this wooden door that the disembodied entity was banging. Mirana took the handle in her fingers, gave a small, hearty wrench, and the trap door jerked open with a trembling wooden _squeak. _

For a few seconds, nothing happened. Alice stared at the dark hole in the floor, brushing the Hatter's exploring fingers away from her hairline and narrowing her eyes, waiting….when all of a sudden, out of the trap door popped the dark, brown little head of a complaining, beady-eyed creature, followed by his paws and arms and a round, stout body covered down the back, head and tail with a fanning bouquet of long, vicious-looking needles. It was a porcupine. It climbed up through the trap door and stood beside Alice's bed, brushing itself off with its paws and muttering irately under its breath, its quills rattling as it moved. Through the hole, she noticed a little ladder leading down into what looked like a warm, furnished den, just before Mirana closed the hatch and smoothed the rug back over it.

"_Thank _you for coming up on such short notice at this hour, doctor. Alice…" the Queen smiled, straightening up and dusting her hands, "…this is Dr. Flinspint, the royal Court Physician."

"Your Majesty," the porcupine grumbled, cutting a small bow in her direction, then inclining its head half-obligingly toward Alice. "_Sir _Alice. Nice to see you've returned to grace Underland with your presence. Now what's all this commotion that's worth waking me from my nap for?"

Alice blinked once and returned the courteous gesture, lamenting briefly to herself how much she ought to be puzzled and put off by the idea of a porcupine for a doctor, and in actuality how very little it puzzled her at all.

_Spend long enough in Underland, and I suppose one could become accustomed to anything, _she thought.

"Please, er….doctor," she said as politely as she could, "You must help him…" she motioned her head toward the Hatter, who had lost interest in her hair and her nose and was now concentrating intently on her bare foot, tilting his head this way and that and staring at her toes as if they were the most bizarre things he'd ever seen. "…he's been poisoned out of his senses by the Jubjub bird."

Mirana cleared her throat quietly, folding her arms and shooting Alice a reminding glance.

"Oh….and…afterwards, I suppose my ankle will want some patching up, as well," Alice grudgingly admitted.

Flinspint did a small double take at the Hatter, blinked, then shook his head and muttered darkly, turning to open a cabinet in the nightstand beside the bed and pulling out a small black leather satchel.

"Blooming idiots….nearly two years without one spot of trouble from that blasted bird…._sensible _folks know enough to keep well away from it….and now _you _show up, and in two days go and get yourselves all banged to pieces by it. The Court Milliner will be lucky if I've got any antidote in store….haven't needed it for so _long."_

"Somebody, quickly!" the Hatter hissed suddenly, his eyes fixed on Alice's foot but one hand gesturing urgently in the air. "Name something that starts with the letter _12!"_

Alice gave the porcupine a reproachful look, shrugging her shoulders lightly. "I'm terribly sorry for the trouble. I assure you, we didn't _mean _to---"

"Eh, I know, I know, save your sorries," Flinspint mumbled. "Your majesty, if you would be so kind as to help me restrain him…?"

"Of course. _Tarrant," _the White Queen said sternly, seizing the opportunity of his intense distraction with Alice's foot to grab him firmly by the shoulders and lift him to his feet, marching him to sit back down on his bed and holding him in place. "It's time for you to behave now."

"Right," Dr. Flinspint said, pulling from his black bag a pair of long silver scissors, a sponge, a pair of copper tongs, a large spoon, and two glass jars, one that was full of an acrid-looking yellow liquid and another that was filled to the lid with a dark, nearly black substance that Alice couldn't quite recognize. "Show me the point of entry."

Mirana gently turned the Hatter to sit with his scratched, blood-splotched back to the porcupine, who shook his head as he dragged the stool over and climbed on top of it.

"He got off _easy_. I've seen people gored to ribbons by those bloody talons," Flinspint remarked as he took the scissors and cut away a large square from the back of Tarrant's vest and shirt, revealing a great patch of bare, white skin from his neck to his belt, smudged here and there with dried blood. Alice stared and shuddered involuntarily at the sight of the Hatter's back, a fresh wave of guilt and worry rising in her stomach. There were four clear scratches he'd received from the claws of the Jubjub, and though they were rather small and shallow, the skin around them had begun to bruise and mottle with infection, his abnormally pale complexion turning a sick yellow and purple around the edges of the cuts. "Yes, ma'am…" the porcupine droned on, now cleaning the skin with the damp sponge as Mirana sat on the opposite side of the Hatter, keeping him distracted with her darkly painted fingernails, which he seemed to enjoy counting over and over. "….poor fool should thank his lucky stars the beastly bird didn't get any closer. I remember the last sorry blighter it got hold of…pulled the heart straight out through the windpipe. Nothing left to do but clean him up for the coroner."

"You ought to have something done about these garden snails, Majesty," the Hatter murmured thoughtfully, stroking Mirana's hand and studying her fingers as his eyes shifted once more to a bright yellow, oblivious to the porcupine's paws working carefully at his back. "They're frolicking about completely unclothed. Hardly proper. I could see my way to fashioning them some very small hats, if you'd like."

"That would be wonderful, Tarrant, thank you," the Queen answered, glancing over his shoulder and nodding to Dr. Flinspint. The porcupine nodded once in return, then put down his sponge and picked up the black jar. Alice leaned as far over the side of her bed as she could, eager to see what was inside…Flinspint carefully unscrewed the lid, picked up his copper tongs, and plunged them into the jar. After a moment of poking about, he drew them out again, and pinched firmly between the ends of the prongs was the fattest, more horrible looking leech Alice had ever seen in her life. It was a dark, rich shade of purple, almost black, nearly six inches long and writhing and stretching in midair like a sliver of living mud. Alice cringed and covered her mouth with her hand as a strong, sour smell wafted past her, and she noticed the White Queen turning her face away and gagging politely.

Flinspint leaned the Hatter a few inches further forward, and then with a delicate precision carefully touched the fat end of the leech to his skin, laying it lengthwise across the first of the Jubjub's scratches. The slimy creature immediately latched on and stuck there, a dark purple blob in the middle of Tarrant's back, stark and bulbous against the white of his skin. Alice recoiled with both revulsion and overwhelming sympathy----she had always had a remarkably strong stomach for nasty things, especially as far as girls went, but----oh, _leeches! __**Why **__did it have__to be leeches? _Any other loathsome creature, she could handle…spiders, worms, toads, centipedes, slugs, none of them bothered her one bit….but _leeches…._they positively sent shivers down her spine. She had always hated the ghastly brutes, ever since she was a little girl and had somehow gotten one stuck to her neck while swimming in the pond at her family's summer cottage. She'd ignorantly tried to pull it off with her fingers, and then ran shrieking with horror up the hillside after only succeeding in stretching its rubbery body out to a grotesque length.

The Hatter, however, didn't seem to notice at all as Dr. Flinspint proceeded to drape three more of the leeches across his scratches, until the whole of his back was like a bulging, striped, purple and white corkboard. Alice could practically _see _the wriggling things growing rounder as they slowly, greedily sucked out swallow after swallow of his blood. The porcupine wiped the scum from the end of his tongs with a rag and closed the lid back on the evil-smelling jar, dusting his paws.

"And that's that. How long since he was poisoned?" he asked of no one in particular.

"About….I'd say nearly three hours, now," Alice answered, grimacing at the poor Hatter's back, but unable to tear her eyes away.

"They'll need to stay on for a good thirty minutes, then…just long enough to extract the brunt of the poison. He'll grow quite sleepy after five minutes, and in ten he'll have to take a dose of this," the doctor tapped his claw on the glass bottle of yellow liquid, handing it and the spoon over to the White Queen. He took up his black satchel and climbed down from the stool, moving it over to the edge of Alice's bed instead. ".…in the meantime, let's have a look at that ankle."

A jolt of queasiness suddenly overtaking her, Alice flinched uneasily away from him, an apprehensive wince crossing her face.

"You….you aren't going to have to put any of those on _me, _are you?"

The porcupine snorted derisively, climbing up on the stool and chuckling to himself. His prickly disposition seemed to be growing slowly friendlier.

"For a bad ankle? Of course not," he groused heartily, lifting his bag onto the bed and rummaging through it. "What are we, _medieval_?"

"I should hope not," Alice murmured, well beneath her breath. She watched as the doctor pulled out a roll of white bandages, a vial of some clear, thick liquid, and a small tin box. He squeezed a few drops of the transparent elixir into her wound, and she bit back a gasp when it stung smartly. He then took a clean sponge and began swabbing the puncture.

"This won't take long at all," he assured her, opening the tin box, which turned out to be full of a course, pale green powder. A took a small teaspoon and began gently packing scoop after tiny scoop of the stuff directly into the wound. "Pokes like this are an inconvenience at most. You'll be walking on it as soon as the dressing's in place."

Alice lifted her brows skeptically as the porcupine closed up the tin and began meticulously winding the cottony white gauze round and round her ankle, but sure enough….by the time he had finished binding and securing it, the swelling had gone almost completely down, and the pain was fading fast. As Flinspint nodded in approval of his handiwork and began packing up his things, Alice timidly shifted her legs and lowered her feet to the floor, slowly pressing her heels and toes flat. Inch by inch, she gradually leaned forward and straightened up until she was standing fully erect on both feet. She gaped down at the bandaged appendage for a few seconds, then shifted her weight back and forth, side to side…she took a few cautionary steps forward, and discovered that she felt no pain at all. Her ankle seemed as good as new.

"In_credible!" _she muttered, taking a small jump and twirling a circle between the two beds.

"Not at all," the porcupine sniffed pompously. "Routine patch-up, nothing more."

Alice smiled at his poorly concealed pride, and bent forward with her hand extended to his paw, carefully avoiding his sharp-ended spines.

"_I _think it's incredible. I…_we…_can't thank you enough, doctor."

For an instant, Flinspint actually seemed to fluster with embarrassment…then he quickly regained himself, clearing his throat and consenting to shake Alice's hand once. He then snorted dismissively and waddled past her, climbing up to perch at the foot posts of the Hatter's bed.

"Feh. Well, now that you're up and about again, you can help with _this _one," he jerked his head toward Tarrant, whom Alice abruptly realized had been completely silent for some minutes. His head was hanging low, his shoulders slumping and his eyelids beginning to flutter spastically. "Lay him down front-ways on the bed, if you please," the porcupine directed. "And mind you not to disturb the leeches."

Alice didn't have to be told twice. She held her breath against the bloodsuckers' acrid smell, keeping her fingers as far from them as possible as she and Mirana carefully lowered the Hatter's torso down to the mattress and lifted his feet---still with one boot missing---from the floor, arranging his legs neatly behind him so that he was lying on his stomach with his head turned sideways on the pillow, his eyes---which had finally ceased their sporadic cycle of color changes---half glazed over and staring blankly at nothing. Every few seconds he would mumble some indistinguishable noise beneath his breath, but it was clear that he would be dead asleep within minutes. Alice couldn't resist stroking a tender hand along his arm, wincing empathetically as one of the fatter leeches made a sudden writhing squirm over his back, quickly resettling itself and latching back on for a second drink.

Flinspint cast a quick glance towards a clock on the wall, then turned and pointed to the bottle of yellow liquid on the nightstand.

"It's time. He's got to get two spoonfuls of the antidote down before he falls asleep."

Mirana nodded in response, quickly taking up the spoon and the jar, opening it and pouring out a careful dose of the serum. She crouched down close to the floor beside the Hatter's pillow, her hand held beneath the full spoon.

"Tarrant? Can you hear me?"

His eyelids were flickering dangerously now, his eyes beginning to roll back in his head. "_Collymoddle_," he murmured half-audibly in response.

"Good," the White Queen urged, setting down the jar so that she could gently slide her fingers beneath his cheek, lifting his head just far enough off the pillow. "That's good. But it's time for you to take some medicine now. Come on, now….there you go, just like that."

Clearly grasping only the barest fragments of what was happening, the Hatter obediently opened his mouth and took the dose, closing his eyes tightly shut and making a sour face as he swallowed. For a moment he seemed to be choking on it, and Alice immediately began rubbing her hand in small, soothing circles at the base of his neck…then he burst into a sudden fit of coughing, lifting himself up onto his elbows and hanging his head, his back rising and falling with the rattling gasps. Alice bent further over him, forgetting all about the proximity of the leeches and holding his shoulders as he coughed, wishing in vain there was something more she could do for him, and knowing painfully that there wasn't.

Mirana wore a regretful expression, but she dutifully poured out another spoonful of the vile yellow medicine and held it toward him.

"I'm sorry," she frowned apologetically, "…but you've got to have onemore."

The Hatter turned a wary eye in her direction and began shaking his head through the last lingering coughs. Mirana pursed her lips, rubbing his arm understandingly with her free hand.

"I know, I know…it's _loathsome _stuff…but I'm afraid you simply _must _take it. Please Tarrant, just _one_ more and it's all finished!"

He turned his eyes miserably toward her in an expression of distaste and confusion, and for a moment he seemed as if he were going to refuse…he was growing visibly hazier and more disoriented by the instant, and he turned his head in the other direction to face Alice, surprising her with his sudden gaze. Swallowing thickly, she lowered down to her knees and gently laid her hand over his cheek, smoothing the thick tufts of orange hair back from his face and looking deeply into his pleading eyes.

_What a horrible, beastly time of it he had had….and all because of her, because he had been protecting her._ _It was her fault that he had been poisoned, her fault that he was in such a disheveled condition._

The guilt of her own thoughts in combination with the piercing gloom of the Hatter's wide green eyes as he blinked blearily at her was too much to endure in silence. A thick lump catching at the back of her throat, and forgetting completely about Mirana and the porcupine at the foot of the bed, Alice found herself suddenly closing her eyes and leaning so close toward Tarrant that their foreheads touched ever so faintly. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and buried her hand in his hair, holding his head gently and ignoring the steady, quickening pace of her own heartbeat as he reciprocated the gesture and tilted his head towards her.

"_Hatter," _she whispered, softly enough so that no one else could hear, the words spilling out before she even thought about them, "I…I never thanked you…."

"Alice," he murmured, interrupting weakly, and to her astonishment his voice was calm and even again, his tone abruptly absent of the mad sing-song that had marked his delirium. She leaned back to look at him, and a layer of the dazed fog in his stare at been replaced with dawning, squinting self-consciousness. "Alice….we _did _make it to the castle, didn't we?"

She laughed briefly in spite of herself, instantly squeezing her eyes shut and stifling it, sniffing loudly and massaging the side of his head. "Yes, we did. Thanks to you, we did."

He sighed lowly, letting his head fall face first back into the pillow, his mouth barely accessible to the air. "Good," he muttered, almost breathlessly. "That's very good."

His intoxication of venom was wearing off rapidly before her eyes, the garbled bit of his old near-sanity piecing back together. He raised his face again and dragged his hand over it, groaning softly and rubbing his temple. He looked toward Alice, a weary gleam of understanding slowly filling his expression.

"There's no such thing as a jumpufferwhot, is there?" he murmured.

Alice smiled sadly and shook her head, an overwhelming relief flooding through her as she smoothed her fingers again through his tangled hair. "I have no idea."

He gave her a weak smile, then turned back to Mirana and glanced reluctantly at the medicine in her hand, his shoulders heaving with a heavy sigh. Then he abruptly raised his hand, took the spoon from her, and threw back the last noxious swallow, shutting his eyes and covering his mouth with his fist, as if it were taking all of his will power not to be sick. At last, he looked back up, blinking and coughing a final time before hanging his head with exhaustion. Mirana smiled appreciatively and closed up the medicine, laying her hand for a few seconds on his arm before drifting away. The Hatter turned his face toward Alice and laid his head on the pillow, still grimacing and sucking his teeth.

"I think….I may have just swallowed _tortoise bile."_

Alice opened her mouth to assure him he hadn't, but then quickly realized that given what she knew about such things in Underland, it was a distinct possibility that he very well _had_. So she rubbed his shoulder instead, and gave him as comforting a smile as she could.

"It's all over now, though," she said softly, her smile widening as he closed his eyes and drooped deeper into the pillow with a tired sigh. "Nothing left for you to do but rest."

"Alice…everything….everything feels so _blue. _I….I feel as though I've missed something," he mumbled, his voice growing quieter and disjointed the nearer he drew to unconsciousness. "Something amusing."

"Don't worry. I'll tell you about it when you wake up," she answered.

"Mmmm," he made a small noise through his lips. "That….reminds me….there was something…_something…._I wanted to say…"

"Shhhh," Alice hushed, gently stroking his cheek bone with the back of her knuckles. "It can wait."

"No…no, I'm sure it was important…" he narrowed his brow over his closed eyes, concentrating even as he was falling asleep. His words lit a small spark in Alice's mind, and with a brief, nervous glance toward the White and Dr. Flinspint at the end of the bed----they both noticed her looking at them and hurriedly turned away, politely averting their eyes and talking to each other about some inane subject----she leaned in close to his face, putting her lips gently to his ear and whispering.

"_Thank you, Tarrant," _she breathed, an exquisite feeling of release following behind the words as they finally escaped from the confines her thoughts. "For saving my life."

"I remember," was his answer, his eyes suddenly opening the smallest fraction, just wide enough for her to see that his irises had inexplicably turned an electric ice blue. "I wanted to tell you….that you, Alice, have exquisitely.…fantastically, magnificently…._beautiful_………toes."

With that final breath, his eyelids fluttered closed and he fell completely limp and silent, dead asleep on the pillow. His breath grew shallow and even, his be-leeched back rising and falling gently as he began to snore quietly.

Alice stared at him for a moment, her cheeks flushing a brilliant red and her hand frozen at the side of his face. Slowly, thoughtfully, she drew it back, watching his closed eyelids with an astonished feeling that she couldn't quite define.

_It….it was the Jubjub venom, of course…..he was still coming off the delirium, he was just rambling out whatever came into his head. Of course….that's all it was, the poison. Nothing more. _

Her gazed lingered for a long moment on his face, and she realized with a sudden start that she was staring at his lips.

Just as her heart was beginning to pound with a heavy, hot sensation that she was not at all certain she liked the feel of, she heard the White Queen hissing politely behind her. She looked over her shoulder, and Mirana was gesturing calmly with her hand for the two of them to step outside. With a final glance at the Hatter's peacefully snoring face, Alice reluctantly rose to her feet and followed the Queen to the door, remembering to pause and give the porcupine doctor a respectful curtsy of gratitude. He waved her away with his paw, but failed to hide a small smile as he turned back to watch over the sleeping Hatter, glancing every few minutes at the clock, doubtlessly waiting for the minute he could remove the ghastly bloodsuckers and return to his den beneath the floor.

Once safely in the corridor with the door to the infirmary shut silently behind them, the Queen breathed out a long sigh of relief.

"That was certainly….interesting," she smiled at Alice, turning her back to the door and stretching her arms downward. "I do hope you don't plan on having such wild adventures _every _afternoon."

A sharp jolt of memory shot through Alice's brain, and she immediately steeled her gaze into a cold stare of determination, reaching out and taking the Queen hand to secure her attention.

"Mirana," she said seriously, causing the Queen to blink curiously at her. "There's something you and I need to talk about."

"Yes?" she replied, raising her eyebrows with intrigue. "What is it?"

Alice wet her lips, steeling her resolve and looking Mirana straight in the eye.

"I need you to tell me everything you know about the _Oraculum_."

A/N; I keep getting carried away with wild fluffy tangents in each of these chapters, and I never seem to get as far with them as I'd like! I'll try my hardest to get back on board with the actual _plot _next time, and hopefully we'll make it further than a little half-assed backtrack at the end. Reviews make me smile!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N; Yes, it's chapter 11.…and alas, coming to you quite a bit later and shorter than planned. I'm afraid I have some sad news for you, readers----through a combination of my somewhat waning enthusiasm and the impending specter of spring finals week looming in the near future, this fic has dropped considerably on my priority list. I beg your patient indulgence, dear readers. I _am _definitely going to try to finish this story, but updates are probably not going to be as frequent as they have in the past. And I know from experience that if I try to rush writing a chapter, it probably won't turn out very well, and I don't want the quality of the fic to suffer. So I'm going to postupdates as soon as I can finish them respectably, and hopefully there will still be someone around to read them.

Sorry to put a damper on things…hope you still enjoy chapter 11!

_Disclaimer; _I own nothing. _Alice in Wonderland _the novel belongs to Lewis Carroll, and the film belongs to Tim Burton.

_**Dreams of a Memory**_

_Chapter 11_

Mirana's eyes were veiled and thoughtful, her fingers lighting delicately on her chin in contemplation and her face turned toward the floor, as she and Alice came to a gradual halt at the end of the hallway, outside an enormous door of what looked like cream-colored marble carved in shapes of tree branches and fantastical birds.

Alice gave a small exhale of relief after relating to the Queen all the details of the Jubjub's attack, as well as her discussion with the Hatter. Mirana stared intensely at the floor for another moment, then slowly lifted her eyes to Alice's face.

"You understand, my friend," she said quietly, her gaze narrowing seriously. "That you are speaking of things never before spoken of."

Alice swallowed, took a steadying breath, and nodded. "Tarrant said something similar."

"And he was right," the Queen insisted gently. "In Underland today….well….there may as well never have _been_ a time before the Oraculum. It is the be and end of all things, the absolute truth…it's word is as good, _better, _even, than any history…history can be falsified and defamed, forever subject to perspective and interpretation, but the _Oraculum…._the Oraculum does not give _accounts _of events, it gives the _event itself_. It is beyond reproach. To defy the prophecy is has foretold of you…it…it simply isn't to be fathomed."

Alice took Mirana's hand abruptly in hers, catching the Queen off guard and catching her gaze with a deep, penetrating stare. She flattened her mouth into a firm, unyielding line.

"Mirana," she said quietly. "I know that what I'm saying sounds impossible. I _know _that I sound foolish and deluded, that I'm chasing after something that isn't there, but….but…..but if there's even the slightest _whisper _of a chance that anything can be done, I've _got _to take it. You're the only one who can help me now. Please….if you know something, _anything…._if there's anything at all you can tell me….." her stern voice faltered slightly, and she leaned closer, wetting her lips. "_I can't leave him again," _she whispered, and she could see a visible play of emotion cross the Queen's face. She knew who Alice meant without having to ask. _"Not again. Not like that."_

The Queen closed her eyes and gave a long, weary sigh.

Then, with a sudden glow of energy, she opened them again and smiled, placing her hand comfortingly on top of Alice's.

"There may be _something," _she whispered.

Alice's spirits leapt up at the word, and she beamed gratefully in return.

Turning an abrupt about-face that made her skirts whirl and twist around her, Mirana seized the handles of the tall, ornate marble doors and heaved them slowly open. They protested the unfamiliar motion with loud, languorous groans, clouds of pale dust billowing out from their crevices as they inched reluctantly outward. Mirana managed to open them just wide enough for she and Alice to slip through sideways, and the moment they were inside the doors boomed shut again with a resonating echo. Alice blinked curiously as she found herself standing in total darkness, the blackness so complete she couldn't make out the movement of her owns hands below her face. She felt the Queen's hand reach out to snake around her wrist_, _and she followed obediently as she was led forward into the invisible space, her bare footsteps padding along behind Mirana's smartly clacking shoes.

"As far as the Jubjub is concerned," the Queen began, the echo of her voice the only indicator of the vast size and emptiness of the dark room, "…I cannot say for sure why it seems to be attacking you repeatedly. I suppose one explanation may be that it seeks vengeance for what you did to it two years ago----it managed to survived its blow to the head, you see, and escaped from your battle with the Jabberwocky, but with dire injuries----although I wouldn't have believed it to possess the brainpower needed for a such a concept. If it does not attack out of vengeance, however, the only other explanation I can see is that someone must be controlling it."

"The Red Queen?" Alice suggested timidly, still following blindly through the dark.

"Oh, I doubt that very highly," Mirana answered, suddenly letting go of Alice's hand and leaving her stranded in the blackness, her footsteps continuing on away from her. "The Jubjub was my sister's unwilling slave throughout her reign. It obeyed her only because it had no choice. Why…if the creature is indeed able to feel such things as bitterness or vengeance, I should expect it to bear Iracebeth a far worse grudge than even you."

Alice sighed, looking all around her for some trace of visibility but finding none.

"Then I suppose there's nothing for it but to be careful. No matter what the Jubjub's motives, if it has any….I'm not going to let it interfere with breaking the prophecy."

Even though she couldn't see her, Alice somehow knew that Mirana was smiling warmly as she said, "Ever the courageous one, my brave Champion. And believe me, you'll need that courage---and a fair share of luck---if you really intend to do what you _say _you do."

Alice narrowed her eyes indignantly into the emptiness, despite being unsure which direction the Queen was in. Her hands closed involuntarily into tight fists.

"I'm going to do it," she said, her voice quiet, but as hard as hammered steel.

_I'm going to do it._

_I've __**got **__to._

She felt Mirana smile again.

"Then _this…_" she said calmly into the darkness, "…may be the only lead I can give you. But I'll warn you.…it isn't much."

From somewhere in the room, Alice heard a soft _whhhhrrriiing _sound, as if someone had just tugged on the pull-chord of a very tall set of drapes. Then, all at once the blackness of the cavernous chamber vanished into a blaze of white, and Alice's eyes were assaulted with such intense, consuming light that it seared like a physical ache. Her pupils dilated rapidly and her eyes flushed with tears…she winced away, covering her face with her hand, and only after a moment of careful peering through her cracked fingers was she able to adjust enough to fully open her eyes. She cautiously lifted her gaze, blinking madly and wiping away the lingering traces of salt water….when she saw what was in the wide, circular room before her, her jaw dropped in amazement. Mirana, who was standing near the wall at the far end of the great room, smiled appreciatively, the dark spots of her mouth and eyes seeming to hover by themselves for a moment until Alice could see clearly enough to distinguish her pale outline from the dazzling white stone of the floor and walls.

There, in the epicenter of the circular white chamber, was a tree….and yet, she was not entirely sure it _was _a tree. If it was, it was certainly unlike any tree Alice had ever seen. She walked slowly toward it, her mouth opening wider as she drew near, her hand reaching forward of it owns accord to touch one of the low-hanging branches.

The tree was as white as snow from top to bottom, so white that it seemed to glisten transparently, as if it were spun from glass…yet when Alice cautiously leaned forward and ran her fingers across the trunk, its surface was as soft and worn as aged paper. It was growing directly up from the floor of the room, inside a walled circle where its trunk was buried in the richest, blackest soil Alice had ever seen. The tree's branched reached all the way to the peak of the great domed ceiling, and as Alice followed it upward with her eyes she saw that directly above it was a large circular skylight cut into the roof, through which light poured into the room when a dark curtain was pulled away as Mirana had done moments before, and through which she could clearly see the peach and gold-colored hues of the early twilight, and the occasional dark, whirring little shapes of birds flitting back and forth.

"It's…._lovely," _Alice breathed, walking in slow circles around the trunk of the great tree and gazing raptly up at its wide spreading branches. She heard Mirana's footsteps approaching her and suddenly narrowed her eyes at the white boughs, staring thoughtfully. "But….it doesn't have any leaves," she realized aloud. "Is it real? Is it…dead?"

"Neither, in the academic sense. Watch," Mirana said plainly, stepping toward the trunk of the tree and inclining her head briefly, as if bowing to it. She delicately lifted her hand and felt along the smooth, papery bark for a few seconds before the tips of her fingers found five small indents marked in a circle which was so faint, one might never have noticed it merely by looking. Smiling knowingly, the White Queen plunged her fingers into the holes, and as she did a pale, thick pearly liquid squelched out of them, running over her skin like trickles of condensed milk. Alice made a face, but Mirana only retracted her hand and stepped back from the tree, sucking the gummy substance eagerly from her fingertips as she did. She noticed Alice's jilted stare and smiled, extending one sticky finger toward her face.

"_Sap of Eternity_. Try some? It's delicious."

"Er….no, thank you," Alice stammered, trying to smile politely in return.

The Queen shrugged, but pointed with her clean hand up toward the branches. "Look now."

Alice eagerly followed her gesture with her eyes and gasped faintly with delight. At the end of every sprig of the bare branches of the tree, little white buds began blooming before their eyes…after a few seconds, they had unfurled into tiny leaflets, then grew into wide, diamond shaped leaves, only one on the end of every twig, so that rather than shading them over with a mass of foliage the tree was sprinkled selectively with the adornments, almost as one would trim a Christmas tree. About half of the leaves were white, but the other half shone in the setting sunlight in all different colors, blue and green and red and pink and turquoise, glistening like polished jewels. Alice gaped at the wondrous spectacle for a moment longer, then looked questioningly at Mirana.

"But what does it mean? What is it?"

"This, Sir Alice," the Queen answered, her eyes turning dreamily skyward for a moment, as if losing herself in the branches, "….is the Royal Family Tree of Underland."

Alice's eyes widened.

"It extends back to the beginning of Underland….to the beginning of all things as we know them. This tree was planted by the first king of Underland more than five hundred years ago. This tree, Alice, is the oldest historical record of Underland in my possession."

Alice stopped, turning to look at her quizzically. "Historical record? But….I don't understand. It's only a tree."

"Look _closer," _the Queen smiled, pointing high into the branches. Alice squinted as closely as she could, but could see nothing other than white branches and diamond leaves. Mirana then lifted her chin high into the air and called out, in a very loud and clear voice, "_Mirana of Marmoreal."_

Alice glanced at her curiously from the corner of her eye, but her attention was swiftly drawn back to the Tree when there was suddenly a great creaking noise from high above them, as if a fierce wind had blown through the boughs. She blinked in surprise as she stared…for a moment, it seemed as if a fierce wind _were _blowing the boughs….they were swaying softly from side to side, waving back and forth as if caught in a gale….but then, all of a sudden Alice realized that the branches weren't only moving to the left and right….they were moving _downward. _She watched in wonder and alarm as one of the highest, narrowest boughs of the tree bent down in a smooth, curling _U _and reached all the way down to the floor, like a colossal rubbery arm. It moved down until the tip of the branch was hovering just in front of their faces, its single pale leaf held out like a palm for them to see.

Her heart beating fast with surprise and fascination, Alice watched as Mirana calmly took the leaf in her hands and smoothed it out, holding it flat for her to look at. Alice blinked and leaned closer, staring at it with swiftly dawning recognition.

There, written as plain as day in dark black lettering across the white, glistening surface of the leaf, was the name…._Queen Mirana of Marmoreal._

"Do you see?" Mirana asked, releasing the leaf as the bough of the tree slowly drew away from them, straightening up until it pointed again toward the skylight. "And there, on the branch directly beside it….that one is for my sister, Iracebeth. And the larger bough, that both of our branches stem from? The leaf on its left side, the white one, is for my mother, and the blue one on the right is my father's. Father entered into the family through marriage, you see….that's why his leaf is so brightly colored. Only the white leaves are children of the Royal line through blood."

"Through blood…." Alice repeated quietly to herself. _Through blood…._

At the center of her mind, a spark of an idea was flaring into life, growing brighter and hotter as she turned the thoughts over and over.

"Then that means…."

She moved forward toward the Tree and walked in circles around its trunk until she spotted what the sparking thought had hoped would be there…..a name, different from all the others….it was not written on a leaf, but carved in deep letters into the trunk of the Tree, so that unless one was looking for it, it might have gone unseen forever. It was a few feet above the top of Alice's head, and she leaned carefully forward, bracing her hands on the trunk, standing on tiptoe to read it. She mouthed the name silently with her lips.

_King Matimilee of Underland._

"King Matimilee," she said aloud, her voice seeming to resonate forever in the wide white room. The gears churning madly in her brain, thoughts all teeming and tumbling over one another, she took a step back from the Tree, her eyes fixed on the single name. "_King Matimilee…."_

"My ancestor," Mirana said softly, moving to stand beside her and gazing up at the etching. "My great, great, _great_ grandfather…..the first king of Underland."

"_The first king of Underland," _Alice whispered beneath her breath.

With every second that she stared at the name carved into the tree, a maddening feeling of urgency was welling up inside of her…the urge to act, the urge to run, to move forward, to do _something, _anything. This was a clue….this name, this Tree….she was _certain _of it. This was the first step to uncovering the secret of defeating the Oraculum, the first step to breaking the prophecy….she didn't know how, and she didn't know why, but as certain as she had ever known anything in her life, she _knew….._

_This was where she had to begin._

"Then he….King Matimilee….he was the one who planted the Tree. He was there at the beginning of Underland….the 'beginning of all things?'"

Mirana nodded in solemn reverence. "His name is the absolute earliest earmark of Underlandian history. Before him, before his name written on this tree….we know next to nothing."

Alice whirled about to look at her, her eyes wild with a sudden excitement. "Then he _must _be the one who created the Oraculum! There's no one else it could have been! That's what I've got to do to defy it, I've got to learn all I can about him, and how he did it, and what he----"

"Alice," the Queen interrupted gently, a strange, unsettling light of consolation in her eyes, "….I'm afraid it isn't that simple."

Alice's face fell, her brow knitting in frustration. "But…what if I---"

"Do you see that stump?" the Queen asked suddenly, lifting her arm and pointing midway up the trunk of the tree. Alice followed her hand and immediately saw it…indeed, she had seen it already, but hadn't thought to pay it any mind until this moment. Just a few feet above the etching of the first king's name was what appeared to be a branch of the Tree that had been sawed off long ago, leaving behind nothing but six or seven inches of healed-over stump that would never grow again.

"The Oraculum's parchment was made from the wood of that branch."

Alice's eyes shot wide open, her heart rocketing into her mouth as she jerked her head to pin the Queen with an incredulous stare…but before she could open her mouth to speak, Mirana laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, silencing her with a dark-eyed gaze.

"We know that the Oraculum was made during my great, great, great grandfather's lifetime. We know that it was likely he who ordered its creation, and that the earliest event it ever revealed was one that concerned him---"

"The hole in his garden," Alice blurted before she could stop herself.

Mirana nodded. "---yes. And we know that this missing branch of the Royal Tree is the material that was used to create the parchment itself. But beyond that, Alice…I'm afraid there is nothing more I can tell you. There's nothing more that we _know. _Not about my ancestor, not about the Oraculum, not about the first days of Underland….nothing."

As quickly as they had risen, Alice felt her hopes and spirits plummeting. The spark of an idea that had burned so brightly in her mind seemed to turn a corner and run into a dark, walled off tunnel, trapped and suffocated with nowhere else to go. She looked back up at the sawed-off branch of the Royal Tree….the poor, dead stump seemed to be mocking her with its barrenness, tantalizing her with the faint hope of a lead, then simply ending…dying off into nothingness as abruptly as it began.

_It's impossible, _the dead branch whispered to her. _Give up. Accept the inevitable._

_It's impossible…._

_NO, _Alice told herself defiantly, shouting in her own mind as if to drown out the plaguing doubts. _No….nothing is impossible!_

_Not if I refuse to believe that it is!_

Her heart throbbing in her chest, she turned back to Mirana, holding her gaze with a pleading, desperate gleam, struggling to fight off the dark grip of despair threatening to immobilize her completely.

"That can't be all," she begged, forcing herself to retain at least a portion of her calm. "It….it just _can't! _There _must _be something else, anything else….something in all of Underland that can give us _some _account of the past. _Please, _Mirana, think! _Think!"_

The White Queen's face took on a sad glint of pity as she looked into Alice's eyes. "I'm sorry, my friend," she said gently. "But I told you that there was only so much I could---"

"_No!" _Alice cried, reaching out and seizing Mirana's arm, mortified to find that her eyes were beginning to sting with unshed tears. "There _has _to be something more, there simply _must _be!"

_And why….why, as she felt the panic coming on, as she stared so intensely at Mirana….why was it only the Hatter's face that she could see? Why was he suddenly present in her every thought, her every fear…?_

"Anything. _Anything," _she pleaded, squeezing the Queen's arm tighter as her voice began to quiver, refusing to give the tears license to fall. "There has to be something….something _ancient _in Underland, doesn't there? Something that's been here since the beginning? Somewhere…._anywhere, _that I could _look?"_

Mirana sighed heavily. There was a long, pregnant silence, every second of which felt like hours to Alice, who stared at the Queen without so much as blinking. Her hands were beginning to tremble, but she forbade herself from breaking down. Finally, after what seemed an eternity of unbearable waiting….Mirana looked up.

"I don't want you to give yourself false hope," she said softly.

_Too late, _Alice thought. But she said nothing aloud and simply nodded vigorously, hanging eagerly on Mirana's every word.

"The odds of finding anything at all there are slim to none….let alone finding anything of _meaning…._and if you go getting your spirits up too high, it's only going to be that much more painful if there isn't anything there._"_

She nodded again, even harder. "I won't, I promise I won't," she lied through her teeth.

"There is…._one _place…..that just _may _be old enough to have existed in King Matimilee's time…"

"Yes, yes. _Anything."_

"….the ancient catacombs," Mirana finished, her voice lowering to a dark, near whisper, her eyes taking on a strange light. "The royal burial place of the kings and queens from the first centuries….before less _medieval _methods were adopted. But they've been searched before, and I can guarantee you, nothing of any historical account was ever found there….nothing but crumbling walls and empty crypts."

Her voice was thick with warning, but Alice was already too hopeful to care. She had been to the very brink of defeat and pulled back again, latching onto this single faint beacon of light like a drowning man to a lifeline, heedless of the Queen's reticence. She was smiling ear to ear, sniffing back her almost-tears as she shakily let go of Mirana's arm to dash a hand across her eyes. She shook her head, stifling relieved laughter.

"It doesn't matter. It's certainly better than nothing….I'll go, I'll go right now and I'll scour the place top to bottom, every day for thirty days, if I have to!"

"Alice…." Mirana held up a calming hand, a faint, irrepressible smile breaking through her serious demeanor. "….firstly, it won't do to be rushing off anyplace to_night."_

The Queen gestured with one hand toward the open skylight, and Alice remembered with a wince of sheepishness that it was nearly sundown. She touched the back of her neck and grinned awkwardly, glossing over her uncharacteristic burst of over-eagerness with a small laugh.

"Well, I….of course I didn't mean right this _moment…_."

The Queen's smile hooked in one corner and she raised an eyebrow ever so discretely. "Of course not. And secondly….I think you'll be wanting an escort or two."

The tone of her voice struck a nerve, and Alice's face straightened as she blinked questioningly.

"Why? Where exactly are these catacombs?"

The White Queen opened her mouth to respond, hesitated for an instant, then shook her head with a small sigh, as if what she had been about to say brought up troublesome memories that demanded a moment of her reflection before speaking.

"Well….you see….eleven years ago, when my sister Iracebeth began her dreadful siege on the country and seized control of Underland…she wasn't content merely to reign over the land from our ancestral family palace, from _this _palace. I think the place holds bad memories for her….a shame, really….but she never did get along very well with our parents, you see. Wanting a fortress of her own, she rallied an army of subjects---slaves, most of them, I'm afraid---and ordered the construction of her own palace….the Castle of Hearts."

Alice narrowed her eyes. She knew the nasty place all too well….at the very mention of its name, all of her submerged memories came bubbling in ugly blooms up to the surface….the twisted heart-shaped doorframes, the gaudy red and gold hangings on every surface, the servants and court threatened with beheadings every hour of the day, the walled courtyard with its vile red river of blood running beside it, and the Hatter…._the Hatter, _her poor friend chained by his ankles to his work table in that terrible milliner's prison she had locked him in….the very thought of it was enough to make her jaw clench.

"I remember it," was all she muttered bitterly beneath her breath.

Mirana nodded sadly. "The real tragedy, however, isn't _what _she built, but _where _she built it. She ordered the Castleof Hearts, you see, to be built directly over the ancient sight of the Royal Catacombs. I can only imagine that she had some angry ideas about paving over the remains of our past so that she could start afresh with her own Underland regime….but at any rate, the only way to reach the ruins now---or whatever there is _left _of them---is through the Red Castle."

Alice pursed her lips in thought. "Well….that shouldn't be too _terribly _difficult, should it? After all, with the Red Queen banished….I say, what _has_ become of her Castle these days? Is it empty?"

Mirana shook her head, her small, sly smile suddenly returning. "Not quite. Since we didn't have any formal use for the wretched place, we decided that the grandiose artifice of my sister's atrocities might as well be offered up in sacrifice to those she had so gravely wronged. We simply opened the palace up for anyone to enter or leave as they wished…..and consequently, it's become a sort of boarding house for a great number of displaced creatures. I think you'll find the décor much improved, in fact….as full of dirt and nests and weeds as it is. Nevertheless….there's no need for you to go exploring the caverns on your own. First thing tomorrow morning, I'll assemble an escort to take you there---in fact, perhaps I'll accompany you myself. It's been years since anyone has had access to the ancient catacombs, and I _do _have a few fond memories of the crypts….I was once taken there in my childhood as an educational outing. I saved a bit of shoulder bone that I found still intact in one of the chambers; I think it may have belonged to my great, great Aunt Helenia---she was a hunchback, you see."

Alice smiled broadly, partially from the thought of theRed Queen's horrid palace now serving as lodging for all manner of forest beasts and birds---many of whom she had likely rendered homeless herself, what with the tales the Hatter had told of her commanding the Jabberwocky to burn down entire acres of woodlands---and partially from the sheer, nearly uncontainable excitement she felt at even the frailest possibility of discovering more about Underland's past.

_Anything….anything at all that might help her in breaking the prophecy, was worth it. If she had to search until she went blind, she would do it….if it meant finding only the most meager clue to unraveling the mystery._

"Mirana," she said. "I don't know how I could possibly thank you enou---"

"Ub, ub ub!" the White Queen broke her off gently and raised a pale hand to silence her. "We've been over this, my dear Sir Alice. It's settled, and I don't want to hear another word from you on the matter." She smiled, and her dark mouth was marked with the definite sign of a wink. "Now…while I prepare the arrangements for tomorrow, why don't you make a return journey to the infirmary and see how our Court Milliner is recovering? Surely it must be time for his boneless friends to have been removed by now."

Alice opened her mouth again to try and say _thank you, _but caught herself just in time and clamped her lips shut with a knowing smile….turning to give Mirana one last look of gratitude that she could only hope expressed it all, she crossed the room, struggled to heave open one of the enormous doors, and left the White Queen alone in the chamber beside her enchanted family tree.

The moment she was alone in the corridor, Alice felt as if she couldn't contain her glee any longer…she hugged her elbows close to her body, squeezing her eyes shut and curling her fingers into fists, and did a small sporadic dance of happiness right there in the hallway. She was immediately struck with strong déjà vu as she remembered her feeble attempt to perform the _futterwacken _atHamish Ascot's garden party more than two years ago---_how terribly long ago it seemed!---_but rather than indulge the surge of memories, she instead turned and began hurrying down the long corridor back towards the infirmary two floors below. When she reached the spiral staircase, she found herself so overwhelmed with a sudden burst of energy that she took first step at a half-jump, very nearly tumbling head first down the stairwell….when she reached the floor of the infirmary, she positively _ran _to the door.

Hurrying breathlessly into the white---_though indeed, now rather golden, due to the cast glow of the darkening twilight_---room, Alice skidded to an abrupt halt, her elation replaced with an instant cringe of nausea as she entered the infirmary just in time to see Dr. Flinspint peeling the purple, sickeningly bloated body of the last leech off of the Hatter's back as he lay face down and apparently unconscious on the bed, just as she and Mirana had left him. Alice immediately clapped a hand over her mouth, watching in transfixed repulsion as the porcupine physician first struggled to stuff the wriggling, inflated leech back into the jar with its brethren, then apply a wad of cotton to the bleeding, sucker-mouth pinpricks on Tarrant's skin.

After staring in horror for half a moment, Alice swallowed thickly and urged herself forward, hurrying to the Hatter's bedside and causing Flinspint to jump in alarm as she popped into view.

"Bloody _bottle wings!" _he growled, holding a paw over his heart and nearly dropping the now mercifully sealed jar of leeches. "You know, it's terrifically _crude _to sneak up on a doctor so!"

"How is he doing?" Alice demanded, ignoring his annoyance. At the sight of the Hatter still bedridden, her excitement had all but evaporated and been replaced with worry and the guilty memory of his predicament, which she was mortified to realize she had nearly forgotten.

The porcupine muttered irately under his breath as he dabbed away the last of theblood and climbed down from the bed, closing things up in his medical bag.

"Oh, stop your wretched _worrying_, he's going to be just fine. He's weak with blood loss, is all…he'll sleep like a stone through the night, then be up and as normally _loony_ as ever by tomorrow morning-----but only if you stop _pestering _him and let him get his sleep!" the doctor snapped, noticed as Alice absently began stroking gently at his wild red hair. She caught herself and yanked her hand away, her face almost flushing with embarrassment. She cleared her throat quietly and folded her hands, nodding obediently.

"Of course. Absolutely….I….I only wanted to make sure he was alright."

Dr. Flinspint sighed tiredly, at last storing his little black bag away in the cabinet under the nightstand, then waddling wearily toward the rug and flinging it back to reveal the door to his underground hole, which he jerked carelessly open. He began descending backwards down the small ladder, but paused with his head just poking above the floor and shot a penetrating glance at Alice, his little black eyes pinning her like darts.

"Now you _leave him bloody be _until morning, is that clear? He doesn't need anyone fawning and fidgeting, making a fuss over him _now_."

This time_, _her cheeks _did _flush. She shook her head at the doctor, trying vainly to stifle the warmth creeping up the sides of her throat.

"I won't. Promise." She raised her hand to demonstrate her sincerity.

The porcupine scoffed, muttering a few more muted curses under his breath, then finally vanishing down into his burrow with a definite _bang _of the wooden hatch.

Alice looked at the place where he had been for a few more flustered moments….then slowly grew a soft, relieved smile, the butterflies in her stomach settling quietly.

"_Thank you, doctor_," she whispered, nearly inaudibly.

The sun was now sinking fast below the horizon, the sky painted in watery layers of orange and lavender, the staining light seeping in through the infirmary windows and tinting the room with swathes of color and long, creeping shadows.

Alice looked down at the Hatter.

He was still asleep…likely, he hadn't woken up since they'd left him. She felt better imagining that he hadn't been conscious during the dreadful removal of his leeches…she shuddered at the mere memory of the nasty creatures, and before she knew what she was doing she had laid her hand gently over the skin of his back, running her fingers along the pale, bruised skin. Admittedly, though, it looked as if the bloodsuckers had done their service well….the cuts on his back had shriveled into little more than thin lines of discoloration, and his half-snoring breathing seemed to be a bit slower and shallower than it had been before.

Alice smiled at his calm, expressionless face….the mad colorings of his eyes and his mouth seemed to stand out starker and more strangely in the shadowy light of the setting sun….the ends of his orange hair were ringed with a halo of light, a fiery outline of illumination that almost looked as if it might be hot to the touch.

_He was exhausted._

_She would leave him to his rest….she would let him have these hours of peace undisturbed._

Creeping on her tiptoes, Alice turned to leave the room….but she hadn't made it further than the end of his bed when she found herself looking back at him, biting her lip with temptation as an overwhelming urge suddenly flared up inside of her.

And for once….for no reason that she could readily think of….perhaps, for no particular reason at all, other than the indulgence of a mad whim, a stirring moment of unchecked, fanciful emotion….she didn't question the temptation at all. She simply gave in to it.

Walking so slowly and silently that her footsteps didn't even creak the floorboards, she crept back to the Hatter's bedside and knelt down next to his pillow. Leaning forward, almost holding her breath with a wild anticipation she didn't dare to question….she slowly, carefully smoothed the hair away from the side of his face and moved silently towards him.

As lightly as the feet of a landing butterfly….she touched a single, silent kiss to his cheek.

He didn't even stir.

Smiling into the darkness, Alice leaned back, looking at his peaceful expression one last time before rising noiselessly to her feet and slipping to the door as swiftly and quietly as a shadow.

"_I've got good news for you tomorrow," _she mouthed silently into the room…then closed the door behind her, leaving him alone to what she could only imagine were the wildest, most wonderfully nonsensical dreams anyone had ever had.


End file.
